Question for the guys....

Id give it a try but after 5 dates id expect something more

A handjob would get me through until then

Need a trigger warning on this shit though i got a semi typing this

 

Just so you know, I'm 22 soon to be 23 so I'm barely over the minimum age you describe

Anyway, with regards to your question, personally I wouldn't want to get into any form of sex with a girl I'd be dating until I'd be sure she is the right one for me and that our bond is strong enough - certainly not until our relationship has lasted a year, perhaps even longer. I want to give my virginity to a girl that I truly love and care for, and who loves, cares for and remains loyal to me, particularly because I'd expect a long-term relationship to emerge from the dates. To be honest part of me doesn't even want to have sex until I marry the girl in question. I certainly would never consider sleeping with a girl I've only just met or only taken out a few times.

But then, I'm a conservative man with ideals inherited from more civilised times. I'm a rare breed nowadays

In general I agree with @DM10, it depends on the individual man. There are still a few others like me who want to form committed relationships first, probably the majority nowadays like to bang after a few months or even weeks, and there are of course the degenerate bastards who will seduce and shag women after the first date with no respect for the girl.

 

Spoiler: Gday m8

were all gonna make it brah

 

I'd like to think so, I hope there are some girls who also have this philosophy, because I'm concerned that so few preserve their virginity for the right person in these hedonistic times (I ideally want a girl who's also a virgin so that when we do make love for the first time, we can give our virginities to each other as a symbol of our affections).

 

Some entitled guys in here, but others balanced.

Just communicate about expectations. As long as both of you know what you want and are honest about it, you can figure out if you're a good fit quickly and not waste time with guessing games.

 

I know for me if the girl I was dating wasn’t hooking up with anyone else, then I would be okay just making out for a while. Like if I knew for sure the girl wasn’t having sex or oral sex with another guy.

so yea, I think there are some guys out there willing to wait longer. Both parties would just need to be open about it and share their feelings so in case any frustrations came up then they could be resolved

 

The OP is on the market for cuddles and is willing to purchase it through a low level of sexual attention. She wants to know how much and how quickly men on the market expect that kind of payment, in part due to where similar products to herself price themselves.

She could limit her range to a demographic more likely to have expectations more in line with her own, but that might mean the field of candidates drop in value. She could also raise her own market value to increase her negotiating power/increase chances of landing a preferred candidate. Either way, I don't see how declaring intent and entering negotiations early is a negative.

 

@StarRider is not a follower of macho culture 'red pill' crap from what I've seen, as he gave me some great advice to avoid allowing this material to dissuade me from developing a friendship with a girl into a relationship. He seems to largely have a balanced viewpoint and shouldn't be dismissed so aggressively.

I'm slightly surprised that he is being a bit negative about singles in their 40s and what they can or cannot offer, but it all depends on demographic. In the case of young guys in their 20s, a single 40-year-old woman will not be able to offer what they are looking for unless they have a fetish for sleeping with older women, in which case I agree with him, but on the other hand, I disagree with him in regard to single older guys being less open to committed relationships - there will doubtless be some single men in their 30s, 40s or 50s looking for a woman with a similar amount of maturity as they have to begin a family with, as they may not have been lucky enough to find a partner for that purpose when they were younger and may be less enticed at the idea of wooing a younger woman (as in a fair few circles either the guy will look like a predator or the girl will look like a gold-digger, and even if they are not part of these circles, they may be put off by the immaturity of younger women).

 

@Gina3111 going to be honest with you. A guy that have options is going to choose a woman that is fun to be around, is preatty in her eyes and is ready and willing to have sex with him in the first dates. if you tell a guy like that, that you want to not have sex for several dates he is going to find a woman as good as you but that is willing and happy to have sex with him. He have options, so he can choose the best offer.

On the other hand, man that don't have options are going to do anything to be with you and are going to wait for you as long as they can. They are desparate for a woman and would put up with everything you want just to be with you.

So.. to your answer.. yes, there are man that are going to wait for you to have sex as long as you want. the problem? you are not going to be attracted to them because that man are the once that don't have any woman in their life and are probably creepy, low value and probably unattractive in your eyes.

My advice for you, forget about dating.. resist the need of been with someone. Get your shit together and once you are healed from this addiction and you are ready to act naturally.. (basically have sex when you feel you want to have sex with a man and don't avoid it because you have issues) then go and start dating again.

 

Agreed, @Gina3111 it’s not true. @p1n1983 is one of those ‘red pill’ relics of ‘macho culture’ that appears to think seducing women on the first or second date and then leaving her is what makes you a ‘real man’. In reality it just makes a man a player, and players are the real weaklings of the male gender. They’re spineless, selfish and commitment-phobic. However, not all men are like that, indeed a good portion of men are strong and have options, but are also gentlemanly enough to want you for genuine love and only sex once the romance is fully in the air, as I and others have said before.

He’s right about freeing yourself from your addiction before getting into the dating scene, that’s why we’re here after all and it will make a difference, and avoiding dating apps being havens for men who want sex, but everything else in his post is wrong, at least if you want a sincere, committed, long-term relationship with a man who wants the same.

Keep to your mission, good lady, and don’t settle until you’re sure any beau you find will be loyal to you and respects you for who you are.