Are these sharp ups and downs normal?

Thank you very much for that detailed summary!

It's a shame that so many people still refuse to believe that a severe PMO addiction can lead to physiological problems and imbalances in the endocrine system. I've even seen so many members of this forum say that the physical symptoms of PMO abuse are all in people's heads. I suffered these symptoms for many years, and I know that it most certainly wasn't all in my head. Before I knew it was PMO causing this, I just came to the conclusion that I had some kind of adrenal imbalance and/or insufficiency after Googling my symptoms, but I had no idea how to go about fixing it. Most doctors have zero interest in discussing such things, so that was a dead end. It wasn't until 2019 that it occurred to me that my intense PMO sessions might be contributing to or causing these adrenal problems. It made perfect sense to me that getting myself all revved up with such unnatural levels of stimulation for hours on end could be burning out my adrenal function. That's when I started Googling things like "porn addiction adrenal problems" and found this forum.

Back in 2015, I was experiencing all kinds of vague and mysterious health ailments that doctors couldn't seem to figure out. I didn't even know about NoFap at this point, and I was completely ignorant of the fact that it was my addiction causing these problems. My testosterone levels were one of the first things that they tested, and the doctor told me that my levels were slightly higher than average for somebody in my age range. So of course they figured at that point that it wasn't a testosterone problem. I'm no endocrinologist, but it makes sense to me that if you have a lower androgen receptor density, then your overall levels of free T would probably be higher because it isn't being efficiently absorbed and utilized by the body. At that point, it's basically floating around in your bloodstream with nowhere to go and showing seemingly higher T levels. Do you think I'm on the right track with this line of thought?

One thing they did notice was that my cortisol levels were a little higher than they should be, but they didn't investigate that or even try to offer an explanation as to why they might be higher than they should be.

Once I discovered NoFap and quit PMO in June 2019, I noticed that my health problems were gradually disappearing one by one as the months went by. And now, a little over two years on NoFap with only a handful of relapses, most of the problems that I used to suffer are completely gone, and the few that remain have diminished considerably and are continuously improving. My voice is deeper, my body hair and facial hair are much more dense and coarse, I can gain muscle mass rapidly, and my face looks more masculine. Back when I was constantly fapping, I kind of had a round baby face with very little definition, but my jawline and cheekbones are more pronounced now. Even my demeanour has changed; I now find myself acting a lot more mature and stoic than I used to.

Oh, and if anybody is wondering what my symptoms were, I'll copy and paste them here from another thread if you'd like to compare:

Physical:

• Frequent nausea.
• Various digestive problems (some quite severe).
• Constant hunger pangs and stomach growling (even after recently eating a full meal).
• Inexplicable pains all over my body.
• Hot flashes and frequent sweating.
• Extreme insomnia and sleep disturbances.
• Rapid heartbeat that would never seem to slow down (even when relaxed and sedentary).
• Shallow breathing and occasional hyperventilating.
• Always low on energy, like I never felt rested or fully charged no matter how much sleep I got.
• A constant wired-out and on-edge feeling. "Tired but wired," as people with adrenal problems describe it.
• Very frequent urination (actually worsened during my initial withdrawal period, but 100% gone now).
• Tinnitus (and a weird itchy feeling inside my ears).
• Weak immune system and frequent infections.
• Occasional vertigo and dizziness.
• Vision problems.

Mental:

• Frequent depression.
• Occasional anxiety and paranoia.
• Night terrors and nightmares.
• Occasional depersonalization and derealization.
• Emotional numbness.
• Anhedonia.
• Brain fog and generally feeling dipshitty all the time.
• Often feeling introverted and unsociable.
• Lack of creativity.

 

She never did tell me the actual values; she just told me that I was slightly above average for my age range.

I just hope that medical science catches up with all this eventually. Not only do too many people go on living like this too long, but too many fall into this trap in the first place. The general public should have a fair warning as to the devastating long-term effects that excessive pornography use can have on a person's body and mind.

 

I've heard from so many other guys with testosterone levels in the lower range that doctors are renowned for being reluctant to put people on testosterone-replacement therapy. It's weird to me that they are willing to treat other hormonal deficiencies without delay, but there's so much red tape when it comes to testosterone. I've never heard an explanation as to why this is.

And yeah, there have been numerous times that doctors have tried to put me on SSRI antidepressants. I objected and flat-out refused every single time. SSRIs are overprescribed to so many people who don't even need them these days, and I know that I don't need them because clinical depression doesn't run on either side of my family. There are some people out there who genuinely do need them because they are born with a hereditary chemical imbalance, but I'm not one of them. I think that hereditary chemical imbalance is probably quite rare, and pharmaceutical companies convince doctors that more people require them than actually do because it wouldn't be very cost effective to produce such a complex drug for such a small segment of the population. That might sound kind of conspiracy-ish, but it makes perfect sense when you look at it from a marketing point of view.

I also had the intolerance to intense physical activity back when I was frequently PMOing, and I had it for the first year of abstinence too. If I engaged in too much physical activity in one day, I would get the hot flashes, sweats, and anxiety. I would also be guaranteed to suffer from debilitating insomnia that night because my body couldn't gradually wind down after exertion; it was almost as though my body was stuck in a perpetual state of overdrive afterwards. Even if I did manage to get to sleep, I would feel absolutely drained the next day. This has since improved immensely though; I can now exercise and generally exert myself much more throughout the day without experiencing any of these negative effects later on.

Did you also find that you weren't digesting food properly, and that it would pass through you way too quickly? Back when I was an intense PMO addict and during the first six months of abstinence, I would eat something, and it would pretty much drop through me in under ten hours and look like it had only been partially digested. I thought for years that I had something majorly wrong with my digestive system, but it was caused by my PMO addiction all along.

The heat actually doesn't bother me at all. It's 31°C/88°F right now, and I've felt fine despite being outdoors most of the day. My city went through a heat dome last month where it was 44°C/111°F for a few days. That really cocked me over, but I think anybody would have difficulty with that regardless of their current health situation. I find that the winters where I live (Canada) actually do a lot more damage to me. Once the temperature drops to -25°C/-13°F or lower, that seems to really aggravate any of the physical withdrawal symptoms I'm still experiencing. I guess we all react to things differently, but extreme temperatures in general do exacerbate withdrawal symptoms for sure.

I know exactly how you feel. I've put two years of time and effort into this; I just want to feel normal! It's a very gradual, non-linear process though. As cliché as it sounds in regard to recovering from addictions, it really is true that all you can do is take it one day at a time. But yeah, we definitely are on the right track. Most of my physical withdrawal symptoms are gone, and I'm noticing that my overall ratio of good days to bad days is beginning to shift over to more good days than bad days.

One thing I noticed is that recovery from addictions has a lot in common with healing from a physical injury in the sense that the healing process is exponential. Every time I notice improvements, they are always much more abundant than any prior phases of improvements that I experienced, and the gaps between improvement phases seem to get narrower each time too.

 

Yeah, I think all addictions have a major impact on the digestive system. I have a close friend who is a recovering alcoholic, and he says that not only was his digestion always dysfunctional when he was drinking all the time, but it got even worse for a while when he went through his initial phases of withdrawal. Medical science tells us that the brain and gut are inextricably linked, yet doctors often overlook this.

You must be in BC too if you're getting bombarded with these temperatures lol.

The first year definitely is the most difficult; it's an uphill climb the whole way. I wouldn't say the second year is easy, but the withdrawal symptoms are nowhere near as severe as the first year.

Sorry for the late reply. I had a wet dream a few days ago, and it seems to have set me back a little bit. While it might be much less severe than a PMO relapse, it still leaves you feeling noticeably drained for about a week.

 

It saddens me to think of how many teenagers, guys in their twenties, and even adolescents are out there who were put on prescriptions for depression, anxiety, and ADHD when these problems were actually caused by PMO and other things that cause imbalances in the reward system like excessive gaming. I hope that society eventually catches up with technology and learns how to mitigate its downsides, because I feel that it's gotten to a point now where technology has run amok and begun to enslave us.

That's great to hear! Just don't be discouraged if you fall back into a slump, because it does happen from time to time. I'm currently going through another slump right now, but I have a feeling that I'm on the cusp of a significant breakthrough. I've been having a lot of strange, vivid dreams lately, and I've read from multiple sources that having dreams like this is indicative of your brain doing some deep, intensive rewiring in your sleep.

I wouldn't say that the brain fog is too debilitating after a wet dream, but there are some other negative effects like feeling fatigued and listless, mild depression, and loss of motivation. But these effects usually taper off after about a week and are nowhere near as severe as a PMO relapse.

 

I used to get a lot of eye floaters. My eyes would feel very strained and sore, almost like there was a pressure behind them that's difficult to accurately describe (kind of like that feeling when you've been reading small text for too long). They would also get dry sometimes, and I would feel an irritating burning sensation when they got dry. Those problems have completely vanished since starting NoFap.

 

Yeah, it's really difficult to explain isn't it? It feels like there's air pressure in the sockets behind your eyes, and the extraocular muscles feel stiff or swollen when you move your eyes. That's the only way I can describe it.