How to get over an obsession with a specific porn model?

Let me elaborate. (Long - hope it helps someone!)

First became aware of Louisa in 2013, when she was 20. Chatted her up, got severely swatted down and fled in shame, but came back again and learned how to talk to her so she wouldn't go off on me.

Got to know her, never spent a dime on her because her content is reposted all over the net and I was pretty broke at the time. I never said anything sexual to her because since I wasn't paying, I didn't think that was right. It was just curiousity over her life.

She would do things like Skype with me from a hotel - she flies to different cities to meet men who put up the $$, plus she makes a huge amount of money from her webmodeling, lots of $$$ to travel and buy beautiful clothes and keep her body coiffed.

One night while we were just chit chatting, she changed her shirt right in front of me, just up, off, another one over the head, pull it down, and we kept chatting.

It was a thrill because she is very beautiful, and I took it not as a flirt but as a statement from her of "I'm comfortable with this person and I'm going to change my shirt in front of them." It was pretty flattering. And my friends, this person was blessed by mother nature, I'll stop right there.

But she was also young and bratty and beautiful and spoiled, and every now and then she would "fly off the handle" and we'd fall out. Like many young people, she likes clubs and partying, and she would always flip out when she'd been drinking. I would sort of come back - I think she would forget her flip-outs. And I happened to know she liked me as a person.

Snapchat came along and we started snapping - again, no mention of sex, but she was my number 1 fap. There was just something about her that's different from all the others.

Finally she said "Dude, you never buy anything!" and she had a point, so I laid off her.

Things turned around financially for me in 2018. She opened an OnlyFans which I joined for 10 bucks earlier this year. She didn't know it was me, and I was able to ask her all these questions about her life, but now I could also go deep with sex. Her honest answers sent me to fapdom again and again. The fact that she could write a coherent sentence was a thrill, too, as opposed to usual "Ty" when you write some women you may have a crush on. (Realizing, too, that they have dozens of emails to get through.)

I would ask a Louisa a deep question about, say, what would be the ideal date with her and tip 5 bucks. It was a pleasure to finally start throwing her money, as pathetic as 5 bucks is. But her answers were long and she answered every question I had about her childhood, what kind of guy she likes, how school is going, and such. (She is in law school - dispelling the myth of the bubble-headed webmodel)

Then her mother's mother died and I asked if I could drop her a note because mine had also just died. She supplied the address, and Mom and I dropped each other letters in the post for a time. That's real trust, not your imagination.

Then I found NoFap, and I realized I couldn't talk to L any more and expect to have a fighting chance.

I quit her about 2 months ago. She's still one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen and when she comes to the USA, as she does every now and then (She's Australian, and the accent is part of the allure) we agree we'll meet up - not for sex, but dinner, a date, a drive, and such.)

Til then, bye-bye Louisa the Beautiful.

 

Such a beautiful and well-written story, I hope your meeting go well...

 

Humanize her it’s the best thing you can do. It’s not perfect and doesn’t always work but when you find out your favorite actress has been abused in the past it gives you a different perspective on her scenes.

 

It’s really hard. And honestly, if I dropped my obsession of the one person I wouldn’t have really even be addicted to this porn stuff.

 

Back when I watched porn I had my favs that I'd fantasize about what helped me was looking at their history and what GOT them into porn, a lot of the time its because they've suffered some trauma growing up that caused them to seek the validation of men by doing porn...

Remember the women in porn all just want attention, validation and fast money, and they see porn as a way to provide that, they put on a mask and project this "fantasy girl" which is why they all use stage names, and a lot of them struggle with "losing themselves" to the porn persona where they have to be "on" all the time and be that fantasy, so porn isn't good for them either...