Kissing a girl for the first time

Around three months ago, in my typical day I was waking up with the sense of grief after a long session of jerking off to my favourite porn clips. After a while, feeling completely depleted and unmotivated I was heading directly to my desk, turning on the computer and playing video-games till the dawn. It was an easy way to live, no responsibilities at all. I felt comfy and satisfied.

If I wanted to flirt up with the opposite sex I was heading to some online dating sites, I felt good only with the sense that we're separated with wall. Not direct contact, just texting. Situation easy to handle.
Then I turned twenty one. And I said to myself - You need to do something with your life, either you will rot to death here. I tried the best thing I knew. NoFap.

Everyone around was always saying to me - Why don't you have a girlfriend? You're attractive and funny guy, what's wrong with you?
Well there were a few reasons. I was socially anxious loner, comfortable with his own company, hiding himself from people and avoiding any contact. If I was horny I was masturbating. Choosing the best girl and perfect scene to achieve a climax. Why bother going out and looking for a real deal, risking rejection? I had everything I wanted at any time, without any effort and any risk. It was incredibly harmful, I see it so clearly now...

As I was progressing through abstinence my confidence and self-esteem were rising up. I started to get out of the house more, rebuilding my social life, attending parties and so on. At first, I was just trying to initiate the dance with certain girls, after some time I began to talk with them. Yesterday I destroyed the walls completely, trying cold approach and one on one conversation outside of the party environment.

Is saw that she's attracted to me. We started to dance, or should I rather say - walking around the dancefloor and shouting to each other. She wanted to go outside so we did it.
We went to the nearby beach and started a little conversation. I was confident like never before, I felt no judgement from her side at all. Just wanted to enjoy the moment. We hold hands and started to playing around with each other. Full moon, bunch of stars at the sky, ducks swimming around at the water... Great atmosphere. We even laid down for a moment at the pier. She promised me a kiss a little while ago and I get it. At first it was just in a cheek, but later I received the real one. It felt like something special, even considering this as a one night stand.

I'm stepping out of my comfort zone further and further. Maybe one day I will be able to live a normal life again. This lifestyle is giving a lot of inner strength and confidence, it's not an easy way to live, but really worth the trouble. What can I say? It's probably just a beginning...

 

@modernstore99 Thank you. I appreciate this community for the people like you. Stay on the bright side of the path!

 

@modern milarepa Yes. Great feeling, especially after so many bad days. I was rewarded for my effort.