All I can think about is sex

Be happy about that

I'm on my 8th day and I wish I could only think of sex and fucking other women

The only thing I can think of is DEATH.

I used PMO as a mean to avoid the question and reality of death and possible afterlife

Right now, without PMO, I'm CRUSHING under those emotions coming up. Teletubbies inviting me for big hugs after I die, Some North Indian wise spiritual man telling me some secret truths while I'm exploring Asia.

 

I also think about these things, very depressing. I want to know what it’s all about

 

I'm Catholic, but not practitioning (prayer time mainly) because of basically laziness

I used to watch gore videos in the past. I went on specific websites and watched people getting executed and that stuff. It was when I discovered that there were suicide recordings too (like someone streamed their suicide and it was uploaded to gore websites afterwards) which triggered that WE WILL ALL DIE thinking, it was then when I realized that I am watching a person painfully going on that long lonely journey which comes after death.

I even used to get panic attacks afterwards. Never again, I've been gore free for almost 2 years now

But the thoughts are still there. That we are fragile. That we all will die. And when we will die we will take this journey ALONE

Just as Oasis sang, live forever. That's what I want, to live forever here on earth. No death.

You can check out my thread in the rebooting section. I went through hell today when I took a nap