The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 15,

A Hobbit once again!

Thank you Fellowship for all of your wonderful support!

 

I can't help this: You do realize that "trod" is the past tense of "tread", right? I just wonder whether "walked on" is what you intend here. Sorry if I'm raining on a parade. Maybe this is just what you mean, I just wasn't sure. Anyway, I wish I had over 90 days right now. I will fight for that for myself! Good job so far!

I have one day, so I'm on my way. At least I have not watched p-subs lately, and no pornography in almost 300 days. That was the worst of it. Now I try not to fantasize if I masturbate, and it loses its appeal. Also, Habitica is still helping. I am making more changes than just stopping PM.

 

Day 92, trod on!

91 days – After carefully studying the Gate you decide is too dangerous to charge it full front. The fallen brother Gollum reveals there´s a secret entrance to Mordor. With a sigh of relief you turn south. Your path now follows the borders of Ephel Dúath, the Mountains of Shadow.

 

Day 195

 

I do realize that, however I was referring to the Jamaican Patois version of the word trod which can encompass past and present at the same time....I am trodding towards Zion. Where do you trod towards?

I guess if I was referring specifically to this forum, and our walk together on the journey then "walked on" might make some since...but I would probably still go with something else...I see time more as the Hopi see time...I understand our experience is linear, but I overstand that time as we understand it is a construct of the physical reality. Metaphysics has virtually proven that time is an illusion, it is actually tenseless. Using cosmic time "trod" imo is more accurate and effective for me because it conveys my understanding of time and depicts my personal journey.

 

Yeah bro , I didn't relapse today. I also started exercising and meditating again.

 

Day 34.

 

At day 17, Longest streak in 18 months. Momentum is strong, I now feel confident carrying the ring to its inevitable destruction. I'm done being a fallen King.

 

Day 29!

"It seemed like all the way to tomorrow and over it to the days beyond."

 

it's still early but I feel like I want to drop to bed ..and I'm reading Walt Whitman:
'
Passage indeed O soul to primal thought,
Not lands and seas alone, thy own clear freshness,
The young maturity of brood and bloom,
To realms of budding bibles.

O soul, repressless, I with thee and thou with me,
Thy circumnavigation of the world begin,
Of man, the voyage of his mind's return,
To reason's early paradise,
Back, back to wisdom's birth, to innocent intuitions,
Again with fair creation.'

 

Daily checking in
Interesting, on the other attemps, i got many urges on this day but here i am and i don't feel nothing of that.
I still have the theory when someone not do a binge section after a fall ,this has results on the long term.

 

Analyzing evil
This was mostly a rest day, I woke up early and went to the park, I did a video doing some type of drunken dancing movement, it was fun.
I spent part of the morning and afternoon watching cinema analysis psychology videos of villains. occasionally I have this hobby of watching psychology analysis of people or interviews of people in the dark side of life, like junkies, sex addicts, gamblers, prostitutes. Usually I get bored of it and watch it again after some months.
I overdid it mentally some days back so I had a little headache for some days, today the pain is almost gone so I studied a medical case, without rush, I texted the patient and if we find a time to meet I’ll see her tomorrow.

 

I relapsed today on my 15th day. This was an interesting streak for me. The first week was basically a walk in the park, where I was incredible energetic, motivated and in a really great, positive mood. The second week, especially the last two days were the opposite. Interacting with other people suddenly became incredible exhausting, I felt depressed, short tempered, impatient and trying to not be a total asshole became increasingly hard. For the first time I think i didn't relapse because the craving for PMO itself was so strong but because I had serious dopamine withdrawals. I did not enjoy the P and M and even whilst at it I thought "I don't want to do this". Once it was over I felt disappointed in myself but at the same time I experienced the withdrawal "symptoms" disappear. It's honestly scary to me how much of an addiction this actually is and how at ease I feel now that I've given in to it. It's not very motivating to put my counter back to 0 but I do hope that what @Revanthegrey said is true. I don't want to waste what I achieved with my last streak by staring another binge section after this fall. I hope I manage to do that and that I go right back into it.

 

Day 196

 

406 days