The Lord of the Rings Challenge

day 61- dwarf

 

elf again! more than a month without porn and with real gf feeling so myself!

 

Day 0
I've been fighting with the urge of pm for the last couple of days. Unfourtanately, I was defeated. I've been lazy, I'm in a stressfull times in my life and it pushes me into being a procrastinator. Do not do that. Work or study or exercise at least 5 minutes if you start to feel like you want to delay the things that you are supposed to do.

 

day 24
The problems are temporary i say to myself , i am trying to no use the P as a route of escape

 

42 days, 6 weeks. I am really tired this morning.

 

day 9 check in.

The last 2 days have not been good due to my indulgence in porn. So I have relapsed in that sense.

The only good thing I could say is that I haven't jerked off to orgasm.

 

Day 10
I was able to show physical affection towards my wife and hold her without getting aroused, which is a good sign for me that I may be getting into flatline.

 

Checking in.

 

Venom
It's in me
It eats me while I'm not feeding it
When I do it gives me strength
until it needs to feed again
Can I find a way without you?

Since starting to train outside my morning training is going better. Looking forward to getting my bug repellant so I can run at the park without donating blood. Just got striking by anderson silva, looking forward to finishing that and the way of the fight. I'll probably complete atomic relationships today. I'm either going to continue reading guys advice books or take a break and just focus on meditation, training and reading spiritual books/mma books. After GSP and Anderson Silva's book I'd like to checkout BJ Penn's book and there's a 'how to prevent injury in mma' book I might look at too after that.

 

Checking in. Not feeling super safe today so coming here to screw my head back on. Digging the Pink Floyd @RiseToGreatness
My relapse last month, after 164 days clean, came from downloading dating apps and the porn-like environment that created for me. I got rid of them, but not before connecting with one woman who I've begun seeing. So, it's strange. The apps did what they're supposed to, but also caused a PMO slide at the worst possible time--when connecting with a real woman. Sigh. I've been having a hard time processing it all, along with becoming sexually active with said woman. Real sex=amazing and far beyond anything PMO can offer, but of course it also leads to the chaser effect and remembering the struggle of staying clean while being sexually active. Monk mode as a single man was surprisingly easier. This is also the first person I've been with since my divorce, so I have those confusing feelings running around my head as well. So, I'm in a different head space right now, and it's a far more challenging one. Just want all you to know I'm here and rooting for you and proud of each and every one of you for fighting the good fight here. Be well!

 

Day zero. Let us begin.

 

3 days. Played football with my friends, studied and meditated yesterday.

 

Good day everybody!

I've been feeling well, those last days were light and easy going. I forgot to mention that I was approved in a federal university! These really made me hopeful for the future. Also, the @RiseToGreatness advice has proved itself very worthy taking. This switch of mindset really helps, those 7 days passed much more faster lightly than I'd expect.

But now I have reached the danger week. The days between day 7 and 14 are the most dificult for me, but I'll try not to focus on the numbers, but in the day itself. I hope I'll be able to stick to this mantra of one day at a time and pass through it. Also, I restarted running. It' awsome, just like meditating, since it demands deep concentration on breathing and feeling your surroundings.

Hope us all the best! Let's not give up!

 

"Teach young men that sexuality is a healthy, wonderful thing. Teach them that their attraction to porn is a very normal consequence of their biology and brains, that they should try not to slip up, but if they do, to just get right back in the saddle and keep on trucking."
~Art of Manliness website, https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/how-to-quit-porn/

Let us not look at porn as this daunting, highly addictive monster; let us rather look at it like junk food. Make it not be overwhelming. We can quit! If you read the article, it discusses how the KKK was feared because it was secretive and seemed really dangerous, but when someone exposed it and showed it for the cowardly organization that it was, police grew some balls and took it down a notch or two rather than sitting on their hands in fear. Let us take that example with pmo: Do not be afraid, we can kick this.

Onward!