Am I a Sissy?? (Actually a good story with happy ending, trust me, read the whole thing)

I read all of your story and oh man...so many similarities to mine. I watched some weird types of porn over the last 1.5 - 2 years including sissy, gay, trans, gore, snuff, hentai, bestiality etc. which really fu***d up my personality, self-esteem and overall my all identity.

I'm confused about my sexuality at this point thinking that I might be bisexual, but in reality I'm not into men or doing anything with one. I didn't have or used any sex toys like you, but at one point I wanted to and after a while I snapped to reality and thought logically. I don't want this and I will never do it. I had thoughts about being raped or being a female, but there were just thoughts and that's what will remain. It's weird because this happens for about 6 months only. And oh yeah, I'm 22 by the way. Because of porn and low self-esteem I didn't had sex or a girlfriend. I want to, but porn and what happened in the last 6 months has been a wall in front of me.

I just want my old life back, my old self. I feel like an alien in my own body, it's very weird. I'll try to go 100 days hard mode till 28 of December and God I hope everything will at least turn into good. I became suicidal and my mental health is at a point break, so I need this change in my life...and if it will not happen...at least I know what ot do.

Thank you for sharing this story!

 

Hang in there brother, try nofap if that doesn’t work for you you might want to talk to a therapist. And there’s no shame in doing that btw. Also, we are always here on this forum if you should ever need to talk to someone.






QUOTE="Robert.G99, post: 3136073, member: 453087"]I read all of your story and oh man...so many similarities to mine. I watched some weird types of porn over the last 1.5 - 2 years including sissy, gay, trans, gore, snuff, hentai, bestiality etc. which really fu***d up my personality, self-esteem and overall my all identity.

I'm confused about my sexuality at this point thinking that I might be bisexual, but in reality I'm not into men or doing anything with one. I didn't have or used any sex toys like you, but at one point I wanted to and after a while I snapped to reality and thought logically. I don't want this and I will never do it. I had thoughts about being raped or being a female, but there were just thoughts and that's what will remain. It's weird because this happens for about 6 months only. And oh yeah, I'm 22 by the way. Because of porn and low self-esteem I didn't had sex or a girlfriend. I want to, but porn and what happened in the last 6 months has been a wall in front of me.

I just want my old life back, my old self. I feel like an alien in my own body, it's very weird. I'll try to go 100 days hard mode till 28 of December and God I hope everything will at least turn into good. I became suicidal and my mental health is at a point break, so I need this change in my life...and if it will not happen...at least I know what ot do.

Thank you for sharing this story![/QUOTE]

 

If I am being honest I do not have any interest in becoming a sissy I tend to be fairly rugged and masculine about the majority of the time but I have desires to be more feminine with women. There's just something about the opposite sex that brings out my softer side and tends to make me more "effete" as a result. So I'd say I have a borderline sissy fetish rather than full blown. Ideally I'd like to save the macho side for public and the bros and the Effie for the woman I am with but Idk Maybe it'd be best if I tried to abstain from this desire.

 

it may be a fantasy that is a turn off for the woman, that's what I'm thinking at least, but I don't know. I'm pretty sure its a turn off to most women and if she's into it - maybe she just wants to use your weakness to her favor lol (like sexting online is an obvious trap)

 

Shoot, Whelp I guess I should work on cutting out my soft side altogether then and Just be macho 24/7. No emotions or soft side right?

 

So I am not a sissy for wanting to be more feminine around women? Or take part in feminine activities while being alone with a woman?

 

Well... Okay this is where the potential sissy fetish comes in. I really wouldn't mind if a woman asked me to wear guyliner on our dates or I wouldn't mind at all if she wanted to paint my toenails and my lady finger. (My left pinkie finger is shorter then my right pinkie finger hence the name lady finger.) Or watch a chick flick with her as long as we got to watch an action movie or play a co-op video game with me. Or if we tried flirting or kissing she'd ask "Babe are you blushing?!" "That so cute!!!" Or maybe just spend a little time playing with her hair. Or painting all of her nails, or Just watching her as she does a little fashion show for me. But I wouldn't let it go too far and become a full blown sissy myself. This is what I mean by feminine.

 

No, well... Okay, I watch one video of trans porn [On Accident] and that's when I realized it was time to stop watching porn altogether I figured I was getting into unchartered water with that stuff. But other than that not really anything else to do with that sort of lifestyle. Never got into dresses, panties sissy hypno, or forced feminization. All this being said, I did have a phase where I was interested in Chastity (For NoFap purposes only) but never really got turned on by it.

 

I can agree with this one, Dark sex is to be enjoyed by adults only. Not for teenagers.

 

Just two problems here, the first is I am interested in converting to Catholicism so not sure premarital sex is a good thing.
Second problem is how am I supposed to meet new people when I am stuck at home because of The Coof? Well I am allowed out of the house when my parents permit it. But I think it would be a good Idea to get a place of my own before meeting women. If and when The Coof ever ends.

 

I've never watched sissy porn, but I still find your story compelling.
I wish you all the best for the future!

 

Omg it's tagged like a porn site wtf