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is 90 days enough for 8 years daily addiction ?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Adam_99, Oct 5, 2021.

  1. Adam_99

    Adam_99 Fapstronaut

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    So as you are reading guys, I'm 22 and have been PMOing for 8 years. 3-5 times a day non stop. I'm currently doing my longest streak right now which is
    (( day 50 of
    NoFap hard mood and Semen Retention ))

    But i'm wondering, is 90 days really good number to consider myself cured ? because I still have the wish to watch P sometimes (although I didn't)

    To help you more for giving me feedbacks ..

    - I have morning wood since day 7.
    - I had about 5 or 6 Wet dreams.
    ( almost every week or 10 days since I begin the streak).
    - I only eat healthy and exercise 3-5 times a week

    The wet dreams that I've had, is that I masturbate not having sex

    Also one more thing .. I AM VIRGIN and never tried having SEX before . Can i date women and have sex while my streak won't be ruined ? if not , what is the best time to do

    thanks
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2021
    Revanthegrey and silex_jedi like this.
  2. Sex is not considered ruining your "streak". Real sex is promoted. That's the goal of NoFap - to abstain from porn and masturbation but to have healthy sex with a woman is the goal.
     
    AuwL0ng and Ogikubo like this.
  3. Adam_99

    Adam_99 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the feedback. Yes you're right, Good Sex is the goal of NoFap. But, I can't have sex unless I make sure that am cured 100% , otherwise my performance at it would be like any other addicted person and I will fail because of PIED / ED and other stuff

    Although I haven't had sex before, so I can't know what my problems would be when I will do it in future.
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2021
  4. silex_jedi

    silex_jedi Fapstronaut

    your counter is set to "No Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm"... you'll have to change the rules you apply to yourself, or have "non orgasmic sex" which IS a thing !
     
  5. Then I would suggest that you see it as a wonderful experience that awaits you. Don't worry! Sure, you can wait or maybe you have to wait. But that's not the point. When it happens it will be super-exiting and even if the first time will not be perfect that's perfectly fine as well.

    I think in recovery casual sex can be a problem. But prolonging and prohibiting sex (as well as controlling your partner) can also pose an issue, Sure, rebooting first and having healthy sex afterwards is the ideal. But we also have to be realistically and be human in a human world ...
    But for you, Adam, no need to overthink it. Just do your recovery right and socialize. At one point you should start to approach girls, I think. Or at least be open to let a woman in your life. The rest will happen on it's own.
    You're doing great!!!
     
    Ogikubo and silex_jedi like this.
  6. Good work, man. You are on the right track. But there is no magic cure or set number of days. For example, I have found for me that it can be seasonal - no pmo for months, and then I relapse like it was my job.
    Don't sweat the sex thing. Although it may not be fashionable, you cannot go wrong by truly getting to know a girl before you have sex with her. From what I hear, there are a lot of horrible guys out there now who may not be addicted to porn, but they treat their sexual partners like shit from what they have seen in porn. Don't be like those jerks. Stay healthy and stay away from porn.
     
  7. Very sensible! Well said.
     
  8. Adam_99

    Adam_99 Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, but I think you misunderstand me.

    No one said that I wanna go back to P and to the things that I used to do before, I just asking whether I'm in a good status to jump directly into dating thing or wait more

    And about the PIED thing, I'm not sure cause I haven't tried sex and see what's going on, all I know is that I get full erections without P when I see hot girls on the street
     
  9. Adam_99

    Adam_99 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, But what I mean is ....

    will changing my counter mood effect healing or not
     
    silex_jedi likes this.
  10. Adam_99

    Adam_99 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks brother for the good comment.

    like you said, the more I wait the more it gets exiting and become better and better, and I agree with you on the casual sex issue , Hookups isn't the thing that I'm looking for, I want a sex with feelings and with a person I know before, admire and love.

    I know first time as a virgin sucks, because of the lack of experience and becoming nervous and might not be good .. cause of the high expectations due to what I saw in P for 8 years and the dopamine levels that effected my mind

    this why I' wondering should I start dating and let women be in my life or wait more.
     
  11. Adam_99

    Adam_99 Fapstronaut

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    YEAH THAT IS THE MAIN SUBJECT OF THE WHOLE THREAD

    HOW MANY DAYS, WEEKS AND MONTHS SHOULD I WAIT AND CONSIDER MY SELF HEALED. CAUSE I'M NEW AT THIS AND NEED WHO TELL ME
     
  12. Adam_99

    Adam_99 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks dude, I appreciate all the support you said,
     
    Ogikubo likes this.
  13. I think you are going to be just fine, bro!
     
  14. konpap_

    konpap_ Fapstronaut

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    What matters is the easiness of controlling the urges. If somebody is on day 200 without PMO and get erected every time he sees a woman's foot , it means that he has not managed to overcome it yet. In contrast, if somebody is on day 20 and he feels that he can control the urges, it means that he is in a good way. Of course we cannot make them totally dissapear, but there are many levels between addiction and total control. So in order to determine if we are free from PMO, we should evaluate 3 variables: Frequency of sexual thoughts, intensity of sexual thoughts and how fast we put them out of our mind.
     
    TakeruSato likes this.
  15. PegasusKid

    PegasusKid Fapstronaut

    I think its a little too black and white to really count on a certain number of days to consider yourself cured and will probably only harm you in the long run if you keep aiming for a certain amount of days. Its a lifestyle choice, not a specific point that you hit and boom you're done. If someone went 500 days without pmo, how do you point at which day they were "cured" and they were pretty much guaranteed to go the rest of the way easily? It could've been after a month or two months or maybe not for six months. I can't tell you whether or not to have sex but a lot of people on this forum are anti-sex out of fear of what could happen if they have sex and the whole semen retention thing which is just a complicated beast on it's own, so just keep in mind a lot of the answers you get will lean towards that. Logically having an actual sexual relationship would make you go to porn less, but not everyone responds like that so the only way to know would be to have sex. If you go to porn for escapism and not necessarily a sexual release, a relationship might not change much.
    You pretty much answered your own question here. Easiest way to have problems in the bedroom is fearing you're going to have problems in the bedroom. Its not like you can just snap your fingers and have a partner anyways(unless you're paying for it) so a lot will happen before sex anyways. If you're getting morning wood and having wet dreams that would suggest physically everything down there works fine. Don't obsess over nofap because that defeats the purpose, its something you're leaving behind, not something to define how you enjoy your life.
     
  16. ElderStatesman

    ElderStatesman Fapstronaut

    To make this simple, the answer is: “No, 90 days is not enough.”

    In fact, addicts don’t get “cured.” We are “in recovery.” The temptation is always there for us, begging you to relapse. I have a different number needed, and it’s called “forever.”

    Sounds too idealistic or undoable? I can only speak from my experience as a long time addict. Short term goals don’t cut it. Unfortunately, I haven’t often been successful, but, believe me, I know what failure looks like.
     
  17. WelcomeToReality

    WelcomeToReality Fapstronaut

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    It's not how much day you nofap. It's what you think about watching porn. If you want to watch porn, then your not cure, and day count might not cure it also. It's more in your psychology then how long your streak. I had porn addiction from age 13 to 24 when I got wife I stop watching porn automaticly, but since brainwashing was there in been hooked again at age 27 to 30, now after several relapses I'm sure for life I don't watch it. I feeling like "Why I should watch it" . Until you thinking " I need to not watch porn" your not cured. You cured when you simply have no wanting to do that.
     
  18. TheLightOne

    TheLightOne Fapstronaut

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    Yes for me with 18 years addiction it worked.
     

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