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P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Fenix Rising, May 12, 2019.

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  1. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    What is the big danger with taking benzos now and then btw? I take them if I have important meetings etc. I avg 5mg a week probably
     
  2. The guy who had mentioned benzos is 41 days into recovery and PAWS can last 2+ years. There is a very real danger of dependency in using benzos to ease the effects of PAWS if it lasts that long.
     
    UWSDave likes this.
  3. Sylveon389

    Sylveon389 Fapstronaut

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    Two therapists helped me through porn and masturbation.
     
  4. UWSDave

    UWSDave Fapstronaut

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    Check out the Benzo Buddies forum. Really scary stuff. PAWS from PMO seems to be extremely similar to severe benzo withdrawal in a lot of ways, so if you’re someone who was susceptible to kindling from PMO then you’re probably at high risk for protracted benzo PAWS.
     
  5. Monkeyboyab2c

    Monkeyboyab2c Fapstronaut

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    Yeah the stories of Benzo PAWS terrify me. @humbleone do you find any change in the severity of your PAWS symptoms a few days after use? I only ask because I’m curious how other substances effect this whole nightmare. I had a little too much to drink the other day 1 beer and 1 glass of whisky, (I know I’m a pathetic lightweight these days) and it threw me deep deep into paws for over a week now. I haven’t felt this bad in a while.
     
  6. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    I am currently having this exact experience. Last week I was asked on a date and decided to go ahead. Naturally it turned into a whirlwind of drinking and I realised I had gotten complacent and let my guard down. I managed 4 drinks and basically hit a wall. It’s been 8 days since and while things aren’t as bad as the start and I feel as though I am recovering, I am still in a flatline. Currently waiting for the 14 day mark to see if things lift.
     
  7. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    I used valium mostly to sleep, once a week or twice a month if Im tired but can't sleep I take half a valium. Or say if I have a pressured meeting at work.

    I dont personally notice any side effects nor find them addictive personally. For my first 18months of PAWS I didn't use them, but wish I had in certain situations. I don't want to advise people to start taking benzos as they can be highly additive, like Im sure if you start using them daily or close to this could be seriously dangerous and problematic
     
  8. Humanexperiments

    Humanexperiments Fapstronaut

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    I went out two weekends ago and had 7 0,5 l beers + around 8 drinks. Way to much. The drinking culture where I live is very bad, and binge drinking is the normal for guys my age unfortunately.... It definitely has a negative impact on the brain chemistry for many days after. I hope it doesnt hinder the reboot though, since its not really affecting the sex centers in the brain like porn.
     
  9. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    I'll be honest, the excessive drinking that took place last week may have been a positive tip for my reboot. It has made me realise how complacent I have become over the past few weeks. After feeling a lot better in recent weeks, I have started to slowly, gradually go back to some of my old activities, almost believing I have crossed the finish line, when in actual fact I still have some way to go.

    Realising this, I decided to tighten things up a bit by going to bed no later than 11pm every night. Cutting out unnecessary phone usage and internet browsing, as well as taking a step back from music for a bit. The result over the last 8 days has been extremely positive, to the point where despite knowing I am in a flatline, mentally I am a lot sharper than I have been for a very long time. I am just hoping that at the 2-week mark this current flatline lifts. I think if it does, it will be a good indication that I am still on the mend, and that the recent drinking hasn't been too much of a negative hit on the reboot.

    A quick question from me @Humanexperiments - what are your current PAWS symptoms. How did you know that it was the alcohol that was having a negative affect on your recovery?
     
    Dave G 123 likes this.
  10. Humanexperiments

    Humanexperiments Fapstronaut

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    Im not sure how alcohold impacts the reboot. It definitely impacts the brain for many days after if you drink a lot though, so I try not to drink too often. Basically the PAWS symtpoms feel worse than normal, and I get horrible anxiety.

    I have most of the PAWS symptoms like depression, anxiety, brain fog, cognitive impairment, low libido, very few emotions, and the list goes on. Even though I have «everything» I feel like I have nothing. Life feels meaningless and awful, but the hope of recovering keeps me going. Im closing in on 3 years no porn, but not hardmode. MO only a handful of times over a year ago, to see how it would impact me.
     
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  11. Dave G 123

    Dave G 123 Fapstronaut

    Hey, 3 years is really good going. What are your energy levels like at this stage?
     
  12. Humanexperiments

    Humanexperiments Fapstronaut

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    Thanks mate. Energy levels are not too good. Im deep in paws and have to force myself to do most things.
     
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  13. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    Just want to say regarding the getting complacent, that happened to me around 15-16 months mark, and I ended up relapsing on and off for next 6 months, stay strong all the way to the finish line, if such a thing even exists

    I'm currently 5 weeks monk mode. This year my total time so far is 5 months monk mode and 5 months intermittently dating, sex and mo, and some pmo.

    Some basic timeframes are

    March 2019 - November 2019 - monk mode (circa 8 months)
    November 2019 - one off 24hrs sex with girl and alcohol/cocaine (1 day)
    November 2019 - October 2020 - 90% monk mode, 10% hard mode with about 4 weeks of sexting/tinder (no mo or pmo, no orgasm at all) (circa 10/11 months)
    October 2020 - December 2020 - multiple sexual partners (maybe 5-6), pmo, tinder etc etc
    January 2021 - April/May 2021 - monk mode (circa 4 months)
    May 2021 - August 2021 - intermittent pmo, sex, mo, dating, p-subs
    Sep 21 - now - monk mode (circa 5 weeks)

    Just want to say every time I go back anywhere near sexuality I get sucked back in like a magnet. The above timeframes are rough and from memory, would have to go over my posts to get 100% accurate timframe.

    Overall I feel as though if I go 6+ month streak Ill get to the best place since starting this journey. Will close this year out with 6months or 50% monk mode

    Everytime I go back to sexuality, it gets dark pretty quick, in every sense of the word. Everything changes, my thoughts, perspectives, paradigms, emotions, symptoms. Really is dangerous, and advise anyone reading to use my data to learn from my journey
     
  14. Humanexperiments

    Humanexperiments Fapstronaut

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    Ive come to a point in life where I would rather die than relapse to porn, and I really mean it.

    I dont count sex as a relapse, but it most likely slows down recovery. For me masturbation feels like a waste of time, and just short term pleasure. I have experimented with it many times in previous reboots. Its also to close to PMO for my liking. «Real og no deal»

    I look forward to posting my recovery story in the future, hopefully around the 3-3,5 year mark :)
     
  15. WhitePanther

    WhitePanther Fapstronaut

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    I'm now on 5 months and 2 weeks.

    My life has totaly changed for the better so much. I have small periods of PAWS with depression but they get smaller and smaller in frequency. However I have recently started to integrate tantra/taoist philosophy regarding my sexuality and last night i'm watching a online course regarding this. There was no genitals or interrcourse but people with very little clothes demonstrating techniques etc.

    After just watching a total of 3 minutes I could feel my dopamin receptors flooding me with dopamin the same ways when I used to watch my porn binges. I turned it off.

    Today I woke up and have had the worst depressive day I can recall. Insomnina all night, anxiety through the roof and brainfoog. Somehow I'm scared that I just threw almost 6 months rebooting out of the window because of this. Seriously 3 minutes of not even direct pornography, it goes to show how unbelivable sensitive our neural pathways are when rebooting.

    I just had to get this off my chest. Today has been a really frustrating day and alot of sadness. I wish you all the best beating this addiction. It really has been one of the biggest struggles of my life.

    All the best,
    W
     
    Brain Fog, fusion47, AuwL0ng and 3 others like this.
  16. Dave G 123

    Dave G 123 Fapstronaut

    I've done similar things. I don't think you have thrown away 6 months of recovery; maybe a little setback that might affect you for a week or two. The main thing is that you saw the problem and did something about it - that was what I would classify as a "bloody victory" rather than a defeat.
     
  17. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    Dont ever think that watching 5 minutes of x, or 10 minutes or y resets 6 months of abstinence.

    I have relapsed enough now to know the impact. You will essentially feel like shit, like you did in the beginning for a few days or a week tops, but then you are back to where you were before you 'relapsed'. This refractory period gets quicker and quicker, to the point I assume when you're healed this is basically 0
     
    gangstaLjos and WhitePanther like this.
  18. Monkeyboyab2c

    Monkeyboyab2c Fapstronaut

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    This is just a general question for everyone? What are some of the crazy thoughts that float around your head when you are in the middle of a wave that seem like total nonsense when you are out of one? I’ve gone from points of complete and total nihilism to being certain that reality was going to unravel right in front of me. For me they seem to go way beyond negative self talk. Just wondering what your guy’s experience has been like.
     
  19. wfcasdvwervdsv

    wfcasdvwervdsv Fapstronaut

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    I feel absolutely rotten after my recent relapse. I'd actually forgot how bad it can get but now I'm feeling it again. It feels as through I've wiped out any recovery from my 13 month streak, but I really hope that this horrible feeling is temporary and I will get back to where I was before I relapsed. I'll probably give it a month and if it still feels I'm at the start, I might have to go on an antidepressant because I can't deal with another 13 months + like that without any relief in-between.
     
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  20. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    Interesting I have the reality unravel infront of me feeling, as though Im going to collapse into nothingess
     

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