The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 3 complete.

Another busy weekend with friends and family.

 

42/90
This time I'll make it to the 90

@newbobido shit man you're really not doing so great are you? Is there anything we can do for you? I think the best advice ever given on this board was the post from @Redemptionisrequired about "pulling out the roots", you know, the analogy with the tree. Maybe someone can dig out the post?

Edit:
Found it: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...overcoming-pmo-addiction.313854/#post-3075569

 

Hi, I'd like to join new, I don't know if I have to wait to be accepted into the challenge, so I'll just start posting here.
Day 3 and tired of being an Orc.

 

I eat fruit daily but not too much because of sugar. Quinua I do, rice and bread too but a little and not in all meals. Potatoes too. But I try not to eat many Carbohidrates.

I've tried many diets and I studied about nutrition since I'm 10 years old, I went vegan for 20 years. I experimented with different diets and fasting all my life.

In the book the tao of health, sex and longevity by Daniel Reid he talks about diet and gives good tips.

Also learning about calories, figuring out your caloric daily needs. Experimenting with different foods and how you feel afterwards.

Right now I'm cutting so I eat very little. That is one of the reasons I stop being vegan I needed to eat a lot to get all my protein and more digestive work with all the fiber.

Maybe I go back to vegan in some years. For me food is an austerity practice, I don't like to eat very seasoned food and I rarely eat food that is not prepared home.

So it's important to know your body how it responds to different type of foods, to study about nutrition. And most importantly see food as health not just enjoyment of the palate.

 

491 days high king
560 days semen retention

 

I relapsed last night just before bed. I was very very tired and unfortunately got triggered by something during this time and I started fishing for more triggers without realising because I was so tired. By the time I realised what I was doing I was already past the threshold. I need to go to bed when my body tells me to instead of fighting it even if I think it might be too early to go to bed yet.

 

96 days

 

Guys I relapsed, ending my 67 days semen retention streak and 41 days NoFap streak.
This was my highest streak.
Now I will break my own record.
Wishing you all luck on your nofap journey.

 

Too bad my friend, at least don't binge go out and play some sports to have some healthy dopamine so less need to PMO.

 

Dopamine detox and end of fasting

I just finished my 2 day fast. It was a bit more difficult than the 7 day fast. I think it's got to do I have now less fat, I'm very ripped so the body doesn't have a lot of room to take energy from fat stores.

I reintroduced food with a mango and a carrot extract juice. I realiced it's more easy to break the fast with high healthy fructose foods because it gives inmediate source of energy with little digestion. Then I ate an omelette and I'm about to eat chicken.

I'm not fully in my body but I'm close.

I'm going full dopamine detox, no internet unless to write here in nofap, for studies and no music.

Even with my long streak I still find useful the accountability in the challenges and to clear my thoughts regarding life.

I have to get ready for the surgery the vasectomy and even do it's an ambulatory procedure it's still a surgery and in my genital area. That can unbalance my energetic body and I want to have the less impact possible because of the procedure.

So until surgery I'll try to be as healthy, mindful and spiritual as I can get.

But right now I'm resting, maybe I'll watch a movie eating my chicken and later I'll go out to the park to do some movement practice and a little running and calisthenics. I want my mind and body to be rested and balanced after this fast it's almost 10 day fast in the last 14 days.

On Wednesday I have the appointment with the doctor to see when the surgery is going to be done.

 

Day 258 no PMO.

 

Day 14. Feeling some urges today but overall things have been good. The urges have been more controllable this time around since doing my 210-day hard reset. Looking forward to day 20

 

Day 114

 

Day 12

 

Still spiraling. Still lost.

I’ve tried to list stuff I “should” do, but it feels wrong.

I feel like I’m playing the part of a man who is doing NoFap and not truly becoming a man who simply do not watch porn.
I think my biggest problem is that I’ve made a list of reasons to watch and reasons not to watch porn. And I don’t have a good answer to the statement: “this feels better than literally anything else in the world, this is pure bliss and PMO can make time and space disappear while I am in nirvana with my dick in my hand”.

This is pathetic. But it is the truth. When I had the time there were many PMO sessions that took hours at a time. I didn’t feel like I needed to eat or drink or piss or anything else except to click the next link.

I know that my mind is broken, I feel like that rat that had an electrode placed in his brain that stimulated his dopamine when he clicked a button, and he just did it until he died because that feeling is literally better than life itself.

And even when I know all of that I can’t face up to the fact that even though it is ruining my life, I still love it. I don’t know what other hobby or feeling would ever be strong enough to replace it or what else could I do.

Thank you @Christoph108, I will read that post as soon as I could actually focus on something… fucking brain fog.

 

Good day, fellas!

I've been out for some days to search for my lost big reasons why I decided to put myself in this recovery processes. I needed some days off and what I did was not care about streaks or anything, but only put my mind on its place.

I had a good time reconciliating with God, which is indeed my biggest reason by far. Also, I had the opportunity to look at myself as an outsider viewer, and that was very important for me to point the things that were going bad.

Through that week, I installed blockers in my devices, which has been working for a while, but didn't stop me from M a couple days ago. Actually, that last one I didn't even count as a relapse, but just a reset, since it was without P and very quick, and it ended up not making me feel like crap. Of course, it's not good to fall for this, but it's a lot "less worse" than going all the down edging with P. And the proof I saw from that is that I indeed didn't feel that bad after that reset.

In conclusion, I think now I'm ready to get back to recovery with all my mind and soul, but don't expect me to be frequently present in here, because my PC blocker software blocks the nofap forum, and I won't uninstall it for it's working pretty well, so I'm logging in my phone. Also, I found an app that's really useful, with lots of resources. I recommend you to check it up: Men Don't Fap

Good luck to us all!

 

This is the accountable bot of @icebreaker polarstern. We hit an iceberg category 7! //REPORT// major relapse on 6/11 -- //REPORT// major relapse on 6/11 -- //REPORT// major relapse on 6/11 -- //REPORT// major relapse on 6/11

What's going on?
I put my password in a digital chest box with a counter, so I have to wait for 18 more days until I can login back with my account.
(Quite an extreme measure, isn't it? But it's a useful tool! For example you could block porn on your device with a software and lock away the master password in the this thing, the name is webcountdown and it's free (just google it, the system doesn't want me to sneak a link in here) - ask me if you want to know how to use it as a time locker for a message / password)

My time out was very productive and I was in fact clean on most of the days. But I'll report in more detail when I'm officially back and hopefully by then I'll have a rank again.

By the way, I haven't wlan at home. It sucks a little bit but for me that is just THE WAY. I don't know how long I need to recover before I can handle fast unrestricted internet at home again. But what's for sure, that time hasn't come yet and it's still a long way.

So yesterday I snapped. I was at the house of a family member but alone. The only reason I went there was that I wanted to finish some to dos on my list and I needed internet for that. Actually it's more complicated than that, let's just say, it wasn't really necessary to go there, so it was questionable from the beginning.
So I sit there, on my computer, all alone and with time on my hands and of course the "normal" thing to do in such a situation for me is to go on a porn site. So although I don't have a craving, porn is already on my mind. I thought I could withstand, I looked in my spreadsheet to motivate me, I came here and looked what you guys were writing but nothing more.
The craving was actually very small and creepy. Beforehand I had thought of the porn site I used to frequent and the recent porn games that gave me quite a rush. So of course the thought popped up "(despite the recovery) why not have a short visit on that porn game site? Hmm ... - how about noo?! But then suddenly it clicked and without anymore thinking I just typed in the name of the site and clicked enter.

How can be so naive? Or how can addiction make us so stupid? With a little foreseeing it would be clear what had to follow.
What did I want to do on the site? Did I plan to play the games or not? Did I plan to edge while playing or just get a little aroused from it and then go back? The answer is I didn't plan anything, I didn't draw a line, I knew it was wrong, I knew it was stupid. But somehow I EXPECTED to come out of this relatively quick and more or less unharmed.
The reality was, I played some games a little and I edged until I wanted to do pmo. Then I left the games and started to hunt for hardcore porn. I downloaded roughly 60 minutes of video and then I went home ...
I also drank a beer which I normally don't do. I think I did it to better indulge into this full mess.

Well, it happened. I can't change it anymore. Today I deleted all the video and now I'm back on track.
But I wanted to make this relapse report. It's important for me to learn from this mistake and go on.

 

Not only did I break a long streak and damage my recovery but I also neglected my schedule AND I broke a boundary because I used someone elses wlan to watch and download p. Not that I would usually respect such a boundary when the addiction is calling, but I try to.

However, I don't want to get too negatively. For a moment it felt as if I had absolutely messed up but here the spreadsheet comes into play. I can't emphasize enough how useful and motivating such a spreadsheet is. Let me give you a little example:

Day 1 - no porn - 100% (porn free)
Day 2 - no porn - 100%
Day 3 - no porn - 100%
Day 4 - looked at porn - 75%
Day 5 - no porn - 80%
Day 6 - no porn - 83%
Day 7 - no porn - 86%

This way you put your relapses into perspective. A relapse is still a relapse (it feels terrible) but at least in a spreadsheet you can see your progress over time, while a counter suggests that after a relapse your recovery (and your life?) would be only "single-digit" - I hope you know what I mean.