The Lord of the Rings Challenge

43 days
This time I'll make it to the 90

 

Day 115

 

Day 8 completed, Uruk once again!

 

Day 259 no PMO. I volunteered at the church yesterday and that always puts me in a good mood. The boss at church also asked me to do a more important job so I’m excited to get started on that soon. Most of the jobs at my church are fairly easy because they need untrained people to perform the jobs. I have been searching for someone to give me a “hard” job for a while because I feel I have so much more to offer than the easy jobs they normally give me. Great day overall. No urges. I have been eating lots of junk food over the last week or so and I need to get that under control. My weight is gradually climbing which will eventually mess up my self esteem which could eventually contribute to a relapse in PMO so I need to get that under control. Have a great day everyone.

 

Being vegan won't give you super powers

 

Day 8, uruk-hay. Spell of porn really decreased.

 

Nazgûl again, the discipline and the determination are simply not there at the moment. Otherwise, life is not too bad, things are progressing slowly but steady.

 

Day 0 - Nazgûl again

I messed up big time last night. Started viewing at 9PM and did not stop until around 11:30PM. It ended with PMO to P-subs, but still, the moment sucked. I have this rule on no devices after 8PM for a reason, but I was talking to my best friend until 8:30PM on the phone and so I did not put them away when the alarm went off. Well, ready to go again. NNN does not have to be a waste though, I can still get 22 days out of it.

I intended to shower and journal last night, but instead I PMO'd. Well, all I can do is improve. I suppose all we really can do is to fail forward. If we make an improvement each time we relapse, etc, we will be so much better off.

Nothing much else to say.
Best,
Mathman1994

 

492 days high king
561 days semen retention

 

Day 19 - Hobbit

Celebrated my birthday this weekend! Meant to post at least once but didn’t get around to it. Had Korean corn dogs for the first time with a group of friends Saturday night, they were delicious. One of my friends brought cupcakes as well. I intentionally ate less earlier in the day to make up for the extra calories, but I still ate too much lol. We watched a fandub of the game Until Dawn on YouTube which was super fun. Yesterday I spent a lot of the day reading, I’m still on The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. I’m chipping away at it, day by day.

I had the strongest urge to MO last night. I was in bed already, and there wasn’t any buildup, it was immediate and strong. Something about birthdays and holidays always makes me melancholic. This time last year I was in a depression that was spiraling downward, mostly because of a shitty work situation. I’m feeling a bit better this morning, still going to have to deal with my annoying coworker today, but I’m happy to have a job now that doesn’t stress me the fuck out. I just gotta focus on my work and get done what I can get done. Today will be a good day. Today will be a bad day. It’s all in how you look at it.

Please send prayers as I battle more urges in the next few days, I think it’s going to be rough for a while. Going to try to get back on track with eating healthy and exercising daily, this weekend’s celebrations threw me off. Much love brothers, hope you’re day is good

 

Day 17

 

Day 13

 

Day 22 on my path of reboot.

 

Day 0

 

Thanks @RiseToGreatness! This resonates, perhaps because being unable to say No to others is rooted in seeking approval from others. The Stoics have some really good stuff on this, e.g. :

 

Today is the first day in 7 days that the deep dark rings under my eyes, from the last relapse, went away
This week will be a low dopamine week, which I will counteract with cold water dips in the sea