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Reframing thoughts

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Coolbreeze, Oct 15, 2021.

  1. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    upload_2021-11-14_9-14-45.png

    Also, there is the thing that confuses me a little because I went on to meet a girl for two times now and I cannot be sure whether this is romantic or friendly. I know she keeps making physical contact and suggested we go out for dinner sometime this week. Nonetheless, she is here only for a year and means she will go back to her native country by the end of this school period. In any case, she is a nice person, I love meeting her, and it would be great to just go with the vibe and see what happens. I should keep in mind that this is not the moment to get heavily invested into a romantic relationship. I am in a busy period of my life, waiting for my thesis assessment and after I graduate looking for / starting a new job. That is not to say I do not open myself, but I at least want to take things step by step if it does come to a romantic relation. It feels a little weird and awkward to rationally analyze a romantic situation, but it is never bad to have a healthy attitude and remain realistic, so that one doesn't become overwhelmed by thoughts that make no sense.
     
  2. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    Negative thought: I do not feel confident enough to have interesting conversations in the gym

    The thing is that I will always naturally vibe better with some than with others. In any case, I do not need to prove anything in the gym and the most important thing is that I have a good time and get my exercises done. I also feel like some people are not in the mood to talk to me because I am not on their level of energy.

    First of all, I am confident enough to chat people up not only in the gym, but also on parties and other social events. I am able to confidently chat up girls during a party for example. Then, why would it be a problem to chat up with some friend in the gym? A key aspect in this might be that I search for some sort of validation from them, but the question is do I really need that? I cannot think of any reason why I would need to prove myself to anyone in the gym. But I do think the feeling is there a little bit because I feel that as I get bigger and stronger, I do not fit very much in this gym. It feels like people are looking at me like I do not belong here because I am too strong. Well, I am still very social and have a lot of friends so it does feel kind of good to be at this particular gym. I even have some really close friends. The fact is that we are all different, nobody is perfect and if I enjoy being in this gym, then by all means I should continue working out there.

    When I was talking to the girl I met yesterday we were having a really personal conversation and exchanged a little of how we viewed each other when we met for the first time. She told me that I seem like a quiet and calm person and I for some reason tend to take this as a negative thing. It is as if I need to talk more because if I do not talk much I will not be interesting enough. But the fact is that you are probably going to be an even more interesting person if you talk less, so there is no real logical explanation for my thought. I can still be confident, good looking, attractive and have many other positive traits while not being very talkative. But on the other hand, there is also the thing that I do have moments where I talk a lot and so this is kind of contradictory to what my thoughts are telling me. So I do have a lot of positive traits, like I think I am handsome. I am rather muscular and without too much fat. I have a beard, which a lot of guys would love to have. I am good at being compassionate and a good listener. These are all personality traits that I should be proud of and to be honest, if I sometimes do not speak much, how big of a problem is that really? On a side note, if there is a topic or conversation that really interests me or makes me passionate then I do tend to talk or engage in conversation a lot.

    Another thing is that I still have some stuttering sometimes, and it feels like I am unable to speak up with confidence. I feel like as a result I speak more quietly and people notice this and feel weird about me. The thing is that this actually does not happen much and if people would notice it they probably would just accept it. We all have insecurities. However, there is no need for me to be so insecure because speaking up is something I regularly do in fact. It might not always be confident, but that is not a realistic goal anyways. In any case, it will get more and more confident the more I practice and accept the fact that I am enough and do not need other people's acceptance to feel good about myself.
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2021
  3. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    Today I actually feel a great sense of anger in my body. It is like I want to explode any moment and this is obviously shown in my communication with family. It feels that especially my dad would easily trigger such a response from me because he is very direct, likes to joke and does not always approach well if someone is bad tempered. In any case I should realize that I am allowed to feel angered. I feel like being on NoFap contributes to this because it makes me feel like being a little on edge. In any case, I should try to figure out the source. It might be that I am a little stressed by me dissertation assessment or the confusion I have with regard to finding a job / running my own business. Also, at the moment I do not really have large amounts of work to do because like I said I ma waiting for my dissertation assessment. I should get that in a couple of days and when I hopefully graduate soon I can then focus on the next step which is finding a job. For now, graduating is the number one priority.
     
  4. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    So today I have been having this thought that I am not confident when chatting to people for work/school related purposes. I feel like I am unable to confidently speak my mind without stuttering. This is a thought that has been coming back for several days if not weeks now and truly there is no reason for me to have this thought. I have all the reason to be a little concerned with how I look to others but the bottom line is that it really does not matter what other people think. It sort of feels as if I am unable to really vocally express myself but the fact is that I do quite well.

    I passed my thesis today and am really happy with the end result. Next week I get to do my presentation/defense and I am a little nervous for it. It is normal to be nervous, but its all positivity in the end so nothing major. I now need to buy some proper clothing for the occasion and plan on going to the shop today. I am a little nervous that I will not be confident when I talk to the people of the shop who will help me but the thing is, why would I be nervous about this? I have literally done so many fucking scary things in my life, like going abroad to live with a new family for two months without speaking their language and more things. These things were so scary but I did them anyway, I overcame them and even managed to feel good throughout the process. If these are things I can do, then how in the world would in be a problem to talk to person in the shop? This is purely based on an unrealistic fear and I will today prove myself that I am so much better than who my thoughts sometimes tell me I am.
     
  5. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    So basically I have found myself to be a little on edge sometimes lately. Today I was playing a bit of video games for about an hour or so and some person went up to me to be funny. I interpreted it as trolling and asked him how old he was, he then got toxic and I can honestly understand that if he did not intend trolling. He told me I was being as ass, and sometimes I think I can take video games a little serious. I believe that in general one of my strengths is taking certain activities very serious. I am actually kind of proud of this because it makes me who I am, although I should know when to easy off a bit with people.

    Another thought I had is that I come across to my family as ungrounded and anxious because I notice some anxiety when I am speaking to my mom or sister for example. What is interesting is that I do not have this when chatting with my brother for instance. First of all I should know that there is literally no need to be anxious when chatting with some of my family members. Although we do sometimes judge each other, we are very supportive in our own ways. But anxiety should come from a situation which is threatening, and these situations are not threatening at all. Am I about to get slaughtered by a lion? No. Am I starving to death because of no food? No. This might be a funny comparison, but it does indicate that there really is no need for anxiety.

    Another thought is that because I am a little anxious, I need to do this and that. For example, I need to meditate, I need to take a cold shower, I need to eat healthy. The thing is that I have been really consistent with my life over the last few months and I generally feel really good. There is no reason to make sudden changes. I do already take cold showers on a regular basis, but I do not meditate much and eat somewhat healthy. I prefer to enjoy my unhealthy food because I just love eating it. On the other hand, I do limit it and eat my vegetables, fruits and drink enough water. To sum this up, there is no need to go for radical changes because I feel a little anxious at the moment.

    Next week I have to defend my thesis and I am a little nervous. In any case, my supervisor told me that it will be all positivity during the presentation and it will be the moment I graduate if I am successful. I have a great thesis which was graded well and therefore it should not pose too many trouble. Also, I should not worry too much about my presentation skills. I used to be part of a presentation group and remember winning a "presenter of the day" award because my presentation was elected the best out of all. I was especially complimented on my open and expressive body language. So, this is all totally doable!
     
  6. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    Another negative thought I have had today is that what I have to say is not important or not interesting enough. For example when we are together with the family of five and everyone is sharing stories. However, I remember that the girl I met last week told me: "Wow, that was a great story" and she obviously really enjoyed my storytelling. The fact is that some people will listen and enjoy what I have to say, while others are going to be less interested. The main takeaway is that I can tell really interesting, funny and immersive stories. The only thing that remains is me having a bit of confidence in myself to actually do that regularly without constantly doubting myself.
     
  7. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    So today I will meet with the girl I have been meeting for a few weeks now. We will grab some dinner together, but she told me she won't be able to stay long because there are things she needs to do for school. My negative thought was that she does not want to spend more time with me, though this is not a very realistic approach to the situation. The fact is that she does want to meet me and instead of cancelling the plans altogether (like some people do), she has decided to notify me that she won't be able to stay long.

    Another thing is that I had a conversation with a guy at the gym and it felt a little awkward talking to him. I guess that not all conversations run as smooth as they could and everyone has a different energy level. There is no need to overthink something as minor as a casual conversation, really. The think that bothers me a bit more is that I have to defend my thesis next week. I am a little nervous, but I do have presenting experience and even won awards with my presentation skills. I might feel like I am not confident enough, but truly I can do this. As other people described me, I am a natural presenter. Now it is time to be myself and ace that presentation!
     
  8. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    This morning I woke up with a bit of anxiety and quite a lot of thoughts about the girl I met yesterday. It appears that our connection is growing deeper every time we meet. What I am referring to is the amount of physical contact. When we said goodbye we kissed each other on the cheek. In any case, what I am trying to describe as well is that I feel some sort of abandonment or loneliness whenever I am not with her. It is not that it completely wrecks me, but I miss being with her. This is a perfectly normal thought if you are starting to be attracted to someone and I don't think I should go against it. I think a lot of people overcompensate or overindulge as a result of not being able to deal with these thoughts. What I should say is that the realistic approach is that I am very well able to be by myself without needing other people (be it parents, family or significant other). To name an example, I spend half a year abroad, and a couple of times a few months abroad and did all of this by myself. That is not to say that I did not miss my family, but I was able to deal with it and keep them in my mind in a loving way. One of my fears is that if I do not actively and aggressively pursue this girl she will walk away, but this is not a realistic thought either. She has indicated during our meeting that she is open to do anything with me, be it sports or other activities. What I am starting to believe is that I need her (or in some cases other people) in order to be happy. But if I can be happy by myself, then why do I need other people? The realistic approach is that yes it does make me feel good and I really enjoy meeting her, but is the key takeaway not that you enjoy it more after not seeing each other for a while? Without going on a massive rant, I should conclude by clearly stating that I am able to be by myself and do my own things and do not need anyone else to make me happy.

    Here is another thought. I am kind of afraid that people judge me when I am shaking because I am nervous. For example, there were times, yesterday, when I was feeling a little nervous/anxious and I could sense that my body just wanted to shake. It is almost as if I become very neurotic and think about everything I am doing, where the best thing to do would be to simply be present in my body. Now, I should now lie because honestly the situation has become a lot better than it was previous years. I come from a rather black hole and today find myself recovered very significantly. My mindset has changed, my body language has changed and I have a much more satisfying social environment. Now I do realize that I would like to go to meetings (with the girl i.e.) without feeling this sensation of shaking in the body, but it is a lot better than it used to be and if I continue on getting more confident and relaxed, then for all I know this feeling will disappear at some point. There is no doubt that I can do these things without being nervous because, as I have described numerous times, there are countless examples of immensely more nervous things I have done in my life. For example, boarding a plane to travel to a foreign country to live with a host family for two months. Was I nervous during that time? Hell yeah. Did I manage to do it anyways? Hell yeah. I clearly should not underestimate my own ability to be confident and relaxed in certain situation. I am obviously capable of much more than my thoughts sometimes tell me.
     
  9. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    The thought has been going through my mind that I am being "used" or "abused" in some mental way. Let me explain. The girl I have been seeing told me that there are two guys from a friend group she of part of that would like to date her. One of these guys even bluntly stated that he would like to have sex with her. Now, I am not sure whether this is something I should bother with. I mean after a few times of meeting her I can say that I am starting to feel a little bit and although I am fairly certain that it is mutual, I am not 100% sure. What bothers me is perhaps that I would like to give her my love, but in the meanwhile she is still hanging out with guys that want to have sex with her. She openly told me that she is not into either of them (physically and mentally speaking) and that does provide a little comfort.

    This brings me to the thought that I am a "nice guy" that will finish last. But am I really a nice guy? I mean, I have had great success with women in the past. I have slept with a lot of women and casual sex is not satisfying for me. Therefore, it is clear that the only real reasons to stay invested would be because I am having a good time with her or if things do grow more romantic. I am a little afraid that I now might start to overthink and over-obsess with her. Perhaps I am even afraid of falling in love because I did get hurt in the past. Whatever the case, there is no need to over-obsess or constantly think about the girl. My life will stay the same and the only aspect is that I can occasionally meet with her which would be fun.

    The real aspect and perhaps fear is also that getting invested into this girl is risky because she is from another country and actually stays here for a year. Out of this year, almost half a year has already passed. Getting too invested is therefore really risky because I know from experience that long distance relationship maintaining is really hard for me personally. Now when I say this it all starts to sound like I am "rationalizing" my love for a human being and that this is bad. But the thing is that this does not mean that I cannot meet her. It just means that I perhaps should take another stance in the situation. Whether or not we become romantically involved, we are still great conversation partners. It still makes her a nice person to hang out with, just with different intentions. Then again, meeting with a girl for me is not something awkward or weird if there is no romantic intention. I am generally open to socialize with either man/woman, it does not matter for me. It is more about how the person behaves than it is about the gender. With that being said, I should most likely adapt my view on the situation a little (a little more realistic).
     
  10. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    This morning when I woke up I did have some anxiety. It feels as if my legs want to share or are getting ready to run from a "threat". But the realistic approach to this is that there is not threat. I am in my comfortable bed, have enough to drink and eat. I am in the company of my loving parents. I have some plans to do work today and also do a workout with friends. All in all, there really is no threat. But I do believe that I have developed (and still am) a strong mindset that can overcome even the greatest challenges.
     
  11. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    Although it is very helpful to re-frame thoughts and be sure that your mind is not becoming your worst enemy, we should also consider the body and muscular armoring. What I have found INCREDIBLY helpful is to let off stress by doing bio-energetic exercises. A lot of the anxiety comes from tension in the body that is not let go. Basically my legs and body want to shake most of the time but we are conditioned by society (family, parents, etc.) to not express our emotions. We need to snap it, be quiet, be respectable and so on. When do we ever fully express who we really are? The exercises I am doing induce tremendous shaking in the body, think of lower back, abdominal area, legs and so on. This shaking is sort of like a form of releasing trauma from the body, as is visible in the animal world too.
     
  12. Julian Baker

    Julian Baker Distinguished Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Great thread. Nice personal development work. Massively impressed!
     
    heaven on earth likes this.
  13. The CBT Automatic Thought thing. Useful.
     
  14. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    I currently find myself a little stressed because I have my dissertation presentation/defense tomorrow. The paper was graded really well but of course the presentation is still an exciting part that I have to complete successfully, before I can graduate. I know I have the presentation skills and confidence to pull it off, and besides that it won't be a death pit because the paper is not close to an insufficient grade.

    What is funny is that although I am very busy with all of these school things, I still carry this girl in my mind a good amount of the time. I have been thinking about her and my thoughts keep speculation that she doesn't want to meet me, that she won't write me first or that she doesn't want to become romantically involved. These are a lot of different thoughts, so let's break it down. First of all, I believe she does want to meet me. She had told me that she enjoys meeting with me. What I do not know, however, is whether she enjoys meeting with me as a friend or potentially as more. From the vibe I have been getting, I think she is down for more, but I could be wrong. Next, I am not sure if she will write me. She suggested to meet me later this week if she feels better. I think the main insecurities I have come from the fact that I am unsure whether she is seriously interested in me or just likes me as a friend. What I should keep in mind that for me it is all about just having a good time and I don't think it matters much if she would not see me as something more than a friend. But I must say that I kind of would like to take the next step with her and if she is not down for that things could get a little complicated. But I am now speculating about a lot of things and I have not even asked her what she thinks. I guess the right thing to do is initiate some physical contact during our next meeting and see how she responds. I know she has been constantly initiating touches and things, which might suggest romantic attraction. What I could do for example is touch her leg or put my hand arms on her shoulder or thighs. It really depends on the situation but this is a great way to really test where we are at. If she is not interested at all she will let me know and things will be clear from then on. If she is fine with it, you know what time it is.
     
  15. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    Since this afternoon I have had some really big thoughts or feelings of loneliness. I have been looking up girls that I can meet because I think this makes me feel more alive. The girl I have been meeting for the last couple of weeks has not (yet) agreed to meet tomorrow and it is as if I need my meetings with her in order to be happy. During our last meeting I feel we really connected intimately through conversation and eye contact and not meeting her for a couple of days sort of makes me feel sad. This is one way of looking at it, but I could also say that the meetings with her have been very pleasurable and that it would be great to meet her again. I am not saying that I am not allowed to feel my emotions, but my feelings of loneliness and sadness are not really based on really negative things. I actually had a great achievement in my life recently and this is all the reason to celebrate and be happy. And the fact that I do not have a girlfriend at the moment can be a real pity, but if I trust my own feelings I am sure I will at some point find the right person to make me happy. A girl I can have incredibly good conversations with and who is also really physically attractive to me. I do think that love is the most powerful energy in the world that can do wonders to someones attitude and happiness, but that doesn't mean that you cannot be happy if you do not have a girlfriend. I have been happy most of the time, even without a girlfriend. So I have recently graduated and am now about to embark on a new journey. Although I am not sure what the journey will look like, I do know that I have to start somewhere and I will eventually find my way.

    After graduating, it is as if I have entered some sort of "void" and I do not know what to do. Should I start my own company? Should I start working at a job? It does feel like I really appreciate being able to do my own thing and be my own "boss". So my preference would then logically be to start something for myself or be a freelancer. Adding to this, it is perfectly normal to feel like you don't know what you want. There is no shame in not knowing exactly what to do after graduating. I believe many students have this thought and the most productive thing is to set aside time to constructively analyze what you really want.

    I feel a little overwhelmed by not knowing what to do next. But the thing is that I don't "NEED TO" to anything. What I would like to do is find an enjoyable job in which I can use my skills. Preferably, also a job in which I can use my language skills. There is no need to be overwhelmed by this as long as I gradually figure out what it is that I want. Once I have figured that out I can start a job. I should be aware that whatever the job is, I will be able to quit it if it is not something that I enjoy.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2021
    heaven on earth likes this.
  16. wicket

    wicket Fapstronaut

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    Wowsers I am worried about making self-help meetings now I can't imagine meeting girls would fix my issues hope it brings you the happy you are after
     
  17. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    I would like to take another five minutes to reflect upon my thoughts of yesterday and today. It appears I have been feeling quite good lately. Only yesterday I noticed some anger, irritation and other emotions that were quite intense. I felt hate or resentment toward my mom who keeps complaining and seeing things in a negative light. This has been a patterns because I in the past even identified with what she is like. One of my thoughts is that I am not confident because my parents (only mom) are not like that either. This is ironic because my dad is actually very confident. Besides, the attitude of someone else doesn't necessarily have to influence me. Of course as she is my mom she will have had impact on my life quite significantly, but the fact I do not consider her to be confident doesn't mean that I cannot be confident. In fact I believe I am very different in terms of view on life, I am open minded, love hearing new stories, confident (as many describe me) and have a lot of other really positive character traits. That doesn't mean that my mom does not have positive traits, but I seem to be particularly focused on the negative. This should not be the case because in fact my mom has many really amazing traits as well, like very caring, loyal and so on.

    Another thought is that I graduated and will not be confident in my "next" job. Well, it is normal that the first weeks of a new job are a little nervous, exciting and hard. However, as you progress you generally become more confident in what you do and if the job is something you really enjoy, then all is good! It just seems that worrying over these things is normal, but highly unnecessary. I should stop doing it because its not productive.

    Speaking of my confidence, I aced my thesis defense with a super high grade. This was one of the things I was so extremely nervous about and I still did it. This shows me that I am so much better than my thoughts sometimes tell me.
     
  18. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    Another thought I have been having is that I am not energetic and enjoyable company for other people. I think I actually am a very energetic person, but not at all times. It would be easy for me to blame this on my surroundings, family and so on because they are not always the type of people to give me energy. However, sometimes these people do give me energy, it is just that I would need some other stimulation to become energetic, if that makes sense. So I might not always be very energetic, but I am surely a very sociable and energetic person in most cases. Anyways, I guess that with the right activities (work and so on) I can be more energetic consistently. Another factor that could be improved is food. Now this is not to say that I need to change, because I believe I am good enough as I am today, but there is always room for improvement and it is healthy to recognize this and want to positively change.

    So one of the thoughts is that I am by nature not an energetic or exciting person. The truth however is that a lot of people are interested to know how my life is going and will regularly check up on me to see how I am and so on. Also, whenever I have like an important thing such as a presentation I am able to convey my message with extreme confidence and energy. I also have the energy to go to the gym like let’s say five times a week, which is remarkable. I seem to be anxious about not being energetic enough, but here I am going to the gym almost every day and still pushing myself to the limits most of the times. I am just a very energetic person and have a lot of this mindset that pushes me beyond what most others will do. One example of this is when I am lifting weights and can see that they are obviously too light, then I will not stay idle and remain with it, but rather pick up a heavier set because I will not accept going too light. This is not being strict on myself, but much rather a passion for going to the limits! If I can go to the limits in social situations, how would this translate itself? I am just a very energetic person and have proved myself I can thrive in even the harshest of social conditions, including where I do not know anyone or situations with massive language/cultural barriers.

    Throughout my life I have taken on extreme challenges. I went abroad to live with a host family in a foreign country. I did an internship abroad in a foreign language with just having basic knowledge of that particular knowledge. I managed to sustain all of these challenged and come back a stronger version. For example, I learnt almost fluent Spanish in the proces. This is a good example of how I am capable of doing anything I put my mind to. Do I want to remain in the cold shower for 10 minutes? No problem, I will do it. Do I need to go into an exciting event like an important presentation? No problem, I will gladly take on the challenge and do it. It is just that we can very easily underestimate ourselves. I wanted to do a benchpress of 110 KG about 2 months ago and discovered I could do four reps easily. Do not underestimate yourself. Push yourself to your limits and you shall discovered that you are capable of so much more than you think. It is the same for me personally. I should trust and have faith in myself. I have done things in my life that most people will never ever do in their life and managed to thrive in them. This is who I am, a powerful, fearless person with a very strong mindset.
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2021
  19. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    So basically yesterday I had to drop off my bike at a storage deposit and as I was talking to the employee I got really nervous and a little anxious. It almost felt as if I couldn't be calm and confident and not speak normally. Even though I thought I was a little awkward, she proceeded to kindly escort me to the right place for the bicycle to put. It turns out she probably did not even notice my nervousness and in the end it just did not matter much anyways. What is interesting to me is that I presented my thesis and defended it two weeks ago. As feedback from the assessors, to this milestone in life, I got that I was calm, collected, confident and very "cerebral" and my presentation was even graded exceptionally well. So what is so weird to me is that I get a little nervous when talking to some employee at a bike deposit, but I can be confident and calm during a thesis defense? I am capable of so much more than my thoughts sometimes tell me I am. Now all of this is not to say that I am not allowed to feel nervous or anxious, because I perfectly accept feeling like that. All I am saying is that there is no need to be nervous for a talk with an employee at a bike deposit or for example a call to the bike repair shop. The people at the repair shop are very friendly and the guy even laughed as I made a joke on the phone. Besides that I should not underestimate my social skills, considering I have even won prizes for giving presentations and people have informed me that I am a "natural presenter" which I really appreciate hearing.

    Okay then there is another "major" insecurity of mine. I believe it is related to social confidence as well. It is about being able to confidently tell stories, not stutter or make awkward sounds during talking. My thoughts are telling me that as a result of this I more often than not keep my mouth shut and just listen to what others have to say. The result of that in turn is that I end up listening and taking in a lot of others' emotions without really expressing my own emotions. The question is, do I really need to talk much in order to express my emotions? The fact is still that I might not be talkative at all time, but most of the times I am talkative. I would in fact consider myself a highly sociable person that enjoys speaking to many people. The problem is not that I am not sociable, because I really enjoy talking to people and connecting, but much rather I feel held back by my insecurities to be socially confident.

    Now, moving on to the positive things. I have come from major pits in the past and the way I have recovered mentally is just incredible. This shows that if we do the right things, we are able to be so much happier and healthier. There is nothing really wrong with me, I just need to start looking at myself like I am enough and accept that I am not like others. I have my own strengths and weaknesses, as we all do. Some of my strengths are that I am very trustworthy, respectable, inspiring, honest, good listener, enthusiastic among others. I also have a sense of fearlessness when it comes to things. For example that I went abroad at the age of 16 to live with a foreign host family for a few months. Most people would never do this, but I liked the idea and just did it (even though I might have been a little insecure etc). In terms of confidence, I remember that I can be a real instigator of humor and jokes at the table. Whenever the atmosphere would be a little serious or people would be complaining, I have a great gift to turn that into a humorous discussion, as long as I do not let others' complaints consume me. I am strong enough to deal with all sorts of emotional things.
     
  20. Coolbreeze

    Coolbreeze Fapstronaut

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    Since a workout I did yesterday I have been feeling very tired and a little depressed I could say honestly. It is not necessarily that I am anxious, but more like not having energy and so on. Also, when I was at the gym I felt a little anxious when talking to people. It is almost as if I cannot speak properly and send sadness in my way of communicating. However, this is not who I really am as a person. In general I would say that I am quite an energetic person, the thing is that I need some kind of purpose. I believe that at the moment the truth is that I just graduated and while it is okay to take my time looking for a job, it is totally understandable that there is some sort of emptiness. Once I find a job, one that I enjoy, I believe purpose will naturally come back and I will have something to dedicate my energy and purpose to.
     

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