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P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Fenix Rising, May 12, 2019.

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  1. wfcasdvwervdsv

    wfcasdvwervdsv Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,

    Just a quick update from me. Unfortunately it's bad news. My relapses (twice in October) seem to have set me all the way back to the start after 13 months of hard work. This is devastating and a really hard one for me to take but I've got no option but to keep on trucking. Don't relapse guys, it will f*** you up.
     
  2. Dave G 123

    Dave G 123 Fapstronaut

    My sympathies. I had a 9 month streak going until June; I relapsed then, and again in September. I don't think I've completely undone all the recovery, but it has definitely set me back months. 13 months is really good going. I reckon you will have some residual improvement that you'll hold on to despite the relapses. Like you say, just keep on truckin.
     
  3. wfcasdvwervdsv

    wfcasdvwervdsv Fapstronaut

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    Thank your for your comment Dave.

    I’m hoping so but time is running out for me to turn a corner. I feel like I did in the beginning months and after a month since the relapse, I don’t think that’s going to change suddenly. I’ve retained valuable knowledge and experience about PAWS which will come in handy though.
     
  4. Eternal Struggler

    Eternal Struggler Fapstronaut

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    I highly doubt you have set back all of your progress with only 2 relapses, unless you literally binged porn for hours in each

    Around month 5 I had 5 MO sessions in a row and was already ok in the next day
     
    wfcasdvwervdsv likes this.
  5. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    You have to remember that we are all different and have PMO'd for different lengths of time. Therefore the effects of a relapse will be different for everyone.

    2 relapses at this point of recovery would definitely send me somewhere near the beginning of my streak let alone 5 in a single month. Consider yourself inexplicably lucky if you can pull off 5 MO sessions and feel fine the next day.
     
  6. wfcasdvwervdsv

    wfcasdvwervdsv Fapstronaut

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    It was sex with my ex (which does the same damage as PMO for me, you have to trust me on this one). First time was quite a long session with no O. Second was shorter with O.

    I also really believed that it wouldn't be that big of a deal but the past month has been really really tough. I've had no windows which only happened for this amount of time in the first few months. Also, my symptoms have been at an intensity similar to that in the first few months. The fact that they haven't eased up in a month has me thinking that they are here to stay and not just a short phase which will pass. I really hope you're right and things start to brighten up, I'll keep this forum updated if they do.
     
    Dave G 123 likes this.
  7. I hope you will be good and don't give up.
     
    wfcasdvwervdsv likes this.
  8. Short update:-

    Day#212(19.11.2021)

    7 months completely free from PM.No relapse at all.My mind doesn't look to watch P anymore.Urges are not there but I have to be very conscious whenever I'm at internet.

    Getting better slowly in many aspects such as sleep quality,energy levels,skin glow,hairs look and mood swings but PIED,PE,fatigue,WDs,no libido still persist.I have chose to rewire with my wife but still there are no positive outcomes regarding PIED,PE,libido.And any emission due to wet dream and trying to rewire with partner is hitting me badly.Withdrawal symptoms such as mild brain fog,leg pain,low mood,inrush and warmness across body comes back and I feel like hell for 2-3 days.Then things get better and I move on.Some of these symptoms are following:-
    • Backpain is much better.
    • Pain in knees.
    • Pain in lower part and feets.
    • Mood swings
    • Low mood
    • Fatigue
    • stomach upsets
    • Warmness across body
    • Mild brain fog
    • Uneasiness
    • Zero libido
    • Feeling unrest even after 7-8 hours sleep
    • Difficulty in waking up in morning
    • PE,PIED

    But above all ,going strong...waiting eagerly to recover and rewired.
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2021
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  9. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    Personally I don't really believe in the whole rewiring thing, at least not for severe cases during recovery. You need to unwire first, you can't do both together(not efficiently anyway). I understand that's not an easy thing to do when in a relationship though.
     
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  10. It's very difficult to handle as there are not hard and fast way to go.Many had said rewiring is a must ,even ybop book also says one must rewire.There are a lot yt videos that says abstinance for 3-6 months first and then step towards rewiring.Do whatever natural(No PMO but intimacy with sex) you want to do but with a real person as it'll rewire you.

    Secondly,when you are married and with a person you can't let things go and do whatever you want.And even if you do,for how long you can ?? These are very difficult questions who's answers can be found by own experiences and situations.
    All this is very tough to handle at one time.So please leave and quit this addiction coz the consequences of it can cost heavy,very heavy.

    I'm eager and devastated at same time that why I indulged myself into this addiction? It has taken away a lot from me and really made me to crawl to move forward rather than smooth walk/run.

    It has been really tough and persevering till date for me.But yes now I have realised into what I was and what I can do and had done to me.So I'm internally self committed and motivated to throw this addiction away and make things better for myself.I'm certain that one day I'll cross the line and live a normal life.
    Thanks to all.
     
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  11. Cyberpunk3000

    Cyberpunk3000 Fapstronaut

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    I am 19 months free from porn.
    13 months from PMO.
    Last 6 months wetdreams free(though I had a minor spill in dream after the 6months but I controlled it before full effusion)

    Almost all of my mental symptoms have gone away anxiety, depression, insomnia (the worst of all),brain fog, forgetfulness, no energy, rage. Except maybe be mood swings.

    Sexually am still where you're at. No sign of improvement. No sign of libido, PIED, PE possibly persists.
    Except I have been getting weak morning wood.
    I guess I have a long way to go to recover my sexual function. At times, its daunting to think, if I will ever be back to normal and have a healthy sex life.

    Your mental problems will fade with time. So keep trucking. Wet dreams would be draining you for the first few months but then they don't affect after few months and even stop happening depending on your activities in the day.
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2021
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  12. It's wonderful to know that you have crossed the line and recovery is possible.

    Things are strange for me,I get almost regular morning wood.Means after any emission,it goes away for 7-10 days and then again gets back.And I get it almost daily and it's like this since starting of these 7 months.At times it's very confusing if I'm in flatline or not? So I stopped thinking it at all.

    Main problem is my ED & PE.My erections whenever I'm with my partner has never been adequate.Sometimes they are better when I'm just cuddling,kissing and kind of foreplay but whenever I try to have sex or go for piv ,then I lose erection and come and it's been consistent like hell since these past 7 months.Which makes my recovery really tough and I have to chose very careful and calibrated path to move on.

    Yes most probably you are right that it's last thing in the line that recovers -libido and sexual function.Well that's what I guess too.
    And recovery is possible.You have come here and achieved a lot.Just think some 19 months back you would have never believed that you would come this far? So hold on and keep going ,you'll recover fully.

    Regarding PE,I think first erections must improve.If they are recovered and full then with experience and patience PE can be cured easily.And yes brain needs rewiring ,that too is correct.Some needs less time,some more.

    Fingers crossed and I'm eagerly waiting and have patience too.I know it's a long way ahead.

    Thanks @Cyberpunk3000 for your time and motivation.Lots of success and peace.
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2021
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  13. Cyberpunk3000

    Cyberpunk3000 Fapstronaut

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    I have experienced this as well. Whenever I used to get frequentl wet dreams in the initial months. Even the weak MW would not appear for the next couple of days. And the dick would feel numb or dead. But as wet dreams became infrequentl and I was also taking 5mg cialis that I was getting some medium MW which would go away the moment I wake up or stand.

    I beleive in your case. You should avoid sexual activity for few more months. But I understand you are in a relationship and it makes it complex. Though after a certain point wet dreams don't affect you as much as they did in the initial months.
    We are exactly the same in this as well. Even before nofap. This was the case for me when I was in my long-term relationship. Always required head to get me going by the time am in...I would but within few mins.
    I believe I would be the same, if I tried with a partner now. It would take many attempts to override this faulty coding.
    I would highly recommend you to take sildenafnil for the initial few months. It would definitely boost your confidence and help during sex and rewiring.at least give it a try once.
    Thank you so much for the uplifting words.
    I totally agree with you. Even I have the same theory. Its the inability to achieve a stronger erection and hold it for a longtime that the brain has adapted to ejac quickly. Hopefully we first recover from pied and our libido.
    I wish you the same. Let's keep on trucking brother. Godspeed.
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2021
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  14. wfcasdvwervdsv

    wfcasdvwervdsv Fapstronaut

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    Hi @Cyberpunk3000 . Would you say you have a normal range of emotions now? One of the hardest things for me has been the anhedonia which makes me feel inhuman as I don't really experience deep feelings which move me anymore.
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2021
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  15. If I'm true then I'll say it's almost nil sex since past 1 year.Its very difficult bro.I know through what I'm going.I don't feel at all any urge to have sex coz of fatigue and post symptoms of emission.Never even imagined that I'll go through all this.
    Infact I used to have better sex after 1-2 years of my marriage.ill say not best bt I was able to last for 3-5 minutes.But not aware of all this ,I continued consuming P here and there and till this year March ,I consumed it like anything.And due to my inability to have sex,I realised that something is really wrong with my head.And then started this journey.Earlier it didn't sink into my head that it's the problem.

    This I thought earlier many times but considering my diet and other things I decided to go without any medication.I have good diet.And sometimes I take Ayurvedic medicines that too not regular.By this time I have realised that problem is not in my member down there,it is in my head.Its just hormonal/chemical imbalance and all I can feel.When I feel aroused ,I can feel the inrush of chemicals and now I hate this feeling.Its like a curse.

    But I'm patience and optimistic and motivated to move on and continue this life changing journey.
     
  16. Cyberpunk3000

    Cyberpunk3000 Fapstronaut

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    I can relate to that. I have been there. But it has changed in the 4-5 months ever since I stopped having wet dreams. Major mental differences occured during that phase. My sleep got better which is the most crucial and key part of the process. I believe that led to my anxiety, depression to dissipate. My mood got better compared to the the intial stage where I was neurotic and had at least 3 mental breakdowns.
    There used to be many environmental trigger that used to make me irritated to the extreme. But now, even if those things happen, I don't flip.
    I would say the rage has gone down 90%.
    The key here is sleep.
    I am starting to feel happy about the things that I used to love. I am a movie buff, but ever since I started abstinence I jus didn't feel content watching most movies, I became restless watching them. I was someone who used to frown on ppl if they used phones while watching. But I ended up doing that, it was like my anxiety triggered adhd or something. But now am feeling that I am going back to my old self, enjoying watching stuff without anxiety or restlessness.
    I am also finding more happiness from learning music and languages. And my concentration has only become good over the last few months.
    But if I happen to have a shitty sleep pattern it does affect me with mood and concentration.
    So I believe the key to recovery is following good sleep hygiene once the insomnia is cured.(I had the worst insomnia or delyaed onset of sleep during the first 14 months)
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2021
  17. wfcasdvwervdsv

    wfcasdvwervdsv Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your reply. Sleep has never actually been a problem for me, I’ve had 8 hours + almost every night for the reboot. However I do have wet dreams once or twice a month which I fear may be delaying my recovery. How did you stop having them?

    How about your feelings towards others (your ability to connect)? This is also something I’m missing
     
  18. Cyberpunk3000

    Cyberpunk3000 Fapstronaut

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    Thats great to hear. Use that to your advantage.
    You might be well on your way to the end of your recovery.
    Well, I noticed that if I indulged too much thinking about women or sex or swiping on dating apps in the later part of the day(evenings or nights). It led to wet dreams. Or if I had a combination of bad sleep along with such thoughts. So I basically cut out the dating app and also not having sexual thoughts or thoughts about women in general, though not completely but I minimised to a great extent. I would spend as much as time possible learning or thinking about music or languages. Read about stoic philosophy. Watch movies or read books. Basically changing my thought pattern.
    This, I am slowly starting to feel a bit human like. In the past I was extremely apathetic.
    But I am slowly connecting and feeling more in touch with feelings of others and things around me. Its a work in progress.
     
  19. Cyberpunk3000

    Cyberpunk3000 Fapstronaut

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    I was exactly just like you, man. Ever since PIED,PE kicked in at 21 and libido dead by 23. I would call my sex life below average sex. I would also last around 3-5. BJ's I was able to last way longer even with PIED at the early age 21-25 because of the constant stimulation.
    But as I kept pmo'ing not knowing what was happening with me(jus like you). By 28-29 I lost most of the sensitivity and could not even get fully erect from getting head. So PIV was getting affected, couldn't stay hard after PIV or even during bjs. Even erections to porn was non existent.
    That fatigue goes away after few months. It might be jus around the corner for you. So stay strong. I used to be like that. Exhausted waking up in the last 19 months, working out or doing anything at all. If I had a wet dream it gets even worse. But now its all gone in the last 4-5 months.
    Sad part is, I have no sexual urge or arousal or erections. Even if I touch my dick during shower. There is jus no feeling or sensation of any sort. I jus feel asexual.

    And about pills, many would think that, its not physical so pills aren't going to work. I got tested by doc and even did blood test. Everything came normal.
    But trust me. When I used pills. They do work. Before I ended my relationship at 29. I was off masturbation but not porn. During that time I used pill twice around end of 2019.The pills worked like magic. Like nitro boosters. It might help to reinstate the arousal template to a real woman. And boost your confidence that you can get solid erections.
    And trust me I have read such success stories.
    Jus my opinion.
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2021
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  20. Don't do it.dont test youself.In past have done too to check if I'm allright.but it may go in negative direction.I read some where,you decided to indulge after this year end .So trust that real human thing and don't repeate the mistake again.

    Our case seems quite similar.I like to see you fully recover and rewired to a normal one.

    Never ever going back.Hope we can cross the line.
     
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