[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 90! Thank you all for your support! God bless you all!

 

Day 0, it was like I was on autopilot with this relapse due to neuroplasticity, I just hopped in bed with my laptop and relapsed, fuck.

 

You'll definitely make it .

 

Happened the same with me. Crossing even 14 days seemed impossible to me. But I just kept going , and I didn't even realise when I progressed so significantly. So it's pretty simple and will suggest you the same: Just keep working on yourself and keep going !!

 

Congratulations Brother . We are not far behind and will reach there soon .

 

Hard Luck. But never give up, start again with more zest and most importantly , learn from your past experiences .

 

Day 9 complete !
Was not much productive. But tomorrow will be completely different. I have my complete schedule planned and will definately work according to it.

 

Day 0 of 90. I'm here again to quit Pmo, Alcohol, and social media influence. I hope to go into a monk type state, and really grow spiritual. I feel like it would be beneficially to document/record everyday I'm in this challenge. So starting at 3pm eastern time i will begin my journey. My goals during these 90 days, are to start planning and writing my first book. I want to heal my mind and get into better physical shape. I want to grow as a person and hopefully in the process, motivate others to grow as well.

Pmo- 0 of 90 days
Alcohol- 0 of 90 days

 

Hurrah!! Congratulations, this is inspiring to us all

 

Congrats! I'm happy for you
Keep building on what you achieved.

I said this to myself today:
"Everything is impossible until you try"

I hope it's a brand new quote

 

Welcome, we got your back.
You can do this and more
Keep positivity vibes in your life, learn from past mistakes and keep trying.

 

Finally i got some time off.
I don't know how am i going to use my time. Ill try to take care of myself and get out, because i'm bored -_-

Today, while taking a hot shower (i think lol)
I asked myself this question: "can i prevent getting horny for X amount of time?" Is this even possible, because sometimes it happens naturally.

It is interesting if someone could master this skill, there will be very little relapses or slips.

I'm experiencing something alike now, at day 11 (fortunately ) i didn't felt horny till now.
Sleep and diet must play a role in this formula. Anyway i have to stay alert at all times.


Stay strong all,
Set your heart ablaze

 

Day 49/90

 

The very thing that was supposed to make us feel happy and give us a rush of endorphins and dopamine it's the very thing destroying every aspect of our lives, and our happiness.
Porn I hate You.

 

53/90.
This time I'll make it to the 90, just like @Kairose , congratulations! You've made it!!

@Sasukee !! thanks, you will do aswell

 

Day 6

first 3-4 days were kinda easy. But since yesterday, I've not been doing my work, and not following my time table that I decided for myself. I had restricted myself from watching any kind of arousing content or media on the internet. I used to immediately scroll up when I would see some reel of a girl shaking her booty. But yesterday, I just wasted my time, and watched the Babysitter on Netflix. Some scenes were kind of sexual, but I didn't rewatch them and all. Watched it like a normal movie.

Last night fought off an urge to watch porn. Didn't plan on masturbating, just watch porn. Somehow I just sat there on the toilet, I used to open the incognito window on my mobile, then close it.
Even entered 'hot' in the search bar of my youtube, but didn't search it. I slept early, and although felt a bit guilty about wasting my time, I felt reassured and slightly proud of myself for not relapsing.

Today, I have three tests. And there is still the urge to do something. To maybe just watch a video, or sext with someone. But when I think about how I will feel after doing it, and if I end up relapsing, how I will feel after it, I somehow control myself. Because it is never good. The temptation stays for sometime. But you have to hang in there, let it subside. And it gets easier i guess.

So still going strong. And gonnna definitely complete this challenge.

Good luck to all of you. Keep going.

 

8/90
Since my last relapse, I have been doing a lot of introspection. I realized that there are elements/habits that 'support' the whole compulsive chain of PMO and eliminating them is critical for me to quit PMO for good. Some of the elements that contribute to me relapsing are sleeping late, using the internet between 10 PM and 12 AM, using my phone in bed at night. All these elements are directly related. I have eliminated all three habits in the past 3 days and let me say it is so much easier to stay clean. If I maintain self-discipline by not reverting to these habits I most certainly will reduce my relapse rate by 90% because almost all my relapses occur at night from 10 PM.
I will continue to analyze my compulsive chain from my last relapse to gather more 'intelligence'. I don't want to make the same mistakes again.

 

I am making huge assumptions here. But I highly suspect that it is subconscious. You probably subconsciously celebrate that you have crossed the 30-day mark and let your guard down. At least that is what I have observed in reading some stories on the forums. When you cross the 30-day mark this time, become more hyper-vigilant.

 

Day 13

I got things to say... But maybe I'll save it for tomorrow. The main point is I made it through another day, although I think the victories ring a bit hallow these days. My conviction isn't completely back after all and I think part of me just wants to relapse. I know that'll just set me back more though.

I originally just wanted to beat pied and learn how to have better relationships with women. I'm sure it's behind my ED (at least I hope that's all it is). It just annoys and concerns me that even after completing 90 days that wasn't enough to fix the problem. Granted I did relapse and binge a bit prior, and it was with a pretty abusive ex so I don't know... Those things might have mattered. I have a fear now that nofap can't help me with this problem, and that's affecting my motivation I think.

I just shouldn't have relapsed to begin with. I'm frustrated to be retracing my steps still and feel like I ended up making no progress. That can't be true though as 13 days used to seem like a massive streak to me. I couldn't make it through a day for much of my life (heck even only once a day was impossible it had to be a bunch), and I did this pretty easily compared to before. The addiction has been considerably (and I mean considerably) weakened compared to what it was, so my quest here on this forum must have done something.

Maybe it's just that nofap doesn't excite me anymore. I think I used to get a dopamine rush from getting streak numbers I never thought I could get. When I'm lacking in motivation I know I just need to buckle down and be consistent though, so I won't give up. Guess I ended up saying a certain amount anyway.

 

I'm in Canada, but the area I'm in is now cut off from the rest of the country and a lot of the farms in the region were completely destroyed.