The Lord of the Rings Challenge

5 days
Day by day, kickin' all the way
I'm not caving in
Let another round begin

 

Nazgûl Day 0

 

Day 4

Already really struggling.

Two days ago I’ve went to the Sauna at my gym (I only started doing it a couple of weeks ago, so everything is still really new for me). And unlike all previous times, this time my secret hopes and fears came true and there was a really hot chick there, and I couldn’t get her out of my head, and that is really sad because I really started to enjoy going there after working out just to feel the heat.

My plan right now is to stay away from the sauna until I am a hobbit and I feel less triggered. It would both serve as a positive reward to an actual good thing (I had a really hard time trying to come up with rewards that are not just bad food). And even more importantly, it will keep me away from a potential triggering situation until I am a little bit more stable in my NoFap journey.

What do you think?

 

Day 15 - Hobbit, The Shire

 

yeahh... maybe stay away from the sauna for sure. I struggle at the gym too, but the good thing is is if I just stay focused on my workout, I can just zone everyone else out. Just quick in, pump that iron, get right out.

 

...I think that one of the definitions of rest is the change of your activity and according to it you done well by working with your father, out of your own desire. It looks like the mistake was in the attitude to tiredness and self-pity. One of the possible good ways would be to pray and to engage in physical exercise, to seek the good company, to think about what you grateful for in your life...
...and since something happened it was meant to be. Just accept it as it is, learning from it makes you stronger and better person ,capable of avoiding the same from happening again. Treat it like a test/exam in the school after which you can rise or go back to the repeating, depending on how well you learned the lesson God is teaching you...

 

It looks like that look at the photo revived some memories and expectations-desire for pleasure in you, whilst the sadness and regret are indicators that you still treat her as your possession you were taking pride in whilst being against God's will for nothing happens in our lives unless it was in his plan and was meant to be. Keep praying 'Thy will be done' and that you don't see all the ends and why it had happened but is it for the cell to has it will on the body or to serve it's will and plans...
The important think is she is a free soul in the temporary body and she is a part of His plan as well as you, you shared love, but why to confine yourself and make your feeling of love dependent on anything, on persons behavior , on whether someone is with you or away. By giving love and lowing everyone unconditional you are bound to receive what you saw. Don't limit yourself to a person Love all the world around you as the living God and your whole life will become a blessing.

 

Do things you have to do out of love and inspiration to the goal you set for yourself. See it not only on itself but as well as the changes in you it will inevitably bring. That would be the solution to stop worrying for love and fear are opposites. Choose to keep in your awareness love for what you are after and throw the fear of all unwanted out of your consciousness forever!
Deo gratias.

 

I think you need develop a strong goal-vision of what you are after and be faithful to it so that you can not only react to what you see around you but see with your minds eye so that at least you had a real strong choice between inner and outer visions.

 

Life seems to have become still. Changes can be tough but then you got get off the bench and keep moving.

 

Day 2 - Orc

Busy day at work yesterday. Lots of meetings. I’m trying to get my bigger projects finished before the Christmas holidays, as I’ll be out of town. Worked on DnD characters more, think I will go to the library tomorrow to work on a writing project I’ve been putting off. I don’t want to waste my weekend only playing video games and draining my motivation. Going to the library is like a reset for my habits since I don’t go there often. If I only write/read there, and I reserve that space for only writing/reading, I think it will be easier to build a consistent writing habit. I’ve been eating better this week. We had a company event yesterday, and they catered pizza for lunch, but I didn’t partake, because I knew it would make me feel like shit (physically) afterwards. Had Mediterranean for dinner. I’m feeling alright. Hope you all have a good day, stay strong. God bless.

 

Human papilloma virus, vasectomy day
Well, one of the girls I dated yesterday told me she has human papilloma virus. Thank goodness first time I find a girl with a std. I always get my girls check.

I told her if we were going to have sex without condom. She said no. I asked her for reasons because today I'm getting a vasectomy and I'm clean. She confessed.

I was already going to leave her anyways. I'm staying with one single girl. She likes to work out, she is femenine and good energy and it's a very family girl. But I will need to know her more to make an objective assessment of who she is.

Vasectomy is in 3 hours. I'll post after the procedure.

 

582 days semen retention

 

Day 12! Almost a hobbit!!! I want to destroy that ring!!!!