The Lord of the Rings Challenge

@Redemptionisrequired awesome reflection, and great advice. Thanks!

 

Day 293

 

Day 0. Reset.

I had a bit of a binge--MO'd twice, but no porn. I took a damn cold shower tonight.

If I'm being honest, I'm still very afraid of urges. They fill me with fear because I know that statistically, historically, I can't overcome them. Relapse is inevitable. Part of me is of course aware that this line of thinking is entirely unhelpful but it's so discouraging. What am I missing? What more can I possibly do to work on this? My progress is nonexistent from the time I first joined NoFap fourteen months ago.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.

 

Day 8: Uruk – Hai (You feel stronger and faster but you´re still a slave of PMO evil. A desire arises to break free from it´s chains)

Do you know how the Orcs first came into being? They were elves once, taken by the dark powers, tortured and mutilated. A ruined and terrible form of life. Now… perfected. My fighting Uruk-Hai. Whom do you serve?

 

Day 6 complete!

 

7 days
Thinking of giving up video games They are awesome but they make the rest of life shit

 

Good day men of middle earth and former men on the journey of becoming great men once more.
I am here to take back my life from the powers of modor, please great wizards accept me and guide me through this challenge

Day 1 - Orc

 

Orc Day 1

 

Thank you for these reflections. I think it's hard to make realisations about the root causes of why I want to engage in PMO but I will keep your words in mind and hopefully, with time, I can identify deeper reasons why I'm so inclined towards PMO.

 

You are missing faith in God. you confessed your faith in - 'Relapse is inevitable'. If Abraham would ever believed in 'I gonna die childless' he would have stayed Abram and and died childless, but he chose to believe God in him and become the father of multitudes, so and you should have faith 'Relapse is impossible for I am celibate child of God now and forever'. For we act and live our lives out of our beliefs. We see our faith by the 'fruits we bear', by the kind of life we live. Masturbation and sex for the sake of sex are the sin against commandment - 'You shall not murder ' and how you can love thy neighbor if you behave like you own enemy and cause harm to yourself? You confess here, but go to the church and confess this and other sins to feel forgiveness. Have Holy communion so that you know Jesus Christ is alive in you so that you wouldn't even think of indulging in defiling His temple....and try to think less in terms I but we, us, community you live in, Oneness.Always see yourself as part of Him , of His Body. Then surely you will see miraculous progress in your journey instead of being imprisoned by nefarious beliefs in the vicious circle of sins. When going through the eye of the needle you need God to be with you.

 

To manage urges effectively become proficient in meditation and prayer. For that which comes from inside of you has to be learned to become aware of and managed in good time from the inside.

 

If your own thoughts dwell on God and righteousness then you don't have to run away from them. Learn to control your attention so that you wouldn't have to run for salvation in peoples company when an evil thought appears in your awareness. Learn to pray for as long as you need until you feel the presence of God and your enemy(urges/evil thoughts) get crushed in His presence) and you feel the salvation from them.

 

Checking-in day 21. Had urge pulling me into temptation, but was saved by prayer(read psalm 91 three times and saw my urge crushed...) So you may try this too and read psalm 91 aloud if you find yourself under enemy's attack.
Now I'm going to the church for the Holy Mass ! Have a good day and God bless !

 

584 days semen retention

 

I have replace most of my frequent websites with nofap website.
I have decided to form a habit of reading articles and posts here frequently, not only as part of my daily challenge of studying reboot and stuff but because I have to keep it always in both minds.

But sadly I have come across a few depressing and discouraging posts: people saying that they can't quit or are bound to relapse or something that suggests they re doomed for life. THIS IS WRONG for all reasons.
1. You were born addict-free, we got yourselves here and we're here to change that
2. There are a lot of difficulties in life and one of them should not be yourself to you -watch what you say about you
3. there needs to be an iteration, some sort of we're one step closer kind of thing. If you're in a 90+ days challenge a few days or hours might look like it's nothing. your mind tricks you into deciding that those fickle hours of dedication is negligible so you toss your hard work to the wind and hope to get back better....this is synonymous with gathering and scattering to gather again.
4. Pleasure is sweet, it covers up for a lot of hardship but not all pleasures are good: we here have told ourselves the greatest truth by looking for solution to our predicament that eventually led us here. let's keep pushing.
5.I started porn, eventually masturbation and then sex addiction as a way to cool off brain stress, anxiety and whatnots, over time my brain rewired itself to desire this even in the absence of the stimulants.
6. I work with the internet so a few times I am tempted to watch but I have made a stand. If you keep falling, it has a way of affecting your decision making in the long run.
7. Because of my quest for novelty I kept 2 girlfriends and eventually both of them left, I regret this: one could have been my friend but see where we are now. I will not dwell in this mistake to be better so I have stepped up
8. I have called myself the problem and I am going to tame that part of me like master trains a dog (isn't that what I was turning to eventually?)
9. Truth is victims of PMO are inherently smart, brilliant, thinkers, creative and problem solvers. They only found the wrong solution for the right problem of stress, anxiety, being honest, being responsible and working hard, they have the flair but not the discipline, we lots appear graced socially but we battle privately, we struggle to be morally upright but we can't accept that no one is.
10. IF YOU THINK YOU CAN OR YOU THINK YOU CAN NOT, YOU ARE RIGHT - Henry Ford

This post is not just for anyone struggling, it's me talking to myself.

 

Day 87! There is a primal feeling that is starting to make its way into our collective unconscious! One that has remained latent in us for thousands of years just to resurface if the situation requires it. You cannot stop it! nobody can! but one can learn to harvest it and channel it unapologetically for it to be the most effective in everything it needs to accomplish!

 

@Gallade_Templar Totally get what you are saying. Changing habits is a slow process. It is rare for anyone to just kick a habit overnight. Don't beat yourself up. The fact that you are trying to change instead of just giving up is evidence that you will change.
About the urges: have you tried urge surfing? Here is a quote that I took from another nofap thread:

"This is a simple and powerful tool that Yale Professor Judson Brewer recommends for skilfully handling our urges.
"With addicts, we use a RAIN acronym. We get them to:

R - Recognize what craving feels like.
A - Allow it to be present without pushing it away, allow it to come up, do its dance and fade away.
I - Investigate what craving feels like in my body right now with curiosity.
N - Note craving as it comes and goes along with tension, yearning, and tightness in the body.

We have found in our research that the more these addicts practice this approach, the more skillful they become at 'urge surfing,' or ride out their urges without acting on them."
~ Judson Brewer, M.D., Ph.D., Assistant Professor (Adjunct) of Psychiatry; Medical Director, Yale Therapeutic Neuroscience Clinic"

 

Day 286 no PMO. I’m down mentally right now. No urges yet but just feeling a little down and need to get my mood up so I don’t medicate with PMO.