The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Brother can you do it openly when urge comes in front of your family or in the city center so that all the people can see? If you can't do it out of fear of consequences and shame in front of people seeing you but you do it in secret when nobody sees- You don't believe in God for God is always with us everywhere, He knows everything. If you truly believed in God you wouldn't dare to do this in secret. The thing you believe in is what you can see, touch, in men and what they can do to you and your life if they see you doing it-you have no fear and no love of God. Is it true that the God is just a three letter word with nothing behind them?
Surely our indulgence in sin hurts God and has impact on all the world around us. If we love somebody do we hurt them weekly or everyday? And if God is nothing, a non-existing thing why to fear of someting invisible, which cannot be heard or touched or in other words does,t exist. Our faith and what we really believe in is seen in the fruits of it, in our actions and their results. So next time you have an urge and are about to indulge in lust say the confession of your faith-'There is no God' for what you are about to do would be the proof of it and fruit of it.
St. Caesarius of Arles, Sermon 43:6 (c. 470-543 A.D.): “If they had faith and believed in God they would dread the coming judgment with fear and trembling. It is evident that they trust men but not God, for publicly where men see them they shun adultery, but in secret where God sees they are entirely without fear. If they had just a spark of faith they would not dare to commit adultery in the sight of their Lord, just as they do not allow their servants to offend in their presence. Of such men the Holy Spirit exclaims though the Prophet: ‘The fool hath said in his heart: There is no God.’ [Ps. 13.1] It is certain that a man does not believe in God if he fears to do publicly in the presence of men what he does secretly in darkness before the face of God.”

 

The morning of day 0.

I've over slept and now I'm extra tired and my plans for the day are going to shift a little bit.
But my phone is back to being black and white. I've sent a request to join a watsap accountability group.
And I've decided to post twice a day for the next couple of days / weeks in order to really get myself back into the nofap mindset.

Now I'll have a nice breakfast, go to the gym and then study programming for some time and in the evening I'll go hang out with some new people.

Year of attention - day 1

 

checkin in day 2 ...
yesterday was a good day - I wasnt able to follow my strict day plans again yet - but jeah I had some good moments and perceptions. One was: "Emotion comes first "... If Im feelin tired I should do sth and relax myself. If I feel lonely I should meditate and connect with people. I cant always give 200 % even if I want to. Sometimes I need a break and thats okay.
Greets and stay strong !

 

Dont feel angry at yourself - instead try to reflect on what you could do better next time.
And then be good to yourself again - PMO is not good for you, you deserve better - but how you deal with yourself is key!

 

Finally, we're neck and neck @IveWastedMyTime. I'm gonna beat you. One strong reason is enough. Two reasons are even better.

 

Day 320 no PMO. Drove home yesterday and spent the night at home alone. My mind did suggest PMO but I changed the subject quite quickly and was able to get through the night with no issues. The next three nights I will be in a hotel room with my buddy so should be no problem. You all have a great day!

 

haha okay brother - challenge accepted

 

Day 8

 

Check in day 103
I have multiple urges and I was almost relapsed
Any motivated advices??

 

Checking in day 16. Out of quarantine!

Climbing with a friend today

Have a nice weekend !!

 

@Anas778 Don't give up your progress that easily. Keep your eye on the ball.

Personally, my mood is plummeting too for no particular reason. Perhaps I'm thinking about going to work after the weekend. Keeping myself occupied. Task after task. I hope to stay strong.

 

It depends on what are you running from with it. Face your fear and do your best to solve the situation that causes it.

 

I didn't know that urges are caused by fear. This knowledge will help me overcome them. Thanks you sensei @Slider8

 

Try Nofap Panic Button

 

Checking in friends:
Cold Shower - Yes but also a hot one after exercise
Exercise - 8 miles
Reflections - Yes
Procrastination - Small bit but also did my tasks (more later)
Vanity - Caught myself yesterday when a female colleague reached out to me on chat, thinking she was into me, when she just wanted to tell me no one could hear me on the call - embarrassing
Excuses - Triggered this morning when a package arrived from some friends which was padded with newspaper clippings. As I removed the clippings the first newspaper page was one of these shitty personals page with phone numbers for 'chat' lines full of triggers both from the photos and the descriptions. I read some of them before putting them down, and thankfully as they came from another country I couldn't just try out some of the texts there. As the trigger was so unexpected it bypassed my prefrontal cortex and my limbic brain kicked in. This triggered full on urges which I have been dealing with all day. Coming up on 50 days PMO free now, so biologically my body is getting primed for what it habitually has come to expect, which is a flood of dopamine every month or so. Anyway, the urges even caused tiny amounts of fluids to be released, which also call on the limbic system to act, and so rather than there being any 'rational' excuses, there were simply the sensations calling me to act out. I did mindful breathing and did a task (yearly budget) and so kicked my pre-frontal cortex back into gear. Gonna step away from the computer now friends and go visit some elderly family members who need some help.
Mindful Breathing - Yes
Sleep Pattern - Generally good though I did go to bed late last night, so I have made an exercise appointment with a group for tomorrow morning to help get to bed early tonight
Mindful Eating - Yes - I read recently that it has been discovered that excess sugar in take is in fact more damaging to your liver than alcohol, so bye bye sugar for a while again
Personal values - I am not a perv, I am a child of God, and with God's grace I will reclaim my birthright
Freedom Fight - No
Gollum - he is waking from his slumber due to the triggers earlier today, and that is fine, but we will make the right choices together and he will not dominate my mind, not now

Roll onto the Dwarf Kingdom

 

Hey @modern milarepa , Aside from the need to detox and recover from PMO & sex addiction, as we are doing here, I have some recurring doubts on the biology of semen retention which I would really appreciate your input on:
- The biological production of sperm in the body: As the body goes through the reported 72 day semen creation cycle and this builds up causing the body to naturally seek ejaculation, is it not harmful to prevent this? Can stopping this process lead to dangerous situations e.g. attraction from married women etc...; lessened self control as the pressure builds which could lead to e.g. dating someone just for sex and reducing our ability to interact with women as sister human beings?
- Is there not a bigger risk of falling much worse if we relapse, going way deeper into the darkness than before thereby making the P addiction worse over time?
- I guess ultimately what I am asking is, after the detox period of recovery, is there any case for MO or arranged sex with O, just to manage the inevitable urges and the dangers they bring as we continue to walk the path to freedom from P addiction

I 100% understand that what we ultimately need is spiritual fulfilment, union with God, the end of the ego and selfishness, but these are more like the strategic long term goals, whereas what I am asking here is for the tactical short term (3 months - 12 months).

I am nearing 50 days. With God's help I feel I can get to 90 again. I got to around 150 days last year but struggled with the natural processes and doubts over whether semen retention is really beneficial in these early stages. I am wondering should I be building in a semen release schedule to my recovery after 90 days. I am convinced that semen retention is absolutely the ultimate level, esp for those that are that way inclined (the saints and yogis of old), just not convinced yet it is beneficial for coming off PMO addiction in the first year.

Thanks in advance