35 and Older Accountability Group

I had a rough night, but thankfully I'm still on track

 

Day 5 checking in.

Been a busy week but keeping on track with goals keeps me too busy to do anything else.

 

Here's a Video explaining how P changes the brain and how addiction takes place.

 

Checking in after a reset, can’t seem to get started properly lately
Hope you’re all doing well!

 

Reset. Today will I begin my longest stretch of no PMO? I pray I will.

 

Relapse this morning.
Going to beat this thing.

 

This sounds like a really awesome development, congrats!! Both on your personal development, and professionally as well.

 

Thanks so much - excited and grateful to be here. I have slowly and painfully come to realize that I can't do this alone, so very glad to find a community to help on the journey.

I'll introduce myself on the main thread - not sure if that's easier for people to read.

 

Hi everyone - so good to be here, thank you!

I'm a middle-age guy, US Eastern time zone. Not married, no kids, live with a housemate, work a lot.

My struggle is less with porn per se than with online sex chat. Started maybe late 90s with AOL and Yahoo chat (so I'm glad this is a 35+ group, where people might actually remember those lol), then on other chat sites as they came and went.

A part of me thinks I like the human connection of that. And a part of me thinks that's just a good excuse for CMO (rather than PMO). It's certainly not having a really authentic relationship with a real human being. I've had some of those, some lasting years, but when things get tough, I usually take the CMO easy way out, and things go up and down for a while, but more down, and eventually crash and burn.

CMO will suck up a lot of time, and I'm really sick of that. I generally love my work, love my hobbies, have plenty of good things to keep me busy, so I'm disgusted with myself when I burn a whole night or weekend getting a fix. I've tried to stop myself countless times, with no lasting success.

So I'm here. I've read enough stories in this and other threads to know we're all sharing a struggle, and a journey.

Any tips and insights and encouragements welcome.

Thank you!

 

That's a big step for sure - congrats on that! Keep us posted!

 

had a stressful day, being interviewed at the biggest hotel in my country The Ritz-Carleton , you know those awkward questions in English which is not my native language, man I struggled answering them, and I think I screwed up. Then I had all the shitty feelings (guilt and shame) came along. After getting back home , I decided to take a long walk which was the only thing I needed to blow some steam off, during my walk I had a self-awareness moment and been able to express those feeling in a healthy way, and somehow I had an encouragement to keep moving forward and never stay the same awkward person I've always been with Porn.

 

Relapse again this morning.
Going through a rough patch apparently

 

This is great - good job getting out to walk instead of staying in with negative thoughts to PMO! You're definitely making great progress!

 

It's a temporary thing. Reset and start up the hill again - we're here to help.

 

Thanks man. I'm working on it.

 

Day 151. I'm really starting to love this new confidence. I am continuing on my semen retention path while not dating but, in the meanwhile, striking up conversations with gorgeous women throughout my day is getting quite addictive. Now, I can just walk up to one without having to give myself some kind of motivational pep talk before going over. Already today, I've met a gorgeous blonde named Emma and a cute brunette named Makayla. I'm getting the hang of it!

I now understand why confident men don't stress over one woman. They're too busy meeting so many other women to worry about just one!

 

Checking in. I’m feeling more stable (less urges) for the past week. I know that can alway change but it’s been nice to be more steady lately.