90 days report, flatline I hate you

Hello,
I approach 90 days of no pmo, with one relapse. 21M straight, 10year of porn addiction, 1+ year Ed, 1year hocd. After almost 90 days of no pmo but with s with my gf and sometimes m only with my thoughts, I can say that this flatline is killing me. I am able to have s sometimes not being 100% hard. Also, morning wood has returned. The thing that makes me anxious is that i am not still cured and the s is not as enjoyble as it used to be. I think that this situation is feeding my hocd too (hocd is much more controllable now). Has anyone else same experience to me? Can you tell me how long will it take to get my attraction fully back based on your experience? Any advice will be helpful.

 

Well, it is that i can disregard it. When the thoughts came I told to myself "open your eyes and see what threatens you". After that I just reassured me that there is nothing real that i have to cope with since I am not in danger. That was the way that anxiety gone. I think that the anxiety is a big part of ocd so with some way we have to surpass it. After it when the thoughts come I try to disregard them by focus on things I am doin this moment or by thinking that ok i will take care of this later. In my case I think that all hocd situation is fed up by boredom. There are some days that it works but there are some days that it doesn't. I can say that for 30 days I had a good progress. Then I relapsed. Not because I had urges for p but i felt so good, I stumbled upon some hot women, unfortunately i searched more and I relapsed. I think that it is working. I didn't say that it was gone but it didn't affect me so much.

 

There are very important points in your quotes. I think that more people should read them. I am new in the forum but if you haven't make a post, do it.

I have not escalated to gay porn. My hocd began in a period in which I can say that I would prefer to be dead. I have posted my story. Mr wild entheology has mentioned very good facts. What make you gay and what doesn't? If you are gay you just know it and there is nothing bad with it. There was times that I was begging to be gay to stop living this hell. I just know that I am not. I am an open minded person and I don't have any problem with any sexuality. Whoever can be whatevere he/she likes. The escalating aspect of this is a different matter. As far my thoughts they include much checking (if I like every man I see in the road, even old ones), if they are attractive for me, if gay life is being accepted for me. I can think about it but I cannot conclude that it is something I can have since I have no desire to engage. Generally they used to come all the day. In 24 hours I used to think about it almost all the day for one year man. I couldn't be relaxed for one moment. So I told to myself that this thing maybe is true. Just stop watching p, improve your life in different aspects and if this is a part of your life it is. I cannot explain it more to you.
According to my experience, I think that p and hocd has the same roots. You have to be happy in your life, manage your problems and then you can come into an agreement with youself. Also, without wanting to insult you, but even when we don't understand something we could try to do so and don't disrespect it.

 

Look, of course, there are cases that will use it fow excuse to hide their true sexuality, willingly or unwillingly. In the thread you mentioned, the guy said that he had engaged with gay p pretty fast. I think that it is not so common. Eventually he foud out and it is good for him. But there are not a few cases that are cured from it after the followed a different path. You cannot generalize from one people post. I can send you 100 others who cured themselves. Everybody has to wait and see. If you still decline it, i don't know what else to say.

There are people that are homophobic and don't want to be gay. They hide it. It is not a valid point to say that hocd is not a real thing. As I said you can see a million posts in here that say the opposite. I don't care man about myself, I am confident but please do not do it in other guys in here. Eventually everybody will find out their true sexuality. And I think that there are many factors that will lead him to understand it. Declining and saying that hocd doesn't exist, it will bring more anxiety.

 

No man, I didn't say that. Cured from porn use. There is a lot of information claims that people who getting bored of normal stuff, slowly escalate to porn genres which are not trully interested in and after abstaining from p and focus on other aspects of life they are not in it anymore. I said it previously. There is nothing wrong in being gay, trans, bi or whatever. The thing is to be it because you truly are and this has not emerged from an compulsive use of p. They are different things.