35 and Older Accountability Group

Thanks, bro! After a 20+ year porn addiction, I'm seemingly just now discovering who I really am.

 

checking in , today I learned how to grow avocado from seeds, I love how obtaining from P*rn makes learn new things. things are hard lately , I have vivid dreams almost daily after passing day 15 , however no wet dreams, and I don't wish to get one (many do though), and that's because I don't want experience the chaser effect after.

 

Hey y’all. I found that ignoring the problem and wishing it would go away does not help. Profound I know lol

 

I have read the rules and would like to join this group. Are there any openings?

 

Half way to 90 days and feeling pretty good. I am figuring on this second 45 days being generally easier than the first 45 days, but with a few big tests that would be easy to fail without concerted effort. Got to be mentally prepared to deal with those big tests when they happen.

I'm at a 2 week streak with no O, which is not my goal, but my goal is generally to not be upset by something I don't very well control (married to a great partner with a low drive). I believe my longest no O streak was 3 weeks back in the day.

Watched a few good videos on youtube from Dan Amen about brain scans. He doesn't directly discuss nofap (more diet, environment and general thoughts) but I'm sure it is relevant. Interesting to see real life brain scans and how changes can make effects. He does say that being grateful heals your brain, and I am grateful for this website and group.

 

Congrats and yep.

About the 2nd 45 days Post Addiction Withdrawal Syndrome is very real. PAWS got me right at 60 days twice. I didn’t know what it was. The 2 weeks before were so easy I thought I’d figured it all out.

I look forward to following your progress

 

Thank you for the information and heads up, it is really appreciated. It helps to know what to look out for. From past experience, whenever I think I've got it figured out, it's bad news soon! Better to be on guard for the next challenge.

 

Relapse today.

I feel like just giving up somedays.

 

never give up bro, ask yourself why did you feel triggered ? Most of the times for me is not getting enough sleep , but these reasons might also affect your progress : HALT (Hungry, Angry , Lonely, and Tired).

 

Feels like starting over square 1 but progressing faster since I’ve done it before. It’s scary how fast I accepted self lies about the addiction… it’s my wife’s fault, not a big deal and I can keep it occasional, P won’t warp my brain that bad while it’s making me a brain foggy idiot. “I I have an ‘opportunity’ for PM I need to take it”.

I’ve got low impulse control and
motivation to change. It’s scary cause I was in a decent place with PM a couple of months ago, I was just really sick of trying after failing a million times. PMing once a month but trying sincerely to quit had me as a much better person. I can’t accept it, and without full effort to quit I fall apart quickly.

such is life lol.

@artifact I’ll just be a fake member until there is an opening and a lull of applicants. Knowing myself the streaks won’t be they impressive anyway lol

 

I'm not sure how your mind works and what motivates or makes you feel better so this is a little risky but I'll throw out my thoughts.

One would be to lower your expectations. Compare yourself to every other schmuck out there. They are PMOing at least once a day, and do you think they feel bad about it? No. So even going a 36 hours is an accomplishment. Give yourself some room not to be perfect and set your goal low. That'll reduce the guilt and maybe you'll achieve more. Maybe not. But at least you should know you're above the average schmuck.

Here's more of a devil's advocate one. If this is harsh and doesn't help you, I am truly sorry and mean no harm. I am just throwing out a few options. When Tom Brady was at U of Michigan, he was way down on the depth chart his freshmen year. He told Lloyd Carr he was thinking of leaving, and Lloyd asked him to at least talk to the team's psychologist, Greg Harden. He met with Greg and told him he was thinking of quitting, and Greg just laughed for a while, then once he settled down he said "do you think anyone gives a f**k if you leave?!" And it was true, because he was like the 4th or 5th best quarterback on the team at that point. Brady stopped feeling bad for himself, put in the work, won seven super bowls and married a super rich model. I'm not saying that will happen to you I am also not being judgmental in the least since I frequently feel bad for myself. It is certainly a problem for me. But I know that when I get pulled out of that funk (usually by my wife or a therapist), I feel better because now I have control. You don't have to feel bad or good, or whatever, just think about what you need to do to improve and remove the shame, guilt and all the other baggage. PMO, don't PMO, but do the best you can without feeling badly.

Unlike Greg Harden, we are all rooting for you.

 

I'm with you. There is always a good reason right before, and then right after, it's like "what was that logic I used, that was terrible!" Weird the way the mind works. Blaming it on the wife is usually my favorite go to

 

decided to take a walk after a rain fall in the night, everything was quiet, I just stopped music and admired the calmness of winter, I realized I get these deep thoughts whenever I'm all by myself with no media, music or any kind of interruptions.

 

Day two checking in

 

Checking in...

 

Slipped yesterday. I was feeling strong until I let my mind dwell lustful thoughts too long.

 

So , today was stressful, I had some serious urges, but thankfully I'm still on track, I also noticed some benefits, Like Deeper voice, more energy and less sleep time I need.

I noticed that my brain becomes so sensitive towards P when I slightly think about it.

 

Checking in and back to 0 again although want to make 10 days minimum this time