The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Back to the beginning.
I just let my guard down and started doing things I knew would hurt me (phone in the bathroom was the tipping point, like always).

I should be really sad, but I made it to 8 days, and that is still huge for me. If I could stay clean today, my ratio for February would be 50% / 50%. Not great, but still better than January. And I know that I can make even better progress in March.
But “not all those who wander are lost”. So I’m starting my stride again.

I think that the most important thing I learned from this relapse is that I hate it. I felt pressure and stress, and those feelings were part from life and part from simply quitting porn. And then I watched porn and from and I realized (afterwards of course) that the past couple of days were great compared to the feeling of porn fog in my head. The only solution I got from PMO was a couple of hours free from the feeling that porn itself created.

@PeaceOnEarth108
I’m sorry brother, but we can do this! Tomorrow is a new day.

 

@newbobido “The only solution I got from PMO was acouple of hours free from the feelingthat porn itself created.” That realization. Might be the single most important factor in you starting your final road of recovery. Run with that knowledge and keep reminding yourself of that every day.

Day 371 no PMO. Had a great day yesterday! Worked at church. Got my steps in (18,184). Picked up the house a bit. Weighed in this morning and only have .4 lbs to reach my goal. I’ve lost 22 lbs since 12/22/21. I’m feeling super motivated right now. Hope this high continues.

 

Checking in. Day 5. Still in the grip of pmo urges. I know I want to change, but my heart is not in it. I am trying the Dopamine Discipline course. Trying to empty my head of desire for pmo and fill it will goals that will improve my life. Trying to make the reboot the priority. At this point, it is just baby steps. But hopefully my heart and mind will turn away from pmo and toward the person I can become.

 

Day 15!

 

Day 207

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends,

Day 403 free of MO and day 12 free of porn.

The rest is definitely assisting, I'm starting to feel a bit better, as is the magnesium. It's interesting, I find it hard to take the week off from exercise, as well as knowing that I plan to do an extra week of rest, after this one.

As February comes to an end, I would like to touch base with some of my goals for the month. I was successful in my meditation and visualization exposure goals for this month. My goal for March, and potentially April as well, is as follows:

-Meditate 20 mins as I wake up with 20 mins after work. Meditate for an additional 25 mins on my days off.
-Visualization exposure remains at 5 mins, I need to increase the amount of things I include, in said visualization, to make it closer to realism.

Stay strong !

 

Day 16

 

Masturbated last night. Day 0.

 

Day 25...a sad day, just i cant understand why the things and people are so much complicated to handle, i just cant stand why people always want to live on their own beliefs, why they didnt want to accept your willingness, and the things that you want to do, not the things that they are imposing upon you..just fed up of their mindset...busy days are coming over, i have to be strong enough to face any kind of situations, god be with me..>○< (Teary inside)

 

Checking in.

Couple days ago i went to a beach that was full of beautiful women, i've tried my best to not look at them but sometimes i couldn't not to look at some of 'em girls. Unfortunately, this increased a spark i had on "interacting with real women" as i've stated here before. And boy it sucks! I keep gettin' distracted by the thought of romantic contact with real women, and as most of you already know: this is the first step to decay. That's why i'm posting here, to keep myself mindful and accountable.

Besides that, everything is good! I've been studying, working, and exercising everyday. I feel healthy, strong, focused and blessed.

As always

Strenght & Honor!

 

Day 0, Relapsed yestarday
23 days, my best strike since now, with lower energy than usual but keeping my good habits to work in my discipline and self control.

 

Relapse Loop.
Day 0 starts now.

 

Day 12

Checking in. Almost gave in just now. Thank you for being here

 

Daily Check In and Quote for my Companions:

“Yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere.” – Elrond

My small dwarven hands may be beneath the notice of the self-important rulers of this world, but while their eyes gaze on corrupt and enslaving offerings from the evil designs of PMO promoters, my daily deeds of positive resistance do the work of building a better world.

 

Checking in day 107.

 

Day 59

Another day done, honestly not much to mention today, it’s flown by!

Making pancakes for my colleagues tomorrow, going for the American style as I think they keep better in the oven - any tips brothers and sisters please let let know.

 

Day 379

 

Day 38.

 

Day 77 completed!

If you are failing, don’t stop fighting back, take some active measures. Best way to fight an urge is to run from it.