The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 0. Back into the PMO this morning.

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends,

Day 406 free of MO and day 15 free of porn.

I had a rough night, felt sick and had insomnia. The cherry on top of the cake was that I had a nocturnal emission, out of my control I suppose. Cumulative stress paired with insomnia, is a recipe for an emission.

Not feeling the best today, but not the worst either.

The good news is, I'm starting my Fellowship Journey today as a Hobbit!

Stay Strong!

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach…The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it’s yours. -Ayn Rand

15 days You decide to destroy the porn ring! You´re a Hobbit now. You must take the ring to the place where he was made, Mount Doom. You left Hobbiton heading for Bree.

 

Thank you brother !! Yes there is a lot of richness from his teachings, I'm glad you are also reading it. It will help propel the both of us, forward in our life.

 

Day 3!
eating healthy, worked out. I have the flu, starting to taking medicine to feel better. Keep strong brothers!

 

Day 10

Well, I think I'm fully over this bug that's going around. I had to put my cold shower/meditation/workout on hold until I was better, so I'm going to get myself into it today. Right now, I'm still doing fine, no urges and the dirty memories have more or less left me alone today.

 

Day 28....Again and again , from yesterday my past activities are continuously haunting me, i am trying to never let my past activities again make me slip into all that sh*t , i just want to move on now, but when my mind plays brain games, it makes me hard just by past thoughts, i dont want to live that life again, even today morning when i was doing yoga, some of my old memories again came in my mind and made me hard that anyone can notice everything even from distance, just embarassed, again all those old memories , i dont want to remember those moments....please someone suggest how to move on mentally, i just want a fullstop , that can never extend to any limits, just a big ● thats it.... i can cope up with physical absistence , but how to cope up mentally please help...all suggestions are welcome.

 

90 days... I'm a Grey Wizard now.

This is just the start. I'm quitting PMO forever, one day at a time.



Strenght & Honor!

 

Check in day 157

 

Welcome in the same boat. That's why I always report on day 1

 

PMO forms nuerological pathways, ruts in our mental roads that can take time to smooth out. Think of it like having grooves or furrows in your brain from repeating the same cycle of overstimulation and neurochemical release over and over. These are deep channels that your thoughts will be drawn to like wheels on the wagon of your mental processes. Your urges will also be drawn to these channels because they are physiological as well as mental. That is why PMO is so addictive, and so hard to break completely free from. At first, you might make your daily trek down the road of your routines (work, school, family, friends, recreation, pastimes, eating, sleeping, and other activities) and struggle to find anywhere that does NOT have PMO ruts you need to avoid. But over time, the ruts get filled in with positive habits, emotions, thoughts, and relationships. That's why we reboot, to give our life roads a chance to even out and get some repaving and guardrails. After being PMO-free for a while, you may go days or weeks without stumbling into one of these ruts. But some may remain for years before your brain chemistry and habituation are rewired to make the path smoother, and even then, you won't ever be completely immune to the lures of PMO because we evolved to respond to procreative opportunities a certain way. Your nature makes you susceptible to becoming aroused by sexual stimuli. Pornography overstimulates those responses, Masturbation intensifies the neurochemical reaction to them, and Orgasm provides short term reward feedback to the whole system.

The good news is that you are on the path to freedom from PMO ruling over you. It may be discouraging to be told that the road is long to recovery, and you may never forget those images and feelings completely, but you CAN become the master of your mind and decide what thoughts and images you entertain. Uninvited lustful thoughts may pop up on the stage of our mind, and unwelcome PMO urges and arousal may hit you out of nowhere, but breath deeply, acknowledge them as temporary things, and let them all leave as soon as they arrive. Tell them they are not part of the real you, are not welcome in your life, and let them slip past without so much anguish.

That's my check in for today.

 

Love it. Carry on, brother!

 

Congratulations on turning into hobbit brother!

Congratulations on becoming a grey wizard brother!
...and Godspeed to you both!

 

Checking in day 110.

 

Day 62

Still feeling very tired, combine that with a triggering scene from a new show I started watching and the urges were a struggle throughout the afternoon.

Hopefully buying a car tomorrow, should be a good means of getting out the house a bit more and spending time away from my desk/phone.

 

Thank you both @SSS Vision and @Slider8 for the support.

 

Awesome! One day at a time, we shall become white wizards and go even further.

Congratulations brother, big step.

 

Trod on!

 

Back to Day 0 my lads. I know I can go further though now after going 8 days. Stay strong my bearded friends.

 

Day 4 complete!

@JEBF Congrats on the big milestone, but don't slacken your efforts by even one bit! Strength and honor!

Again, no serious urges to speak of today, which is odd. I had one very brief flash to look at some old porn I've visited a few times before, likely triggered by visiting my parents at home: a place I've had many, many resets before. However, the urges was easily dismissed and I went on to something else. If I could see all of them coming that clearly, this would be a cakewalk. I do meditate, but not with the express intention of making myself stronger against PMO. I'm afraid that it would merely open up my mind to triggering thoughts and fantasies which I wouldn't have the strength to resist.

St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us!