I'm back, I'm 18 now and I want to change my life

The title explains it all, so for those who want to follow the history, let's start by the beginning.

My name is Rafael, I'm 18 years old and I'm from Brazil. I started NoFap when I was 14 years old in October of 2018, just with 6 months of watching porn and masturbating to it I became completely addicted, I'll not say that the blame is entirely of the porn industry, I was a teenager and it was completely normal to have desires, but the form I reached porn and the reason why I did it made things worse. I had discovered at the time that a girl I liked and was talking to was already with a boyfriend, that let me very bad emotionally, but it wasn't that alone.

I was in high school and I had very bad friends, I thank God for having such good friends on the internet now but those friends I had at school did not have the same mindset and values I have, they were not respectful, caring and good to stay together. The mix of the bad experiences I had at school with a very bad emotional event brought me to seek for something I knew was pleasurable but never actually used it often. It was porn, and I started watching porn seriously because of this mix.

Now, I do not want that girl and neither have those "friends", but the addiction that those things brought is still here. I decided to ignore this addiction in the final year of my high school, since it was doing no harm to me more than I was doing myself, but now I decided it is time to stop this. I need to be a better person, work for my dreams and be a person I'm proud of, find a reason to wake up every morning or at least work to have one. Porn more than masturbation is a great waste of time and motivation for me, I don't need to see it and I don't want it, do you understand this? It's a conflict in my mind, a part of me that is not logical does want it, and the logical does not want it. Paying attention to one or another will give consequences that may be good or bad, I want the good consequences this time. That's it, I'm back.

 

I want to @VISHUicandoit. I'll start a conversation with you.