The Lord of the Rings Challenge

3 days
girls checked out: 0
cold shower: yes
coffee: countless
Today will be better

 

Day 0
I'm stuck in a loop. Feel like shit.

 

Day 215 & 216

Couldn't post yesterday! Happy (late) birthday @Don80 and @SSS Vision, I hope you had a good day!

Just a small update. Yesterday was a great day for me, and I feel like my decision is taking a big part on improving my life.. I feel ppl sees me like a better person (idk how it works but I really feel it). It's like ppl want to talk to me more. At the same time Im more interested in ppl than before.

Probably two days isn't enough to say my decision took a big impact in my life... But so far I really feel it did.

 

My life is crazy, but I'm still here.

I have a job interview today, while I’m doing a homework assignment for a different interview process. I’m cleaning the house, going to the gym, trying to talk to people and socializing. Supporting my girlfriend while she is doing her uni exams this week and trying not to fish.

I feel really scared that I’ll collapse and binge like hell because I feel so much on edge. But I’m fine right now.

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends!

Day 411 free of MO and day 20 free of porn.

More of the same today.

20 days - With rain and fog you enter the old village of Bree.

 

5 days!
working out and got up early. Always trying to improve my self control and discipline.

Have a nice one everyone!

 

Day 2

Things are fine, the memories are somewhat mildly active this morning, but nothing worth worrying about. Still sticking with my new routine, feels strange not being on the internet as much, but it also does feel more relaxing. Strange how things feel when you start going without them.

 

Sailing the river Anduin on day 64!

No major urges, just hoping and praying I can avoid them as the stress continues rising unabated. My wife is travelling with two of our children, and normally when I'm home alone is the most tempting time for me. Then yesterday one of the family vehicles broke down and would cost more to repair than it is worth, so I have to add "shopping for a vehicle by myself" (which I hate doing) to my already overflowing to do list because our teenagers need to get to work. I know that the combination of less sleep than usual, more work to do than usual, and the chaos of home remodeling and this car situation have the potential to push me into numbness and a desire to self medicate by fapping. So I am staying highly vigilant, will check in here daily, and am trying to maintain a calm and positive outlook. I am focusing on everything I am grateful for, and really trying to feel and notice my gratitude, rather than just "getting through the craziness."

 

Check in day 163

 

I have one in one week and a half and I am scared, trying to organize my preparation. This keeps me busy and don't feel like PMO at least most of the day.

 

Day 68

Not much to speak of today, feeling a little spiritually dry so I’d like to prioritise my Bible reading and prayer life some more. Off to a conference tomorrow to meet with other church leaders, I’m excited to see what I learn!

Many parts of my life are falling into place, while others seems to be drifting away. If I had to put it into words I feel like I’m losing my sense of identity, but I hope this is simply a precursor to some sort of revival.

 

Well, I have a couple days again. I hope I go longer this time.

 

I had many urges today, my mind was plagued with previous P scenes, i could not focus, i could not work, i was filled with anxiety so i took a day off and slept, played guitar and some games.

I survived today, but i never felt a urge this intense.

I'm in between big waves fellas, i'm positive i'll be able to surf it through if i focus solely on this. I'm caught by surprise by these big waves of urges past 90 days!

Strenght & Honor!

 

Day 38.

Everything is good: visiting gym, make activities with friends and my girl, stay positive.

 

Day 7

Not urges this day. I think I am in a flat line time. Let's see tomorrow I'll be home alone.

Have a good night.

 

Impressive how hard is deal with this thing after too many days

 

Checking in day 116.

 

Yes! I'm positive i'll be able to go through'em, but i'll have to suffer a little bit first.

 

Day 0: Nazgûl (You were once a man, a King, now fallen to the power of PMO)



I return to the fellowship! Beginning to lay the foundation for a new lifestyle today. Off to do the dishes, laundry and some other assorted chores like the recycle and taking out the garbage and whatever else comes to me. I also need to call my mom. I'm going to begin a media detox today and only stay subscribed to two Youtube channels as there is too much negative and time wasting material out there. Also going to write a small list of basic meals I am aloud to have as I have to get back improving my diet. I will also reinstate a very basic schedule to start with as I preformed better when I at least had a basic morning and night plan. I just seem to need those "book ends" to my day so to speak.