The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 9!
Worked out and working in my relationships, keep strong my brothers!

 

Check in day 224

 

End of day 5

 

Day Zero.

Back to square one :'(
I'm in a time in my life where I'm really conflicted about what to believe. A lot of pain and fear inside of me. Torn between different paths in life. Very much at a crossroads, and I don't know what to do. I get down on my knees and pray and ask God for his guidance; my mum tells me an answer will come, I just have to be patient.
I feel like I've been waiting my whole life and nothing is changing. I feel stuck. I feel lost.
So I turn to the old escape route of PMO but it's just so terrible. I felt wrong looking at a girl as an object, looking at her face and knowing that she deserves to be treated with respect, as a dignified human being in her own right.

I'm very confused about my sexuality at the moment, and my direction in life. I will pray about it and make amends.

 

Day 6 as an ORC
Hanging in there!

 

Day 125 and my ring bearing journey continues in the region of Ithilien.

I'm listening to an audiobook by an author I have enjoyed before, and it is a recording of his most award-winning book. It has some pretty sexually explicit material so far, and I am trying to decide whether this could become too triggering for me and therefore worth walking away from without finishing the book. It certainly does not have the same affect on me as images or video would, but I can't honestly say it has zero influence on my brain. I will monitor myself closely for any undue arousal, fantasy, or erotic dreams and if these increase, I'll quit the book and treat is as literary porn (though it isn't really, and wouldn't be triggering for most people, but my brain is sensetized to anything sexually themed).

25 days until I reach King status and five months PMO-free, and that feels really good to say. By then, our remodel will be 99% done, my daughter's wedding over, our guests all gone home, and summer fully upon us. I think I'll have more room to breathe and less stress to deal with, and I'm looking forward to it with a high degree of enthusiasm.

 

Checking in day 177.

 

Evening of the 52nd day.

 

Day 9! Should be entering flatline soon, for now I'm still enjoying doing stuff, rebuilding habbits, and immersing in hobbies. Where the roads head to, one will never know.
Chin up everyone, for if we are lucky, we might get to live another day tomorrow.

 

I had a similar experience last week my friend, after attending a wedding I was jealous of those in relationships and it caused my urges to spike, I know exactly how it feels.

27 days is an incredible achievement, but what I find more impressive is your perspective; you are clearly aware of your own mind and wise enough to identify the next steps ahead in your journey. I find your progress very encouraging for my own battle with PMO, and with your positive outlook on the road ahead I’m sure God is with you every step of the way.

 

Day 129

Quite a normal day, but started off with an underlying sense of uneasiness; I’m due to preach this Sunday and the enemy always has a way of shaking me before I walk on stage.

I set down to write my sermon and the urges hit me like a brick; I knew being alone in my room would not end well so I opted to work in the lounge, and this worked a charm. Also the writing went very well once I started praying into it, very excited now!

 

day checking in:
With more motivation to continue this journey

 

Day 21!

 

Day 6 checkin

 

Brother don't take it too hard on yourself. Just think of a solid reason you what to do PMO and get started. Eventually everything will be fine.

 

Day 449

 

Day 3 complete - Orc

 

Day 29 complete

Monday passed no special urges, not feeling very tired yet. Continuing

 

day 1 . i am in

 

start counting on me