The Lord of the Rings Challenge

bro, i receive an newsletter email from JK Emezi about this issue some time ago. I dig in my email box and found it again. Here you are


"Impostor syndrome and porn addiction"


Hey Winner!

I have a confession to make.

After working with men battling porn addiction for some time, I reached a point where I started working with individuals who are quite successful. I came into contact with a lot of men who had achieved quite a bit in their lives and because of my experience in the sales organization I worked for, I knew how to work with these men.

When I transitioned into coaching full-time and started working one-on-one with clients operating at a high level in their professional lives, it became a balancing act of managing expectations and judgments that come with the territory. Some elite clientele such as CEOs of large companies, pastors of megachurches, and celebrities can put exhausting demands on you.

I’ve always loved the challenge of working with these individuals. I love helping them through their unique situations and challenges because of their particular positions. At the same time, it doesn’t stop me from experiencing impostor syndrome from time to time. I look at the complete loser I was during my early twenties and wonder how it is I arrived where I am today.

Something I’ve noticed while working with my high-level clients, though, is that they feel the same way. They feel like impostors in their realm of work. They believe at times they aren’t smart enough, are insufficient, are lacking, and that they aren’t worthy of their success, too.

It’s difficult for men who either actively live with or who have overcome a porn addiction to let go of who they used to be and step into the man they can become or have become. This results in men feeling like frauds even long after they’ve overcome their compulsive sexual behavior and pornography addiction. Does this sound like you?

One way men compensate for feeling like impostors is by striving for perfection. They shift their energy into chasing perfectionism in hopes that they will paint over their past imperfections. While this may seem like a logical solution it only makes things worse. Perfectionism is a false ideal. It’s elusive. It’s impossible to achieve because it doesn’t exist.



Trying to outrun impostor syndrome through avenues like perfectionism slaps a temporary solution over the underlying problem. There’s still the little voice in your head that tells you you’re a fake, you’re a fraud, you aren’t good enough, you’re going to relapse, and you’re going to let yourself and everyone you love down.

There are more effective ways to confront and keep your impostor syndrome at bay. The two methods I use most in my own life are mindfulness and emotional behavioral therapy. Like I admitted earlier, I still deal with impostor syndrome from time to time but the feelings are much less intense today than they were when I first started.

If mindfulness and emotional behavioral therapy sound too “woo-woo” for you you can use other approaches. Write out your thoughts and behaviors regarding your impostor syndrome on paper and honestly ask yourself whether the beliefs you hold are rational or irrational. Are you holding yourself to an unrealistic standard or expecting too much from yourself?


Incorporating practices like these alongside your work in the Porn Reboot system will slowly erode your impostor syndrome over time. Sure, it may creep back in occasionally but you’ll develop the tools and skills you need to keep that voice quiet more often than not. If I can do it, brother, so can you. And the silence that comes as a result of the work is deeply rewarding.

Your brother in this struggle,

J. K. Emezi"

 

have a fixed schedule to sleep. avoid all screens one hour before bed.

if you tend to relapse when you pass your bedtime, that is a red flag for you. so you got to deal with that full front: everytime you pass your bedtime (even if you didn´t engage in any risky behaviour) treat it like the beginning of an actual relapse. pick a piece of paper and write down why did you pass your bedtime? what you´ll do different next time? and write down why are you quitting PMO (for motivation).

do this everytime you pass your bedtime. writing will activate the brain a lot and will engrave the deepest parts of the message.

Good luck!

 

Checking in Fellowship!!

Today i realize something, maybe all my continuous fatigue is due to not working out properly. i mean, i workout, but i do mild workouts (some pushups, jumps, squats...) and i actually don´t enjoy it

and i thought what i would love to do is to go out, run in the woods. be free with birds, the wind in the face, smell the fragrance of the forest, just stay away from tecnology and indoors ambient. enjoy the nature. so i will try to make that a regular workout . and i can even hear music if i´m the mood

Nothing more to add my friends, have a great day!!


Awareness moment