What is the point?

I can relate to yours experience, like probably many Fapstronauts, that is prices for faping to much, you can't turn back time, It is not permanent state that you are in, even if it seems like this, for me is taking years of recovery after stop any sexual activity, but it's fine, it's worth it, this my legacy, yesterday I watched movie with lot's of triggers that in the past was definitely cause of relapse after, and I felt how's part of me want go that path, but healthy part was stronger, and could see through, that is definitely sign of healing my mind
Wish you all the best you can make it, addiction isn't stronger than you

 

I experienced something similar. I never had felt loneliness before, but back in school I did feel lonely for one time, and it was the first time that I ever felt like that despite me being alone my whole life and not having any problem with it. It was completely new and overwhelming to me and I felt like dying. Now I tried to re-order my thoughts a day later and started to think about what possibly could've been the reason that I felt this way. I came to the realization that it isn't really other people that I wanted to have around, despite that being the first motive for feeling lonely, but more like that I wasn't happy with myself. So what happened? My loneliness came from my subconscious that tried to avoid my personal problems and issues by attempting to "drown" in friendships and meeting with other people. Now, I'm not saying that not meeting or chatting with anyone is a "bad" thing, but if one doesn't feel happy when one is completely alone, then I believe that the issue might be having much deeper roots than just looking for company.

At some point, I really started to investigate myself more. Introspection. I also had a few spiritual experiences when I actually focused more on myself. As of now I can say that I don't feel "lonely" anymore when I'm alone (which I am most of the time and I don't have any friends at all), because I'm not really alone. I still have myself as silly as this may sound. My consciousness, no, every consciousness, is like an unexplored universe just waiting for you (the I) to discover. Maybe that could be a good start for you to explore yourself more.

I know this may also sound silly, but here a rule of thumb (from my own experience) that often tends to be true: The more desperately you want something (like friendships, etc), the less you actually need it at this point in time.

 

The others give good advice, but mine would be to go to your friends and talk to them about your problems. I know dah bois can be really helpful in times like this.

 

I'm still stuck in this cycle, and I wonder the same thing, then certain people may be excited to talk to me and I run with that. I'm just incredibly bored on my own half the time. I've also been down the self harm route as well, unless you were meaning something else? It's a hard path but learning to live with mediocrity is a huge step before doing the truly great things. Great things don't cross my path often so when they do I really love them.

 

Hope your feeling ok