The Lord of the Rings Challenge

day 7

Work exhaustion always make me seek out PMO, as my default mechanism of coping with stress, self-reinforced thru vicious cycles over the years, is seeking pleasure thru sexual release. But PMO

1) actually increases stress: overwhelming regret after seconds-only orgasm pleasure, sometimes it doesn't even occur. It's just not worth it.
2) a huge time & energy sucker
3) not solve the underlying issue

Whenever I get tempted or the urge hit me, I have to remind myself of the above, so that I could possibly get thru the moment.

 

Yes same for me, it's a terrible way of dealing with stress. I'm starting a teaching job in September and that will be a demanding job, so I need to find a better way of dealing with stress too.

What healthy ways have you found of managing stress and/or anxiety?

All the best, brother.

 

Day 77 the warrior of Gondor has tamed Shadowfax, It will not take long for the ring to be destroyed, and for the addiction to be cured

 

Day 196

Spent today writing a sermon for my friend’s wedding; was nice to spend time in town, writing and relaxing. His stag began tonight, we all went out for dinner and drinks - continuing for two more days so I’ll be keeping this short so I can get to bed!

Urges haven’t been a problem today, looking forward to reaching my next milestone.

 

Day 344. I'm a little tired and a little edgy right now... Long day I guess

Im currently working in a grocery store. And I didn't like what a guy did so I treated him somewhat badly.. I think that I really don't like to work at night. It's like I'm a worse person. Maybe it's just me being tired...

 

Day 79
Today is a nice day! Good luck all!

I felt the same day on the day before Yesterday

 

Such a shit show innit?

 

8 days – Gildor Inglorion, an Elf, crosses your path causing a Nazgûl that was chasing you to flee. You stay the night with his company of Elves talking about your struggles with PMO. "Courage is found in unlikely places" he says, and gives you an Hithlain rope, a magical rope, light and flexible, yet extremely strong.

Quest Item – Hithlain rope

 

Day 3

Anger has been a big reason for my recent relapses. These days I get 'consumed' with anger. It's unexplainable. Counting till 10, breathing, relaxing... nothing works. It's my intolerance for anything nonsense. Anything foolish triggers red boiling anger, and people are a huge trigger. I try to avoid people as much as I can. I've understood there are whole range of human beings who come laden with emotional issues. Add Testosterone to it, it's a road to hell. I have to conciously relapse to avoid further escalaltion.
I managed to diffuse anger one instance today. I started going down that path, immediately picked up "Bhagavad Gita" started reading few chapters, this diffused the state.

 

Day 80.
I feel better from last night. I was overwhelmed form the pent up frustration inside of me. Got emotional and cried it all out. I am more of a lone wolf kind of guy who doesn't need a shoulder so i find it better to handle it that way. Texted a friend and told her everything. I feel a lot better now after having all the feeling outside. But its not over, the fight is not over, have to keep my guard up. I am not giving up!

 

July 16th
PROGRESS OF THE SOUL
“To what service is my soul committed? Constantly ask yourself this and thoroughly examine yourself by seeing how you relate to that part called the ruling principle. Whose soul do I have now? Do I have that of a child, a youth . . . a tyrant, a pet, or a wild animal?” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 5.11

To what are you committed? What cause, what mission, what purpose? What are you doing? And more important, why are you doing it? How does what you do every day reflect, in some way, the values you claim to care about? Are you acting in a way that’s consistent with something you value, or are you wandering, unmoored to anything other than your own ambition?
When you examine these questions, you might be uncomfortable with the answers. That’s good. That means you’ve taken the first step to correcting your behavior—to being better than those wild creatures Marcus mentions. It also means you’re closer to discovering what your duty calls you to do in life. And once you discover it, you’ve moved a little bit closer to fulfilling it.

 

Day 37 (5 hard mode) days complete

No time to write a lot. Still horny. Still checking women out, still fighting it. No temptations to PM. But I really feel attracted to women in my office and I feel more self confident after starting BJJ again, so I'll be careful as always.

 

80 days – You enter the Dead Marshes, a swampland.

"Dreary and wearisome. Cold, clammy winter still held sway in this forsaken country. The only green was the scum of livid weed on the dark greasy surfaces of the sullen waters. Dead grasses and rotting reeds loomed up in the mists like ragged shadows of long forgotten summers."

 

Day 2 check in

 

Is that supposed to be a good thing , he is a meth addict

 

Dawn of the 4th day.

A brave friend, Tom Bombadil, takes notice of your quest. He teaches you a rhyme to summon him if you fall into danger within his borders.

Quest Aid – Song of Bombadil

You did great handing your mom your phone. The simple act of taking the steps to improve is far better than doing nothing at all. I've used the panic button and motivational images to get me through a pinch. At the end of the day the best advice is to simply not go watch porn. When I make that decision, many things help me do so. Knowing there are other things I could be doing with my time. Turning to The Bible and devotions. People I could help. Remembering the stories of rape and sexual abuse victims and the stories of those who committed such acts. Just as there are many things out there to trigger me into a binge, there are many things out there to trigger to do something different.

 

227 days semen retention
Day 6 water fast

Ending the fast.
I ate bone marrow, liver, cheese and pineapple. I've eating already 2 meals in less than 2hrs and as soon my body feels ready I'll keep eating more and more.

I'm eating small portions to avoid refeeding syndrome which is a metabolic syndrome that can happen to malnurish people when they start eating healthy again and people after a fast. Introducing too much food too soon specially carbohydrates can cause insulin peaks that create hypopotasemia, hypomagnesemia and hypophossphatemia. All this electrolitic abnormalities can create hearth, renal, pulmonar and neurological problems, even death if not handle carefully.

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends!

4 Days Free of PMO.

Got a prescription for Vertigo for the next few days, will keep to staying outside as much as I can and off screens.

I will meditate a lot too.

Some knowledge i'd like to share from headspace app.

Obsession is just an extreme form of attachment, where we have at some stage it was nothing more than a thought. That thought developed into a story. The story became very compelling, we bought into that story. We played it over in our mind. We developed it, we cultivated it it became something bigger. We might not of done it intentionally, it just kind of happened somehow. Probably because we weren't that conscious and aware at the time. It then developed further, it became this thing that occupies our entire mind. All of our energy, all of our attention. So much so that it becomes this obsession, we can't imagine being free of it.

We can unwind it and move on. By sitting regularly. The thought does not define you. Sit and observe it as a cloud passing by, do not judge it for coming up and do not engage with it (as that would only strengthen the story) With time and practice we get to put it down.


4 days – A brave friend, Tom Bombadil, takes notice of your quest. He teaches you a rhyme to summon him if you fall into danger within his borders.

 

Anything you enjoy doing, especially the ones that detach you from electric devices, such as outdoor running/walking. Without electric devices, you can't watch porn, right? I have to admit though that I haven't have much success with this strategy though

 

day 8

I have reached my small 1st-step goal for NoPMO for 7 days, now I am going for the next goal: NoPMO for 14 days.