The Lord of the Rings Challenge

42 (10 hard mode) days complete

I was in another town the whole day not a lot of urges. The precondition for my last phishing was that I was tired, sad because my wife was mad at me and I was in the toilet with my phone. Now I am only in the toilet with my phone, I thought that I am saving time, but I am not sure about that. I will let you know how I did.

 

yeah I'll try that.

 

Yesterday my wife caught me.

There aren’t many things as embarrassing as that, and it happened after I proudly talked to her about hard mood… but it sort of worked out for the best. I was not in the best of places and at least now I’m more honest with her. But ya, I don’t really know what to say except that my reboot is still not where I want it to be and I need to remember how important it is. There are no great proclamations to make right now. Only to start over and do it better.

 

Checking in

Yesterday was a good day,
In the morning at 6 a.m. I went to the beach, the water was cold, it was really refreshing

I spent most of the day working and in the evening I went to play basketball, I haven't played for a long time
It was really great.

Had some urges, because I was very tired after the game

 

Dawn of the 10th day.

You spend the night at the old Watchtower of Amon Sûl. PMO forces are lurking in the area.

 

Day 4 no PMO. Started to feel a little better yesterday. I realized that I haven’t really been working out and that does usually impact my mental stability. Not sure why I always forget that correlation. Happens quite often. Headed out for a walk now.

 

Day 7 check in

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends!

9 Days Free of PMO.

Today is going better so far, no such strong urges and slept well overall. I still have lingering effects from the BPPV vertigo, but again gradually getting better.

Another very hot and humid day today ahead, I'm grateful for the AC. Will keep to my routine again.

Here is one of the quotes that I got this morning, from a long list of saved ones.

"We meet ourselves time and again in thousand disguises on the path of life." -Carl Jung.

Stay strong!

@Retentionistheway @Slider8

I believe you both mean sexual energy and not Testosterone. You do not want your T levels to go down, unless of course they astronomically high (which I would doubt, get a blood test done and look for Free and Total Testosterone) As Slider mentioned, by exercising more you will expend your energy in a healthy way and it will be beneficial for your T levels.

 

Are any of you guys loner? the only time I'm capable of socializing is when I'm relapsed. I smile, laugh a bit, fool around here and there, other wise, the more I climb the abstention ladder, more I become dead serious, hyper focused, detached from all feelings, and predatory too. I don't know man, I'll keep my progress posted. I'm waiting on day 14. My last relapses were 22 and 14, both forced to reset.
I will try incorporating that advice of jogging

 

I still remember when we had almost the same counter, it's good to see that you are doing great! Congratulations brother!

 

That's could be something good brother, I remember a lot of times after relapsed to thing "I hope someone discovers me" I know that it's something that will help me to not relapse, so maybe it's somethig good

 

46 days
Low urges yestarday, worked almost all day and stayed focused almost all of it too. I like that, I love when I do what I spect to do. I love to have the control of my life.

Today I worked out and took a cold shower.
Keep strong my brothers.

 

Brother I realized the devil attacks more severally when we are about to reach a goal or when we may receive a special blessing. He does not want us to feel like we are winning, and he obviously wants to take blessings from us. This right here means you're in a good path! Just be mindful, that the enemy hates you and wants you to fall. But God is with you so you have absolutely nothing to fear.

 

Day 350!

 

Day 12 - 13

Succumbed to work exhaustion and watched P. Fortunately I didn't MO. Due to the nature of my work, the stress / exhaustion is almost always constant. Not only do I have to remind me of the following, but also I need to figure out an effective way to cope with that, instead of resorting to PMO. I will first try Netflix watching, as I usually am so exhausted that I just fall asleep while watching it.

 

today is day 7
Im not planning to relapse
Im still abit ill but its okay...I dont do much lately no rush into routines and stuff
I try to chill more and be the peace.
Greets out!

 

Jogging helped me to get through relapse and into 120 days streak in 2020/2021. I was running everyday through that time. Apparently my desire to beat pmo was stronger than my desire to keep enjoying life I was used to. I had the same kind of thinking that pmo kept me out of bigger troubles and who knows maybe it was, but we are changing especially if we keep going through the good challenge. I even was dodging driving my car because I had fits of rage if somebody wasn't driving in the way I approve almost every time I drove. The only real way out is to change yourself,change the way you see the world. Another thing that I can recommend from my own experience is to stop watching movies(especially the ones with fighting and violence in them but preferably all of them) and spend more time on forum or studying something according to your interests.
I think that being alone is like a habit, when you need that space around yourself,silence when you want it and it makes you more self aware. So that even in the middle of the good company we feel a need for silence and space around us to see better what's going on around us and maybe to experience some peace and security associated with it.

 

Checking in day 250. 2x sea swim and 20 k steps of walking.Feel hopeful and rather optimistic ...and wish you brothers to feel this way too or better.

 

how does it feel now that you are in control