New member-old habits

I’m a 26 year old male, with with a good friend group, have never had a problem getting women. I meet a lot of girls off tinder usually hooking up with them on the first night no questions asked. But I always seem to come back to masturbating, even last night I hooked up with an extremely attractive girl and stayed the night there, I immediately came home and got online to look at porn. I consider myself a straight guy at the end of the day even after hooking up with some trans girls. I riskily trade a lot of pictures with people on Grindr and I don’t really even know why I do it, I think it’s because I know there’s gonna be someone on there as equally as fucked up as I am to get me off. Every time I finish I shamefully delete the app until next time I get the urge. Does anyone else do this? It makes me feel like a piece of garbage using people for sexual gratification, wether it be online or in person like last night... I just want to feel normal.

 

I think I also have that mindset, like I try to tell myself that I’m really not doing anything that bad, but I know deep down I shouldn’t be doing it.