The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 0 (20/08/22)

Just got back home from travelling around Europe for a month.

MOd in a public bathroom on my way back yesterday. Thought it would clear my head as I was pretty messed up mentally, but it didn’t do me much good.

Grateful to be home. I’ve missed my home and family a lot recently. It’s good to be back in a place where I can just relax and be myself.

 

Amazing, you already reached the Valar rank in the past. Not sure what went wrong but it shouldn't be much of a biggie to pick yourselves up.

As long as you don't stop trying, we can always have a chance to beat this. I could tell you another tip but this will turn into a religious debate over here. All I have to say you have to prepare and fight those urges when it comes. I have yet to document my success until it comes to pass. So I will be revealing what I would do later.

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends!

40 Days Free of PMO.

The thought of loneliness creeps into my mind. I suppose the past couple of days of being alone brought that forward. I tangled with it a bit, as I do not want to be dependant on others to feel whole. I was suppose the uncertainty and anxiety of being alone triggered a lot of "what ifs" and I don't mean PMO here. I look towards our fellowship, towards stoicism and meditation practice.

In these times, it's important to keep ourselves busy in action. So with that being said, I tackle another day of making the days count. I am adamant on growing during this period alone. I will certainly not given in to any temptation of PMO.

Stay strong!

@Ready to Stop It's great that you are analyzing what happened. Do your best not to fall back in to a relapse/shame cycle. It will not make your condition any better.

@HE^MAN It's been a long time brother, how are things? Any improvements ? Glad to see you keeping to your streak.

40 days – In the bridge of Khazad Dûm a strong battle is fought against PMO.

 

Day 116

 

Day 1

I literally watch porn daily. I don't want to be this person.

 

I am not sure. I have powerful images, then I want to act out for a few seconds, then I come to and then have to make the decision. I guess I have gotten in the habit of invoking God when I come to. I don’t know how many times temptations started coming when I was praying the rosary. Could never figure out why. Maybe it was to teach me to pray in those times. I have been trying to stop for 20 years. I guess I have maybe become strong enough over time to be able to reflect before I make the decision on whether to pmo after a temptation. Keep at it bro. God will get you there.

 

14 days!
Middle urges yestarday, a lot of sex scenes appears in my mind, but handle them calling some friends, focus in my personal projects and avoiding to stay on pc when the urges appears.

Today I will not work out (my rest day) but I will take a cold shower.
Keep strong my brothers.

 

Day 38 hard mode.

Yesterday was significantly easier. I used to believe on those days of lots of temptations that it would never get better. That the temptations would keep coming forever, so I caved believing it was impossible to stop. I wish I would have known they come in bouts, and that I would feel so much better if I could say no. That the following day would be easier. I guess I know now. I seam to have come totally out of the bubble. No strong temptations this morning. Feeling calm this morning.

I find myself still struggling with motivation. I know a lot of guys talk about nofap and motivation. I don’t seam to be motivated to get things done yet. That’s ok though. I have been at this a long time and it was very severe. It will probably take a long time for my dopamine receptors to heal. Might still just be really tired from the ridiculous work shift I had to endure. I will be patient. I need to rid myself of some other habits. I am going to wait until I have 90 days. Unless I fall. I need to stop spending so much time on social media and screens. I am addicted to screens. I need to stop sugar intake. Pop is terrible.

I have not talked about this. I quit drinking too. About a month before this streak started. I still have bouts with that too. Breaking two habits of that magnitude at a time is enough.

 

I really feel that porn stars are the real criminals to our society. The real murderers ends the person's life rapidly, but these criminals do not end our life, rather, they kill our heart, murder our brain, steal our emotions, fills our brain full of negativity and depression, and they are not only limited to us but our family too suffer as the person's behaviour becomes more aggressive and he therefore abuses his family members. That's way more painful and unbearable torture than rapidly ending someone's life. Atleast to himself. I really wish one day... we all unite together and force the multi billion dollar industry to be black listed by our government, yea its childish thought, but I literally dream(childish talk ahead, sorry for that but yeah... just a communication) that I snap my finger and every porn star dies at one go, that would be so much good for the earth... yeah just trying to communicate I know there's no use for you from this message but at least my heart thought is emptied here

 

Check in day 23

 

Another day in 116

 

I relapsed today

 

Yeah. It’s frustrating. I don’t think many of the porn stars are to blame though. I have heard stories of how producers coerce women into porn. Telling girls they are a modelling agency, fly them out. When girls find out what it is and refuse they don’t fly them back until they do the shoot. They use abuse tactics to keep porn stars in. Some stay by their own I am sure.

I am also to blame. I have used porn. This industry would not exist if men like me did not watch it.

I understand your frustration but resentment will not help you one bit my friend. It is our enemy. . The industry exists. It is not going away any time soon. The best thing we can do is become sober. Then maybe we can do something about the industry. All we can do is grow and move past it. Then pass on the wisdom to others who want to quit. It’s not easy, but that’s a good thing. Comfort and ease do not make great men. Blessings to you my friend.

 

Day 1 check in. Days PMO-free in 2022: 223 out of 233.

I missed some check ins this week. I also Mo’d again and reset the streak. I will get up and keep trying over and over—whatever it takes.

 

Checking in day 281.

 

Im back - yesterday was day 0 - today Day 1
the "stay-away-from-media/devices" worked only semi-well (for 5 days)

Greets out!

 

Stay strong bro!

 

almost a week free of porn.
I feel bad for not posting, but the weekend was fun and I just didn't have a lot of time. but I need to post a prioritize the reboot more if I want to make it all the way.
tomorrow I have my second sexaholics anonymous meeting, it is still one of the scariest things I think I've ever done. but I made it to a whole week, so it's doing something.
I hope you all have a great start to the week brothers. we can do it.