How Committed Are We?

I know I struggle with this a good bit in regards to PMO, but I think it's good to acknowledge my flaws and hopefully move forward from here.

I know we are here because this is ruining our lives and we want to put it in the past, but I often ask myself I'm really committed to it, or if I just want it to end without actually putting in the effort.

Marcus Aurelius said "If it is humanly possible consider it to be within your reach."

And I believe this quote. I believe that this is truly something we can all overcome, so why do a lot of us fail? Why do I fail? I think it's because we aren't as committed as we say we are or should be.

For me, I want to be done with this, but time after time I choose to turn back to PMO. I don't put in the work necessary to make it to the other side. It would be convenient if it just went away one day, but I, and I'm sure many of you, am not actually giving it my all. I have one theory that I've expanded on from a quote in Magnum PI

"Magnum: Did you ever commit to something you knew you weren't really committed to? Well, take my last game at Navy. We were playing Michigan, and we all knew there would be pro scouts there. Not that that mattered much to the Navy guys, because we were already "drafted" in a matter of speaking, and I guess I really knew that they wouldn't be scouting me, even if I was available. But that's the point. See, I was having one of those really good days - over 200 yards passing, two touchdowns, maybe one of my best games ever - and I started thinking, why shouldn't they be interested in me? You know, for the future. That's what happened to Staubach. Well, that was stupid, because I wasn't Staubach. I mean, there comes a time when you know how good you really are and I wasn't Staubach. So, times running out, fourth down, we're trailing by 3 points and my wide receivers are wide open in the end zone, and I missed him ... by 20 yards. Now, I hadn't missed anybody all day, so I don't know how I missed him by that much, but I think I know why. What if I'd had the best day a quarterback could ever have and nobody wanted to talk to me? That says something about commitment."

When I read this quote and take it from the show and relate it to my own PMO experiences I think about what would happen if I gave it my all and didn't actually make it out of this pit. I'm afraid of what the outcome may be, and therefore I don't give it my all. Even when we say we are, we all make choices there we pretend we didn't make and then we end up in the same place. Playing games pretending like we didn't know what we were doing and that we accidentally found ourselves locked in some room with this filth in our minds and on our screens.

What's the point of all this? Frankly, I kind of lost track while writing. I believe my original point was something along the lines of trying to be more cognizant of our actions, and when we say we're 100% committed, but we go open our browser and start searching up stuff out of "curiosity" we know it will take us down a rabbit hole and we end up back here. Point and call is the main thing. If we know we're starting down the wrong path, we call ourselves out on it and move in the only direction we can go, forward.

Just make sure we ask ourselves how committed we really are.

The last thing I will leave you with is a video on this subject that helped me to put things into perspective. Do we want this to end or do we really want it to end?

 

This is a different way of looking at it than I had thought before, but you're absolutely right.

Many times we wish to get rid of the immediate problem but don't want to commit in the long term. For instance someone breaks their ankle and wants it fixed, but after surgery they don't go to physical therapy.

When we subject ourselves to this content and don't commit to getting better, we are only prolonging the healing and recovery process.

It also must encompass many more aspects of our lives, as you mentioned.

We are here for a reason and we want to treat the symptoms temporarily (PMO) but we don't actually go after and fix the root cause of our issues which are far more vast than just PMO.

 

Gaming is a very common addiction these days, I was addicted to it and managed to slowly back off and stop completely. I play a litt now, but only when my brother is in town, or if my friends are on. The biggest push for me to quit was because I would go look at the days that I had spent playing games. I don't know the cumulative time spent, but on one game alone, if I had devoted that time to being productive I could have learned a new language.

It's difficult not playing games because when you have that free time you have to confront yourself. That's why I like to run and workout without music. I need to have that time to confront myself and seek out what I really want and why I'm here.