The Lord of the Rings Challenge

check in with my new rank

 

Day 11

Feeling pretty good but lack of sleep. I hate it when I knock out realizing my computer is still on. Happens plenty of times.

Reset and restarted my fast yesterday because I used BCCAs/EAAs during my fast while working out at the gym.
More to read and such. But I want to sleep more when I go to bed. Gym soon or later today.

I guess I will share this here. Scrolling my feed on IG including checking out some profile then I saw something triggering (images). Then I said to myself "Exit now!". Left and exited the window. There you go and that's how you deal with it that. I know some of you might not see this. That is just my tip for the ones who are really struggling.

No PMO & no looking at food at the same time

Now I am starting for real. Let's go.

"If I have told you the truth, would you have stopped you from coming?"

Take up your sword and fight these PMO forces!

The company wanted to eat and then the Nazgul spotted the fire. Here we go.
Keep on going Fellowship!

 

Day 0 starting over.

Boredom got hold of me and it made me mindlessly scroll through Instagram. That's when I saw pictures that triggered me. Usually I don't get triggered that easily when scrolling through ig, but for some reason I did. Maybe because I was also feeling extremely lonely during that moment. I might deactivate my ig later.

Stay strong everyone and keep fighting!

 

Boredom gets to me too. If IG is triggering you to lead to PMO then I guess you must deactivate it then.
Same with me my Twitter account. Stay strong.

 

checking in.

Day 3 no PMO
Day 3 no P or Psubs
Day 3 no M

Day 2 no alcohol

Day 1 no sugar
Day 1 no fast food

 

Checking in Fellowship friends!

87 Days Free of PMO.

Withdrawal is definitely coming forward again, funny that it should as I reach the next milestone once more. (Last time this happened was for about 5-6 days prior to hitting 60 days). I'll wait it out, my brain recalibrates again.

The intention for today is to do some reading and study, meditate and rest for the most part.

Stay Strong!

@LLOYYD @daddyG1981 Yes usage of hookers is essentially replacing a PMO addiction for a sex addiction, this is why it is not permitted in this challenge.

@LLOYYD As for the rule, like you mentioned he posted it then but he also told me prior to leaving in a DM. I just copy pasted the rules he provided. Yes O during sex is permitted, as mentioned in the other challenge. O during sex is a staple across the forum, the concept of being with a partner as opposed to PMO in isolation. As I mentioned in the other thread, I highly encourage anyone going through PAWs /heavy withdrawal to go without O and practice semen retention and non-ejaculatory sex. If you withdrawal symptoms are insanely heavy, I'd even refrain from non-ejaculator sex for a while. I realize its a difficult conversation to have, when you're in a relationship but long-term benefit will be worthwhile. I personally opt for SR, as I see its benefits.

 

Day 163
My rest day

 

at your point are their urges still like ours and are you safe to say you are completely free from this addiction now?

 

Day 428

 

10/6/2022 completed

day 0 - unintentional O during sex
day 4 - No M & self stimulation
day 4 - No P / Psub / addiction-induced arousal

 

I have to report a sugar relapse. I think it's important to report and stay accountable about this IF I EVER WANT TO GET RID OF THIS STUPID SUGAR ADDICTION.

So a few hours after reporting I would be sugar-free, I bought one item of some shit full of sugar and had a nice tea session with it. Yes, the tea session is a nice ritual, if done right. But I don't need sugar for that, although it is VERY VERY much connected in my brain. So I have to find a natural alternative.
Also my whole eating is sometimes so messed up, not WHAT I eat but HOW. I came home and I just stuffed myself full ...

It wasn't my only mistake today. I didn't use my time fully for work-related things or exercise.
I have no time for info-tainment, not even for the news. All that is way too much media use.
I have to stop writing on the computer during the night and my bedroom needs to become device-free. I should stop doing so much social media.

I will make a dopamine fast for 60 days. It will not be perfect but it will be extreme.
I have a sensei and he's in my head - always there. If I get used to make him talk to me I can make this. It is me and my sensei, debating and talking it through. Not me and my porn voice anymore.

Today I had quite some urges. But I excepted them and I didn't identify with them.
I was more focused and disciplined than usual. It's a win!

 

Day 8 no PMO

 

Day 3 complete!

I got some good sleep last night and I think that really helped. I don't know if I mentioned this but I started participating in some therapy. It's a weekly group session for guys who also have PMO problems, and it's also faith-based, which is nice for allowing me to integrate something that's such a big part of my life. The thing we talked about in therapy today, not believing the lies we tell ourselves, helped me when I was feeling vulnerable tonight.

St. Francis Xavier, pray for us!

 

Day 14 no PM

 

Day 1 checking in.

Not much happened. Just casually going through my day.

 

Day 12

Feeling good and slept well (finally). Completed my fast (24 hours) and it feels good to fast again. Family brought home more food and there is still dessert (bread and another one I don't know the name). So yes, I can eat them because I need the calories including sugar (obviously in control it) for the gym. The dessert at home weren't too sweet any way which was good. Gym soon or later.

Surprisingly, little urges especially during my fast. It was not easy in the first 6 - 8 hours somewhere around there. Loneliness & boredom came in as well. Being on a fast can cause insomnia so I can be in the same situation as @RiseToGreatness But thankfully, I wasn't horny at all or barely during the fast. I was expecting it but barely came in. It was creeping up but I was fighting and kept it at bay. Going to restart and start another fast again within the day. I want to do another one.

I have to be careful with fasting because it will increase my urges and it will give me insomnia if I'm on it. I have to be careful how much caffeine I am consuming during a fast. On top of that I am SR/no PMO. I have been getting withdrawal symptoms with lack of sleep, possibly insomnia (I think I have been experiencing it as of right now), and some anger coming in.

Yup it is slowing down again here in the challenges. This isn't easy. With the exception of being busy of course. Again, I keep saying to keep checking in. You must to give yourself the accountability. I found out someone was doing this challenge but not checking in here. He is taking it seriously and he is doing well.

@Redemptionisrequired I already said something in the other challenge. Yes, Tipola was doing it here as well. Amazing streak btw.
I don't recommend O during sex (for number of reasons) but I won't argue with anyone here if they say they did it here or the other threads. For me, pure Monk mode as much as possible. Brother, your the boss here now since Rise left you in charge so whatever goes with the rules then I will do my best to comply. It still the same with the rules so I'm good with it. I'm more on semen retention on my goals but I am complying with no PMO as best as I can. Going to do my best go all the way since I committed to this hard mode.

Btw how do you DM over here in the forums? I'm trying to figure this out atm.

You won't be able to make them gone away completely despite of a longer streak. It will take practice. Me and Redemptionisrequired were talking about Tipola who was the one who was able to removed urges from what I heard from his threads. But I don't know what methods he was using even though I would disagree on what he was doing. Then he did say that you can't remove urges I believe. I don't know. Me and him think alike when he said to embrace urges. Exactly, I embrace my urges because it will make me stronger if I overcome them. So expect urges and fight them.

Any way, same ish different day. Or same crap different day. You get what I mean

If you don't fight back, one by one you fall back into darkness! Let's go.
Keep on going Fellowship!

 

At soft play with my kids. There are mums everywhere. This is triggertown for me…. Classic behaviour would be for me to relapse after I get back home after something like this

breath…..

 

Day 429

Cold shower as soon as you get back home! And if you can make a few burpees or run a little.

Ask God to protect you and reject the devil

 

10/7/2022 completed

day 1 - no O
day 5 - No M & self stimulation
day 5 - No P / Psub / addiction-induced arousal

 

Checking in Fellowship friends!

88 Days Free of PMO.

Overall replenishing rest yesterday. I take action today once more. Meditation, exposure, workout, reading and study.

To the brothers that relapse, please take your time an analyze what lead you down the path of relapse. What emotion were you feeling? What were you up to prior to getting to a relapse? Addressing your triggers is key to moving forward.

Stay Strong!


@LLOYYD Thank you brother. I agree regarding semen retention. As for the rules of the challenge, I maintain the same ones that @RiseToGreatness has adhered to for the challenge. I will not change them. I do not consider myself the "boss" of this challenge, as it would imply that I am above others (I'm not saying you're saying this either btw) rather, we are all brothers working towards a common goal and with the confidence of @RiseToGreatness, I will try my best to share the knowledge I acquire as I go on my own streak.

Regarding a DM, look at the top right, to the left of "Alerts" and "Log out". You will see "Inbox", select that and then select "start a conversation". At that point you just put the name or names of the people you want to have in you direct conversation.


@ARCEUS As you go on your path urges will lessen. The important factor is delving into the roots of your addiction and addressing them. Once you address them and cultivate healthy ways of dealing with discomfort (emotional or otherwise) then you can consider yourself fully free. Observe your urge, do not resist and question it. Feel the sensations in your body (do not build on the fantasy that pops in your head only observe the sensations in your body without judgment or resistance) and then delve into what lead this to appear. This is a lengthy process, simply counting the days will not free you. It is a start, but a lot of deep work needs to take place. This is why breaking an addiction is difficult. I've had urges even in my 400+ day streak, just rarer in instance.