The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 3

Urges- 1/5
Thoughts- 3/5

Still feeling lackadaisical despite spending 15 minutes walking the dog; not sure it's the PMO (though probably likely), or it's the colder weather making me want to hibernate. I am seriously considering getting my testosterone checked out.

 

Day 12 checking in.

 

Day 455

@Redemptionisrequired @icebreaker p

Brothers, I do not want to relapse and I won't, I deleted Facebook and Instagram just after the event. I don't feel urges, I thought it was going to get really tough after what happened... But so far it didn't, in terms of urges.

I think the important thing is that I definitely didn't consciously approved to watch P. On the contrary, while I was watching it I was thinking why is this crap in Facebook, and surprising me (and worrying me) how sexualized is the world right now. It's like my body acted by himself getting hard and having an O.

@icebreaker p @Baki Hanma

Don't worry I won't leave nofap for ever, I'll try to keep sending a message at least once a week. But I'm searching to change, and having some distance of nofap seems like a good idea so far

 

Day 3 attendance
No urges
No thoughts thank god and thanks to workload
Seems like everything getting under control (Hope so)

 

11/2/2022

day 2- no O
day 1 - No M & self stimulation
day 0 - No P / Psub / addiction-induced arousal: I peeked some p-sub.

 

Thanks for finding time to write such a long comment! It's spot on.

Those activities sound very nice. Some of them are necessary. Due to some life stuff my work, study and rest time are all mixed up. So I do not seem to find big enough (or calm enough) window for meaningful rest time activities. I have to calm my mind and work on that.

This is very rational. I enjoy. I will work on that and I think I am already working on that. It's still difficult for me to do marshmallow thing and postpone pleasures so that they would be earned. But I did that several times last week. This week I am not tracking this much. I have to.

Yep, you are right. What can you do... But sleep helps sometimes.

I am not sure I understand the logics behind this completely. If you abstain from pornographies and erotic stuffs for a while, won't brain generate abnormal amounts of dopamine when seeing simpleton girls. I had to block sports section on news sites, if you know what I mean. I never thought I will have to do this. I was never much interested in that. I am not sure is this is due to more receptors, or brain sending more dopamins, so that I would keep "reproducing".

These are good. But self pity (at least empathy) is very ok. Life is often difficult and challenging. I noticed that I go longest in my streaks when I am honest with my emotions. Lying is never good, I think. I will write long post about dealing with emotions someday. Because I think from several sentences you may misunderstand me and laught at me.

Thanks again for such a long and thoughtful comment. To be honest, I don't feel deserving. I don't help anyone here much.

 

Probably you are right. I shouldn't isolate. Especially now.

 

Remember that once you watch it you will want another one, our brain loves to jump from one girl to the other, to one scene to the other.

It's a trick, think brother, confront yourself, and you will see clear enough to negate a few minutes of pleasure in exchange for days or months of pain. Think brother!

You will get passed this if you really want to, ask God for help if you can.

 

4 days no PM
4 days no video games
4 days no hot showers
0 days no caffeine

A brave friend, Tom Bombadil, takes notice of your quest. He teaches you a rhyme to summon him if you fall into danger within his borders.

Quest Aid – Song of Bombadil

 

Check in day 32

 

Check in day 3 in nofap and first day in this challenge.

 

Dusting down Trigger plan again:
Pre urges:

• Memories - think of something else, something that interests me
• Mental pressure to peek, fish or act out (while not an actual urge) - Read up on the harm of PMO - Post to this forum
• Drudgery in Work - do a diff task for awhile - take a break - get some fresh air - do some breathing exercises - play some music - chat a friend or colleague - break the task into manageable chunks - just do 2 mins more
• Being rejected or ghosted by a colleague or friend - nip any self pity in the bud - go for a walk in nature - observe the animals and birds
• Realise this time will pass and I will be strong again shortly
• Move these thoughts to the side and let the air and light in - stop and take notice of how non-lust feels - how in control stable and content you are in this state

Triggers

• Trigger content being talked about in work - tune out, change the subject, get back to work
• Flirting or being flirted with in work - be kind, but get out of the situation
• Getting a text or chat with trigger content - delete - get some fresh air - stay away from electronics as much as possible the rest of that day or night
• Seeing a trigger scene on a film or TV - Ideally this should not happen as I am committed to a full detox for 90 days but if it does then divert the eyes, switch off, skip past it, get away from electronics
• Tired/ Exhausted at end of day - do not lean on the devices to relax, go for a walk, fresh air, or if too tired read a book or even a comic if I just want something light, wind down nice and easy, get to bed early and look forward to good night's sleep
• Trigger content comes up in searches etc... - have blockers on, and if something still comes up, turn it off and turn away - flee from this like it was the plague - go for a walk
• Study the harm of PMO
• Keep posting here
• Realise this time will pass and I will be strong again shortly

Urges
If the urges come on strong here is a list of stuff I can use:

• Post here asap
• Look to do some activity for at least an hour
• Watch a non trigger movie - this takes my mind to another place
• Play a game, preferably a board game
• Read an absorbing book, novel, comic
• Go for a run (preferably trail run in nature)
• Go for a cycle
• Go for an open water swim
• Do a workout - but I have found with physical training you have to put in double the effort, really break into a good sweat because only half doing the workout can make the urges worse
• Book a physio, chiropractor or massage therapist, or just go nuts on the foam roller & tennis ball
• Call up a friend(s) or family and arrange to meet up - remember that this meeting will be terrible and will leave an awful impression on your friend (s) if you relapse beforehand
• Plan to get to bed early, and best is have a planned meeting early the next morning (e.g. a workout or jog) so you are motivated to go to bed early
• Keep up the breathing exercises, but I find, when the urges come on, something more physical really helps
• Realise this time will pass and I will be strong again shortly

In the case I've peeked or worse still fished

• Treat it like a mini relapse
• Do the plane crash post mortem
• Get really really serious with yourself - what the fuck are you doing!
• Realise this time will pass and I will be strong again shortly
  
• Watch the freedom fight video on relapsing
• Realise I just need get get trigger free days between me and that last peek
• Realise the delta fos b highways will be screaming for action
  • Man up to these urges and face the bastards down
  • This is the time for chest beating, really really go into battle mode
• Get out as much as possible
• Meet people as much as possible
• And if this is not possible then fill the days with activities or movies anything to take the mind off the trigger
• Post here
• Go for a very long hike, long run, long cycle - like get out for 3-4 hours min
• Ask for help
• Pray hard on hands and knees please St. Michael defend us !

 

Day 9

 

Day 36 no PMO. I went on a couple walks. I am really enjoying watching the leaves fall as I walk. I came home from work and was all alone so O stayed downstairs and didn’t go near my bedroom (a place I would normally PMO) in order to avoid any routine temptations. My wife got home last night so order is restored in my world. Should be a good weekend.

 

You got this brother. Stay strong. Remember that a relapse won’t actually make you feel better… it will make you feel worse. Think about how you will
Feel after you watch this video you are thinking about. It’s not worth it.

 

You are completely right. I am thinking now that I would watch and pmo only once. But it's clearly not truth. I would do it again and again and again until it's 15 pmo in one month. If you saw my calendars, pmo rarely walks alone for me.

Thanks for support!

 

Thanks! You are also right. It's always "Why did I do this sh*t? It wasn't worth it".

 

Early checking
Today is my rest day
Today's work

• Reading the deep work book.(ongoing)

I share with you a funny video clip which is related to coding. Watch enjoy your weekend

 

Day 0 starting over.

Well what can I say, disappointing really. Not beating up myself too much cause at least I made it past a week which I haven't done in a long time. I realize now one of the mistakes I've been making is counting the days I've not PMO when I should be making the days count!

According to an article I found quote, "counting the days will most likely increase your likelihood of relapse because it means you’re always thinking about your addiction and as a result you’ll get tempting thoughts more often." I couldn't agree more. The more I think about the days of not doing PMO, the more I think about the addiction itself and the temptation. So as of now, I will reduce my time in the NoFap forums and mostly coming in just to check in. I will now also try to go out and exercise more often even tho a lot of the times I need to be on my laptop to finish college work and assignments. I need to start making the days count as much as possible.

Best of luck to us all and stay strong!

 

Checking in Fellowship friends!

115 Days Free of PMO.

A busy day ahead, what in preparation of next week. I will make the most of it and I am grateful. I got my total testosterone level yesterday and I'm happy to report it has increased by 20% since last year. It's not where I want it to be, but i'm on track and intend to continue on the same path. Still awaiting free and bioavailable levels of T.

"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny." -Albert Ellis

Stay Strong!

115 days – At the Cross-roads, the point in Ithilien where the Harad-Road is crossed by the east-west road, you contemplate the statue of a king now beheaded by the cruel forces of PMO. Seeing the fallen head gives you hope for nature crowned it with flowers.

@Baki Hanma Then let us both meet the challenge head on, overcome and grow from it brother.

@icebreaker p Thank you brother and right back at you!

@Repression Rise and rise again, until sheeps become lions.

@Kairose I'm glad to hear you have closed off those accounts and I look forward to hearing about your growth in this next chapter of your life.

@Paul S. Try your best my brother, it isn't an easy ask to avoid isolation but I can promise you, that you will feel better doing so.

@PeaceOnEarth108 Good effort brother, keep at it!

@Ready to Stop Well done on addressing a potential trigger brother.

@Lone Skeleton Exactly brother, making the days count is what matters the most. Just keep rising and improving. Do not bash yourself for the relapse, this can only lead you to binge.