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Happy Be-A-Better-Me Journal

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Liege Blåhaj, Sep 23, 2022.

  1. I broke my fast. Since I started my fast around noon on Sunday, I successfully completed 4 days. Today-Sun I want to eat OMAD, and start a new fast on Monday.
     
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  2. Ūruz

    Ūruz Fapstronaut

    You are starting the month with great momentum so far; amazing job once again!
     
    Lady Blåhaj likes this.
  3. Tiny Brat likes this.
  4. Keep at it. Such persistence will undoutedly pay off
     
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  6. Just ate about 2 hours ago. I think I'm gonna try for a 5 day fast, starting now. That means I'll be able to eat on Friday around noon.
     
  7. Finished a 5 day fast today! Feeling pretty good. Met my weight loss goal for the month: I'm at 298lb. Plan for this week is to have a bit of a "feast" week and reacclimate myself to food and build up my nutrient storage before starting a 6 day fast on the 25th, the day after Thanksgiving here in the US.
     
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  8. I found a new zero calorie tea I absolutely love for when I'm fasting: dandelion root tea. Tastes so earthy.
     
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  9. Killer workout tip: try to match Suga, Jimin, & Jin dancing to Rasputin! Repeat 3x and you’ll be dead but fit! Amiright?
     
    Cirilla likes this.
  10. Well I was gonna workout today, but in a weird little accident, I managed to almost rip off a toe nail this morning falling from some steps lol. Must be karmic payback for something I did. The human body is so fragile. So I guess I'm just gonna sit back and nurse my injuries haha and see how I feel tomorrow.

    Funny the kind of reflections this has brought up. Maybe one day instead of ripping off a toenail I could fall dead instead. Never know what the future brings. Memento mori. Live every day as if it might be your last, because it very may well be.

    It took me a while to register that you were talking about the song and not some old dead Russian guy haha. I haven't seen this particular clip, will look it up!
     
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  11. Parents know how to make a bad day worse. Dad explaining what happened this morning to mom: "He ripped off his toenail while falling off the back porch. I told him..." Can't deal with being misgendered right now. I can feel another episode of bad mental health creeping back. Don't know how to get through to my parents. I've asked them nicely. I've raged and yelled. They still make zero effort to use my pronouns.

    Wish I didn't have to live with them. But I'm too poor to find an apartment.
     
  12. Ūruz

    Ūruz Fapstronaut

    Congrats on successful 5 day fast!

    Sorry to hear about your troubles at home, I know it feels shitty when when people who are supposed to care for you do not respect your boundaries—makes you feel mad and just so alone.

    But at least you're not gonna have to wear a moldy Kinder Surprise egg costume, cos you met your goal for the month! :p

    You've been absolutely rocking it this month, take a well deserved rest and enjoy the Turkey Day!

    @Lady Blåhaj :emoji_soon: :emoji_middle_finger::emoji_yum: :emoji_poultry_leg:
     
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  13. It will knock you out, baby!!! I can't keep up!

     
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  14. I've been reflecting on preferences today and my wants and dislikes create my reality. When I hurt my toe yesterday I had such a negative reaction to it it colored the rest of the day negatively and I had a terrible day. Today the toe is feeling much better, and so am I.

    The Great Way is not difficult
    for those who have no preferences.
    When not attached to love or hate,
    all is clear and undisguised.
    Separate by the smallest amount, however,
    and you are as far from it as heaven is from earth.

    If you wish to know the truth,
    then hold to no opinions for or against anything.
    To set up what you like against what you dislike
    is the disease of the mind.
     
  15. Nota Bene: I'm switching to a third person perspective in my journals to give myself practice using my pronouns (I still misgender myself sometimes lol) and also because I read an article suggesting talking to yourself in the third person allows you to be more supportive towards yourself.

    Haha, thank you Ūruz! Lady Blåhaj is very relieved they won't have to eat a mold Kinder Suprise egg. They're probably above their monthly goal weight right now with all the food they've been eating, but hope to maybe lose it before the end of month with a 6 day fast.

    They got their toe checked out and it's fine. So just need to keep it bandaged and dry and hopefully it'll heal up.

    Looking back at what they wrote a week ago, LB feels like they were being very dramatic haha- overly so. Still that's how they were feeling at the time and that's okay. No feeling is wrong to have.

    LB will try this out!!! They love this song, and this dance looks really challenging! Thanks for the recommendation.
     
    Ūruz likes this.
  16. LB hasn't been meeting their goals recently. Hasn't been exercising or meditating. Planning on starting up their habits again starting tomorrow.
     
  17. LB has decided to try out a new set of pronouns: "it/its". For some reason it/its makes LB very happy when they hear them. LB thinks there are a number of factors that contribute to this:

    1. LB's spirituality: As a nondualist, LB believes there is no fundamental separation between themself and their surroundings. LB sees all existence as a manifestation of a fundamental reality that expresses itself in a variety of forms as the universe we see, and as ourselves as well. Using it/its is a reminder of this for LB, that they are not separate from the rest of existence. This is true physically as well as spiritually: all the atoms in our bodies and in the entire universe are just variation of the same sort of stuff, atoms that were created in the cores of long dead stars. It/its pronouns help LB identify with their oneness with the universe.
    2. LB relates more to animals and the environment than humans: as a member of the human species, LB often feels very distant from humanity, and sad about the destruction humanity has created in our world. LB is not transhuman or transpecies- LB admits to being human. Regardless, they identify more with non-human animals and the environment than humanity a lot of the times. Sometimes LB wishes they weren't human.
    3. LB recognizes that humans are also animals: humans are mammals just like cat, dogs, bears and possums. We tend to think we are somehow better than other animals because we are smarter than them. But that doesn't change the fundamental fact that we are still animals. We have the same animal limitations, much of the same genome, and a lot of the same hormones and proteins as other animals. The only difference between us is degree of intelligence. It/its pronouns helps LB identify with their extended animal family.
    4. LB feels genderless most of the time: LB mostly just feels like themself without any gender. Occasionally LB will feel feminine or masculine, but mostly just genderless. LB feels it/its as the gender neutral pronouns in the English language fits best with the experience of being genderless.
    LB recognizes that it/its pronouns can be controversial among LGBTQ+ people. It/is has in the past been use to dehumanize and disparage trans people and non-binary people. LB recognizes this history and honors it. LB knows that many people feeling uncomfortable using it/its pronouns for people because of this reason. If you are one of these people, LB encourages you to use they/them instead, which is also one of their pronouns.

    LB however does not feel dehumanized when people use it/its for them. Instead they feel validated and empowered. It/its just fits so well with who LB feel themselves to be. And maybe they can also be part of a movement to help reclaim these pronouns to give them more positive connotations.

    If you would like to learn more about using it/its pronouns, here is a great article LB suggests you read: https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/her...cing-non-binary-pronoun-it-its-223331366.html
     
  18. Day 1 of 6 day fast. LB weighed itself this morning. Gained 14 lbs in 6 days of feasting! o_O

    Not sure it'll be able to lose that in the next 6 days. Kinda bummed, didn't think the weight gain would be that much. Still, soldiering onwards.
     
    Ūruz likes this.
  19. LB is not very motivated to fast today. Food cravings high.
     
  20. Ūruz

    Ūruz Fapstronaut

    Don't be bummed, it's normal! If you look in my journal you will see I have added 10 pounds of weight in just two days during my refeeds! It's just water weight, don't worry about it. That's why I weight myself every single day, rather than just once a week, cos then you can average all that weight at the end of a month and get more accurate picture of real fat loss. You are doing great, you got this! :)
     
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