Accountability for All

Checkin'

 

Day 4. Nearly midday and doing ok so far.

 

Day…???? Infinity

this threads been good for me . and if it ain’t broke don’t fix it

 

Day 0
Relapse.
Checked my calendar and I have 97 relapses to date this year averaging 3 days of fapstinence.
I am not proud of that.
I want to do better. I want to be better.

 

I found it really difficult today. I have been easily distracted. I can't let that happen but it shows me how difficult this is.

 

Day 3✅
A lazy day. But no intention to relapse. I'm quite motivated to make my 90 days celibacy streak. I also know that this motivation will not last long and I have to have a strong plan when the urges will come.
Tomorrow I'll recall my all Statments that I wrote in my diary and also read the list of do and donts:that describe the things to do when urges comes and the things don't do.

 

Relapsed. Its not like i am busy. But damn i haven't been able to cope with my life. I hope it changes from tomorrow bc i have shifted to a breathing space.

 

Checking in - I'm struggling with lack of sleep for weeks at this point, and I'm tired. But let's keep trying.


Baby Naruto in - The Naruto Challenge (うず)

 

Relapsed too. Back to Day One but at least I'm back.

 

Day 88

last day of work related stuff for the break and it’s only a half day. Wooo can’t wait to bang these hours out and get into my break time yaaayyyy. 9.5 days of Christmas break so Gucci yayayayayay

 

I`m doing good. Today, I finally slept well.

Merry Christmas to everybody.

 

Day 89

maybe I should …..stick to my plan for once in my life. I’m always making a good plan and when I execute it it goes great.

Lately I’ve been getting impatient. Giving into the peer pressure of others. Then doing what I’m told to do instead of what I believe is the best thing for me to do.

I just end up feeling perplexed disoriented and discouraged. I didn’t want to do mma till the new year but signed up last week. Well, things change. Holding too rigidly to a plan ends up burning you like holding onto a rope attached to a ship set to sail tomorrow. If it sails today unexpectedly and you don’t adapt to the moment by letting the rope go. Your hands will be a bloody mess. Because you weren’t willing to adapt. You forced the issue. Pushed your plan too hard. And ended up all banged up.

some points. 1. I accept the mma happening early. Some annoying dickhead on these forums who flamed me one too many times. pushed me to get back into dating before I wanted to do it. I wasn’t ready and it was miserable going. But if I hadn’t done it at the time I wouldn’t met my partner who I like. Maybe mma early is kismet too.

2. I won’t know till I’m fully licensed where I want to work. But I always make my decisions off one question, “What makes sense?” And while I have some qualms maybe even bug qualms with my company. It makes sense to stay here, this boats been sailing good for two years. Best to keep rowing rather than try to change to a nicer boat and crew .

3. I’m avoiding buffets, processed food and gonna push to be called my new name more in my life. Must keep resisting peer pressure to the contrary

This beard is itchy. I want to just go to my partners right now but it’s too early. Sighs. I could just go there and workout at her gym. No….I’ll workout at moms. Gonna just chill in bed till like seven when I’d normally get up. Bae will ask why I was up late. I’ll say?????? I overate and it gave me weird dreams. About killing bugs . Hah fun. Maybe some anxiety about my new home huh?

well if she leaves at six then what? May all beings be free of suffering.

I wanna get there as early as possible. No vagina footing around with mom. Love my mom. She’s a time suck. Less I’m around her the more time I’ll have.

I’ll also start writing out Cassidy’s schedule over the phone with her. Otherwise she doesn’t like she talks a crapload about things to deal with that could be issues but aren’t concrete. I have to sift out the times of day she’s available from the other 90% content of what she’s saying. She’s a chatty one when it comes to planning. Not succinct or direct or really in the know what about she’s gonna be doing . It was only confirmed she’d be busy in the evening less than 24 hours advance notice meaning. I can’t plan with her very well. As her plans are almost never concrete. That’s because most people aren’t intense about keeping plans. Hm

that’s okay I can plan on the fly now as a result of dating her. It’s strangely no longer anxiety provoking. Guess the exposure won out. Heh

 

One more thing

merry Christmas everyone!!! @higor pereira araujo higor pereira araujo


I feel guilty taking up so much space on here, but I don’t wanna post to the ssj thread. Being on there never worked for me I just couldn’t gel with the thread. I love the anime though, I’m watching it now along with Naruto. First the manga then the show. Then the light novels lol. Let’s do it all!

I love being on vacation. I wish I could take more and still get lots of money may it be so. I’m taking a two week one sometime. I feel a whole month off is just a bit much to make my clients endure . So much time. Two weeks a few times a year is a lot to me. To most people.

 

Relapse
Day 0

 

Day 1 for me.. hoping this will help me stay accountable.

 

Maybe someone should make a demon slayer thread

kegels daily ftw

 

Kegels help your fapstinence?


NSFW words about kegels below, not crazy graphic, possibly triggering.

Spoiler

Side note I recently learned that kegels involve more than flexing the muscle but in fact incorporate movement along the inside of the shaft, kind of like moving pressed fingers along a tube of toothpaste.

 

Well that was intriguing knowledge. Thanks for sharing about the toothpaste

 

Merry Christmas !

 

Yay merry Christmas!