I hate my ex’s boyfriend

God, the sounds ghastly. Any chance of you moving out any time soon? Living with your ex sounds like a miserable situation and i doubt new guy is particularly happy about it either.

 

She is using both of you BTW. But what I do not understand is why are you still living together, it just doesn't work.

The oldest trick in the book for a woman is to make her intended target jealous by flirting and giving herself to another man, so that she can increase her value and attraction by appearing to be wanted. Make no mistake, when she called you to open the door for her she knew exactly what she was doing and the effect it will get and I presume she was thrilled to see a surprised or off balanced facial expression from you. If you do the dreaded mistake of continuing to live with her, expect things only to get worse in terms of trying to get you to feel jealous.

You will be far better off without her, either you or her need to change living quarters, if it can happen immediately all the better.
She kept her connection with that ex boyfriend so that she can use him in situations like this, that's why women stay "friends" with their ex-boyfriends, they like to keep all of their options open. Men and women think very differently.

The old fashioned way of getting married early on and staying married for life, was so much better than the hook-up culture we have now, men used to be able to focus on their lives, families and improving their societies. Now, this relationships sphere is unconducive to good living and the worst part is that the younger generations don't even know what they are missing.

 

Being friends with an ex can feel like the right thing to do, but it is holding you back from moving on properly. You know your situation a lot better than we do, of course. But i think its reasonable to suggest that if you meet a new girl any time soon it's going to be pretty offputting to learn that you live with your ex and her new boyfriend.

Is there any chance at all that your annoyance of this guy is anything to do with the fact that he's dating your ex? Are you sure?

I might be wrong. But my advice would still be to find someone else to live with.

 

I have a different take on this, a spiritual approach as I’ve found in the 12-step movement. Do you have a concept of a God that is all-powerful, that you believe is present in your life? For expedience, I’ll use the word God. If you do, you must invite God into all areas of your life, including this one. Many people forget that God is everywhere, and it’s important to bring God into your love and sexual affairs. You cannot offend God or think you cannot use your spirituality and bring God into your relationship with your roommate and with him, including the bedroom.

It’s a purely spiritual program, and you can utilize these steps around your sexual life and sex addiction. Step 1: admit that you’re powerless over this situation, and where this guy is concerned. In this regard, your thoughts and actions are unhealthy and you are insane in your thinking - your life is unmanageable in this affair.

Step 2: if you believe in the God of your understanding, you’ll have to have a strong faith and trust that God can and will help you - if you let God. You have to be willing to accept that God, a power greater than you, can restore you to sanity. if you have trouble doing this, return to step one. When you’re able to believe that God is powerful enough to help you, heal you and return you to sanity, you are ready for Step 3.

Step 3: make a decision to turn your will and your life over to the care of God, praying ONLY for knowledge of God’s will for you and for the power to carry it out. You only need to have faith the size of a mustard seed for this to work in your life.

As long as you live your life on self-will, NOT trying to align your will with Gods will., you’re destined to lose, in every area of your life. God always has to be Number 1 in your life, because without God, you have nothing. Whatever you put ahead of God, you will lose. This is a spiritual principle that works - ALWAYS works. When you live your life this way, your life will get better, and so will you. When you can begin to live your life as your highest self, aligning your will with God’s will, you will succeed and be happy. Isn’t that what we all want? To find peace, happiness, fulfillment and joy in life?

 

Mindfulness is good practice when it comes to relationships, be them romantic or not. To deal with people I dislike through curiosity lens aids me to keep it cool. To get emotional help, like that of a psychologist, would help. Not with your ex this time, obviously.

 

I apologize, OP, I didn't finish by offering something concrete for you. You're in a no-win situation there. If you stay there, you'll have to change your attitude toward her bf if you have any hope of feeling comfortable; you're putting yourself thru unnecessary anger and resentment = suffering. You also tend to keep yourself stuck with limited freedom if/when you want to bring a new possible love-interest home. As mentioned by another responder, I think it would appear strange and a bit odd to anyone you date/bring home as to why you're still there with your ex and her bf. You're standing in the way of their ability to make the apartment their home and share intimacy. You don't appear to be an independent man who is fully available when you're still surrounded by the energy and trappings of your most recent love-interest.

In spite of all your reasons and justifications, I don't feel you're ready to admit it it's over and move on, or you would have. Your ex may be being "nice" by letting you stay. Take out an add "looking for a roommate." You'll have to put yourself thru the temporary inconvenience of roommate and apartment shopping and say goodbye to your ex.

 

Already found the problem. It's an awful idea to live with your ex.

If you choose to do so regardless, you just won't have a say in who she dates and very limited say on wether she brings her boyfriend home. So either suck it up or come in terms with the fact that either you or your ex has to move out.

 

Basic solution, I’m sure it has already been said here, but, move out. I love my mom but I absolutely could not live with her. I’m 23, and need my own personal space, I have my own lifestyle, I have my own beliefs that differ from my mom’s. That does not mean that I don’t love her. She understands. If your ex does not understand you wanting to move out and get’s mad or something, then she in fact was just using you and is not that good of a person. But if she does understand, no strings attached, then she may be a good friend.

 

This ^

That, or either get back with her. Because she might try to make you jealous for this reason.

Your feelings are betraying your true emotions.

You know it as well, you are just in denial.

I don't think you are happy about her, I think that's just your way to cope. And it's okay to be unhappy about her. You don't owe her anything, you broke up.

Based on your words, you shouldn't have any issue with her boyfriend, but you clearly due, so your words don't really reflect your true feelings. I'm not saying you are lying to us, I don't think that is the case, I think you are lying to yourself.

 

lol I think OP is trolling lol

 

You need to move out. Living with an ex never works out. Been there, s
Done that. I've also been the new boyfriend of a girl living with an ex. Bad juju.

 

I'm trying to disagree with everything @AbTheAb is saying, but I can't. She's using both of you and that's no good.

 

You need to move out, regardless. Change the dynamic a bit. Allow you both to clear the air and clear some headspace. I think any guy would rub the wrong way in this situation.

 

As a Firebender once said: “Dude that’s rough.”

Firstly I think you need to get out of the living situations. It may be nice living with a gal but i’ve seen a few of my buddies get strap into dealing with them on close quarters. It’s not pretty at all no matter how those feelings come across for them still. You’re gonna see the guy more often for sure, more importantly the Woman is going to move on so fast it’s going to be so unfair when you’re dealing with the new guy shit. I’ve had this happen with my first gf who dated a guy the day after we broke things off.

I would have been fine if it was like a week but literally day after I saw photos online. It’s horrid. It’s like every time I saw her I grew sad and depressed like I was nothing.

What we can do bro is honestly let them go. Get a good group of friends that you can hang with to get over her. Act like you are living such a better life with out her, sing in the shower, post positivity on fb or where ever you talk. If you can get out when she’s there get out! Silence is louder than words trust me in this one.


I wasted months on feeling sorry for myself and it wasn’t worth all the anger, sorrow, or unwanted feelings.

 

I feel allot know what hey are doing, they just don’t care. It’s really sad and pitiful because they cover up their emotions with moving on so quickly and not giving a damn. It took over two weeks to make my first gf realize I was heart broken over us. Was like no remorse thoughts came into play but I’m gonna focus on myself. lol