35 and Older Accountability Group

good luck bros!

 

Checking in. - Still clean and relatively stable at the moment. I even had multiple opportunities to act out but feeling my internal guards coming also more into place, let alone my usual precautions like bouncing the eyes, not looking at psubs and evicting as quick as possible any lust thoughts. Treating older women as mothers and younger women as sisters. It’s all helping
I’m also still pumped with my current project which adds to the overall good place.

 

I don't know where my motivation has vanished suddenly. Since last two days I don' feel any motivation to do anything. I forced myself for workout yesterday. What do you think guys, can be it because of lack of energy? Or because I watched triggers and messed dopamine levels again. I honestly admit that I had watched triggers voluntarily and even tried to enjoy watching them. But not watched anything last couple days.
Should I reset my counter ?

 

For me p-subs are just like p. I use them in the same way I use p, although without MO. Similar dopamine hit, that's why I reset yesterday. I also need to be fully accountable.and

 

I have some ups and downs like this when on a good streak. I think it's normal. It's easier to maintain a constant low energy with pmo, but when it's gone, things can go mostly up but sometimes down. When I'm at my best, I just roll with it and wait for the motivation to come back. Let us know how it goes.

 

Maybe reset your account isn't a good idea just for a moment of weakness. I think if you keep your score it would be a better motivation. But it's up to you. P-subs is what it is not porn but subs... Just think... don't flirt with it cause you re loosing power.

 

I wouldn't reset. Don't do any more psubs, see if you feel better over the next week or 2.

It's also a good opportunity to figure out why you watching psubs. For me, unhealthy food has been a big trigger for heading down that road. I wouldn't be surprised if there was an actual trigger that caused you to look at psubs.

 

Overcoming urges today.

 

Thank you bro. I won't watch any psubs and will check how I feel. It takes around a week for me to feel better. My brain is tricking me for a full relapse saying I would be more serious about next streak if I relapse. But that is not going to work I know. I need to learn to be serious at any point in a streak, not just after relapsing. We can conclude that psubs, triggers also kills the motivation exactly same way as PMO does. May be this is not the case with people who are not addicts but for us even a little dopamine rush from that exact 'substance' makes us zombies because our brain has got a habit to corrupt itself after seeing this substance.

 

Yes definitely, I am loosing power due to this. This is a lesson for me. Hopefully I haven't fully relapsed yet. I will go on without watching any triggers, psubs but I will reset the counter if I do it again. I am sure that I will regain the motivation if I go absolutely clean a few days. But it is damn hard.

 

Thanks brother, I have decided to do the same. I need to damn serious next few days and do my best to avoid any triggers, psubs and hopefully motivation will come back. I am not having inner push to do workout today as well even though sleep was good. But I will force myself by starting small stretches and increasing momentum.

 

Thanks for replying mate. I afraid it will cause a full relapse and then a series of relapses if I reset my counter. So I am reluctant to reset counter at this moment. I agree with being fully accountable and I would reset if I do p-subs again. I am taking this as part of battle for this time. Yes, it gives similar dopamine hit and similar symptoms like loosing motivation, social anxiety, shyness, brain fog, procrastination. It is equally bad for us addicts.

 

Thanks captain. I am back on course. I don't want to lose.

 

Apart from lack of motivation, I think I have been eating too less calories last few days. May be that is also a reason for low energy. I want to be bigger but also want to lose fat on unwanted areas. I am on my own on this track. I am not sure if I am doing it right but I have lost much of fat. But may be it is not good for muscles. I have increased protein intake, but it doesn't seem enough. May be I need to increase calories and do more cardio to maintain weight and gain muscles ? Or is it the same?

I don't have enough money to spend on expert coach or trainer. I can spend it on diet instead.

 

One suggestion I can make that might help is drinking enough fluids. Push yourself up to 2 litres per day, and see if it helps.

 

Didn't play but watched porn by mistake, I was 4 days in.

Reset

 

Thank you. I am already drinking more than 3 litres of water daily. But not other fluids like juice, cold drinks etc.

 

Reset for me.

I had a very busy 24 hours that ended with an argument with the wife. We haven't had an argument like that in a while. The end result was my giving in to M, but not P.

The way I was feeling about it actually had very little to do with my wife, and a whole lot to do with how I feel about myself. Which is to say that I generally have a low opinion of myself, and at times like this all of my disappointment/anger/general unhappiness is turned inwards and directed at myself. I expect I will never be 100% free of this addiction until I deal with this underlying issue.

 

Stumbling a bit on the start line, reset twice yesterday. Today is an office day though, so should be a bit easier for me to push to at least 1.

Is amazing how easy it is to regress when you're not paying attention/putting full focus into it.

Been having some chats with a friend who is also going through this, and we've identified three major issues in our lives... Fapping, Uber Eats/Fast Food, and YouTube. Previously I've tried to hit them one at a time, but now going to completely shut down YouTube watching for a while, (was doing like 4 hrs a day) and see if that makes it easier to start a streak.