COMING BACK AFTER 2 YEARS AWAY.....

Hey HTL. I like what you had to say about honesty with your gf. It sounds like you know you have a problem and have some natural inclination to do the right thing.

Long distance is really hard. I have done it before and one of the big reasons it worked (and not always well or smoothly mind you) was because our intimacy (I mean connection here) was so good. In my understanding and experience it is very difficult to have that kind of intimacy when you are hiding big things from your significant other.

Let me be crystal clear here. Honesty is something I treasure. Many times in my past I have been transparent to a fault, and to my detriment. I don't want you to have the impression that I'm trying to give you advice. Mainly I just want to recognize that it takes guts to own up to your shortcomings, even among strangers, and it takes guts to do the right thing.

If I were to give you advice I think you know what it would be.

To the heart of the matter. Relieving sexual tension.

Some of the usual questions here are, in no particular order:

What does your exercise routine look like?
What do your relationships (you know, of the non-grabby/moany variety) look like and how fulfilled are you in them?
How meaningful is your professional life to you?
Do you have any kind of creative life, and how fulfilled are you by it?

You don't have to answer those questions, but I would strongly recommend you wrestle with them. Not only will that give you some profitable roads to look at, it'll keep your mind occupied in the mean time.

It's been a while since I've been on NF because most of my NoFap life has been in the context of my spiritual tradition and more or less alone in terms of talking about it. But I seem to remember a really awesome guide by Underdog that a number of members could probably point your towards. The Reader's Digest version is don't make not PMO-ing your goal, make living your ideal life your goal, and fight to achieve it.

Good luck.

 

I think you need to come clean to your girlfriend, you cannot build a relationship on lies. It's honestly really shitty to look into your girlfriend's eyes and remember what you have done, it haunts you. I know you're probably thinking "why should I tell her? She'll dump me." Let her make the choice. If she did the same to you how would you feel? I can tell you it's hard to tell someone you hurt them but in the end it'll weight you down. It's not fair to her or your recovery to hold in such a secret, it's better you tell her instead of her finding out. Honesty is key and allows to build an even better relationship. It will also give you better accountability to continue on a completely clean slate rather than a hidden agenda. I hope everything works out for you, stay strong.

 

That's fantastic! I wish you and your girlfriend the absolute best!!

 

Hey man

First of all, good luck on your journey. I did see this quote of yours (as per above): how can you release your sexual tension without your girlfriend? Well this is one of the trickier parts of nofap/ rebooting, but basically you need to learn to be able to withhold your sexual energy, and either rely on wet dreams for release, or with your girlfriend, or both. There are other means to expel sexual energy other than through orgasm. Such practices are referred to as 'sexual transmutation'. If you're looking for inspiration for transmutation techniques or techniques to use to negate urges, I suggest checking out this guide that I made, particularly with reference to the "Make an Action Plan" section.

Best wishes

 

Oh dear. I know from experience that injuring yourself, especially re-injuring yourself can be one of the most frustrating things ever. Try not to let it get you down though. Wait for your body to heal, and then try again. If it's especially problematic you may benefit from seeing some sort of professional/ therapist (physio, osteo, chiro etc), depending on what it is.

Ah yes, I have been caught out by tumblr and twitter before. To be honest, it is best to simply block them. You can do so with web protection software. I use K9. Although, it may be fun to use tumblr or twitter socially, the risk of relapsing is too great in my opinion, due to the abundance of porn on both sites. Facebook is a much safer bet for social networking.

Indeed, move on. Get back up and try again.

 

Does your GF know? She is the person you need to be confessing to, not us.