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Is this God's punishment for my sins?

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by darkghost709, Mar 16, 2023.

  1. darkghost709

    darkghost709 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I deleted most of them, like I still have the accounts because I need to find useful information but I only use them when I'm in my laptop but in an "in and out" thing, like I go there, look for information about the topic I'm interested in and then I leave
     
  2. EnlightenBrain

    EnlightenBrain Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, bro. Try to understand. What useful info about you're submitting are trashes. And I again confirm it. Because, your life is in danger. And its already corrupted and beacuse, you may never get married or loved with anyone. If those info are really important, then leave the responsibility of it and instead give this to a family member. She/he will handle it. You are providing lame excuses. Steps for the laptop are as same for the phone. If you wanna free yourself, You must take some big decisions.
     
  3. darkghost709

    darkghost709 Fapstronaut

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    Okay I will, I went through a phase in quarantine where I didn't use any social media for two months and I actually felt better so I know I can do it. But do you think I will never be loved by anyone because I'm corrupted? If I do all this stuff and quit, will that change? Will there be a chance of me finding someone?
     
  4. F14

    F14 Fapstronaut

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    Trust the process, leave the results to God and his plan for you. Only He knows your future. We know that if you do all this stuff you will get more out of your life, for now that is worth it.
     
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2023
    Mara43 and Buddhabro2.0 like this.
  5. EnlightenBrain

    EnlightenBrain Fapstronaut

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    The answer is hidden in you.

    Just look at the birds, bro. How two birds sit and fly together. Will you not learn anything from them?

    How your parents stay organized. Will you not learn anything from them?

    Theres two oposite terminals on a battery. Will you not learn anything from them?

    If not. I confirm, you don't belong to this earth therefore not a human. How to check if you are a human? Search on google.
     
  6. darkghost709

    darkghost709 Fapstronaut

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    You're right, at the end of the day no one knows the outcome but it's worth the effort because I loathe my previous life, honestly
     
    F14 likes this.
  7. darkghost709

    darkghost709 Fapstronaut

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    I mean, the other day I felt a lot of remorse over the messed up things I used to watch and I began to cry/sob so I still have my emotions, that would make me human, wouldn't it?
     
    F14 likes this.
  8. darkghost709

    darkghost709 Fapstronaut

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    I wrote this post because I'm actually terrefied of what I've become and I'm willing to go as far as I need to to move on from this hell so I definitely feel fear.

    So do you think it's reversible? Like I'm willing to do the big change, I even started doing it before posting this as I mentioned earlier I deleted all my porn. So can I become human again?
     
  9. EnlightenBrain

    EnlightenBrain Fapstronaut

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    Yes and I again say Yes. Because, you developed a bad past. So, pretty sure your mind changed because of that. [ Don't think you're smart. Cause, your bad decisions created this current you. So, be careful about yourself. As you know you're suspicious and you often take wrong decisions ]

    Religion can play a huge role. Search on Youtube Islam vs Christanity vs Buddhism vs Hinduism. After research, take the most accurate and scientific religion. [ Catholic not recommended. why? search google. ]

    Take care. ByE.
     
  10. F14

    F14 Fapstronaut

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    I would not recommend hurting yourself, you sound like you are hurt enough by your past already. But I would recommend intentional hardship. Look at cold showers/ice baths, lifting heavy weights, endurance events like what goruck offers. Going through these kinds of things has a purpose, bending your body and mind to your will. You won’t want to get in an ice bath but the act of doing it helps you to be able to fight against things your body is telling you. That is a valuable skill that will help you to train your mind to what is good and abandon the pathways you have created of what is bad. For more on this listen to Jocko Willink.

    Stick with Christianity. Catholicism has its pluses and it’s negatives, like the rest. It comes down to the congregation/perish in your area. Some of my best friends are Catholics, and while we do have theological disagreements I can confidently say God is working with them through their Catholic Church.
     
  11. darkghost709

    darkghost709 Fapstronaut

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    I used to take cold showers so I understand what you mean, there's something about them that makes you stronger mentally, it's like an internal battle. Because at the end of the day it's you vs you during the cold shower, no one is looking if you have it in cold mode, no one but you. So it's a test of integrity. I need to implement them again in my life.

    And yes, one of the men I admire the most is C.S Lewis, and even though he was anglican he believed in purgatory so I think his point of view about christianity wasn't too different from the catholic one
     
    Mara43 likes this.
  12. F14

    F14 Fapstronaut

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    Lewis is great and was very helpful in my journey. Not sure if you’ve read Chesterton but if not I HIGHLY recommend him. He’s probably my favorite catholic writer.
     
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  13. darkghost709

    darkghost709 Fapstronaut

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    I THINK I've heard of him but I definitely don't know a lot about him but I will check him out, thank you! I was focusing more on the Saints for now to look for inspiration but I could use my time away from the internet as an opportunity to read more so I will add Chesterton to my list
     
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  14. Is God punishing you for your sins?

    No. God does not punish you.
    It's you who brought this upon your own shoulders. In fact you punished yourself.
    God is still the same: He loves you without conditions and He longs to hear from you. He wants you to confess what you did wrong. Then He will show you mercy and forgiveness. With His love you will be able to forgive yourself.

    You don't need to cut yourself
    You don't need cold showers
    You need an empathic ear to listen. And you need mercy.

    God still loves you. He always did and will always do.

    And you did not commit the unforgivable sin. Confess what you said and you will receive mercy.
     
  15. F14

    F14 Fapstronaut

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    Very well said, I’m in complete agreement.
     
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2023
    Buddhabro2.0 and Roady like this.
  16. liveFreeOrDie

    liveFreeOrDie Fapstronaut

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    In Christian theology, the Holy Spirit is the one who brings remorse for sin. So if you are concerned about having committed the unforgivable sin, it's pretty strong evidence of the Holy Spirit working in your heart, which implies you haven't committed the unforgivable sin.

    Yes. You CAN be forgiven.
    Yes. You CAN heal.
    No, it won't be easy, but you CAN do something about that, and you've already started. Finding a religious community to be a part of is probably a great idea.

    You just got to be in it for the long haul. No matter what happens or how you mess up, you get up and fight on.

    Something's that's always meant allot to me is the story of the woman caught in adultery. After dealing with the Pharisees, Jesus lifts her up and tells her, "... Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more." That's what Jesus does every time we fall. He doesn't condemn us, but picks us up lovingly, no matter how many times, how badly, or how often, forgives us, and instructs us once again to go and sin no more.

    Personally, I can think of no better reason to struggle on.
     
  17. Avon support you

    Avon support you Fapstronaut

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    Bro, it is tough but not impossible to get through this. Porn will bring you down and prevent you from seeing the best of yourself. For the damage caused, it can be recovered but a series of good life habit is very much needed. E.g. Early sleep before 12, sports and stop imagining women. It takes time, but you will surely see result if you do it right (many success stories listed in forum).

    After all, what we want is to rebuild our life, and natural appreciation of woman (their character) is a part of it. But at the beginning stage, it is better to cut off all possible trigger in life and social media for your own good, and to focus on what you really should do (e.g. work, learning, sports). Only by that you can get rid of porn triggers safely, and one day you will be free from it.

    You are not alone. Feel free to talk to us!

    Written by someone who have been down this road before.
     
  18. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    @darkghost709 it's abhorrent that you're being encouraged to commit acts of self-harm. I would urge you to ignore such advice.

    I don't think you're a pedo because you pictured yourself as a little kid having sex with women. If you were a pedo it would be the other way around. I expect you will recover in time if you stop looking at porn.

    You might be interested in an episode of Hidden Brain. In it they talk to a woman who had an affair with a married man. She talks about how she overcame the guilt she felt from having the affair.

    https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/being-kind-to-yourself/
     
    F14 likes this.
  19. Check out this article in this topic. Many people misunderstand what it means to actually blaspheme the Holy Spirit.
     
  20. Fireofdesire

    Fireofdesire Fapstronaut

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    I think it is all reversible but I believe the longer you view a certain genre of P you eventually escalate to something worse after you get bored with it. So you need to decide where your morals stand, draw the line there, that's what I did. Samr I haven't had arousal for the opposite sex in years but MO still works. Also I don't think you're a pedo based on the way you fantasized. You were a kid at the time. Draw the line
     

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