Overcoming shame

Supper great that you are seeing improvements. Keep up the good work

 

ummmp there goes gravity.

 

Congrats! Keep it going.
But don't beat yourself up over lustful thoughts. Those are biological, and they will come.
It is *dwelling* on them that becomes problematic.

I say this from experience. I user to have terrible guilt over lustful thoughts, and I would feel so discouraged that I would just say "what the hell" and would lead to a full relapse.

My advice is: get a long way down getting off the P and M, and you will find it a lot easier to not dwell on the lustful thoughts.

 

Welcome back to reality although day 76 is early. After 2-3 years, you will be back to factory settings.

 

I think reboot would do you really good. I felt better than most people because I could not interact with them or engage them in conversation. I thought it was them being weird and unfriendly. Nothing further from the truth. It was me all along. I know I have a problem as I cannot stop MO. Being addicted to anything would carry weird symptoms with it. Maybe yours would improve once you stop the addiction.

 

How your style and fashion? Now that you're changing and also doing things to get fitter, you might find that stuff like that can really elevate your esteem even more, its about volume the powerful feeling you have when you're around the average fapper will increase even more when you enhance your wardrobe, it just occurred to me now and its another thing I have to look into improving and it will be a key to my self improvement. So far I've got nofap, fitness & diet, spirituality and self education. Every I do a man should have impact on the way I feel and my self worth a as male, even the smallest of things should matter, the way I walk, the clothing I choose to buy and wear and the hair style I get.

The individuality mindset is whats needed. But at the end of the day you are what makes these things, they don't make you and own you, all the things are interpreted differently when it comes to every individual, fitness, spirituality, style ect. all mean different things to everyone. Ultimately its you who has to add meaning to them according to your life and the person you envision yourself to be.

 

Thats nice.

 

I agree on the self-esteem of dressing better. My life seldom requires more than casual attire, but I try to avoid looking sloppy at all costs. I've lost 15 pounds from better diet and exercise that have been motivated by not fapping. That has allowed me to get into six pairs of tighter jeans that I haven't been able to wear in a few years. They're only one inch smaller in waist size, but they're cut slimmer all over. I've been wearing them for over a week now, and they show me off as only slim jeans can (if you know what I mean), which has boosted my masculine self-concept significantly. Woo-hoo! (I don't mean that I'm trying to look sexy to lure a partner. It just makes me feel great about myself.)

 

it feels great doesn't it? Shaping how you look via working out, shoulders, chest and arms and picking awesome clothes that fit you nicely. It really does something and makes you walk like you own the street or building, I need to get back into that. Its more self improvement but the convo kinda went here. The overall goal is too long masculine just like women go out of their way to look feminine, now thats not to say that you don't look like a man or women don't look like women but things like picking out stylish new clothes and working out accentuates those features and in turn makes you look badass. Think James Bond.

 

I'm a little confused. Does it make you feel good or bad that you feel better than your friends? You use words like "abilities" which is positive, but also words like "snobbish" which is negative. People seem to be praising you for the power you feel, but not addressing the negative feelings (if you think they're negative that is). So I am unsure how to respond to your posts. Great work on the sobriety btw!

 

Friendship is worth something! Just ask somebody who has no friends. If you want to relate better with your friends, be friendly. Be conscious of showing them that you value them--little unexpected favors, offers to help, thank-yous, etc. You can't herd your friends along with you in your self-improvement, but if you don't turn them off with snobbishness, you might manage to inspire them to better themselves by your example. If not, they're still your friends. Treat them accordingly.

 

You can ask me, friendship doesn't really mean much to me, I have many acquaintances but friends I don't really have time for especially, they are draining and always want you to be on their level rather than elevating themselves. I'm probably the wrong person to ask but... self mastery > friends. I'd expect my acquaintances to have a sort of elitist mindset, you are who you're friends are but in my case, you are who you're acquaintances are and they're all self centered and self reliant, they save their money and aspire to own their own house and be their own boss, my attitude is you're either winning or losing and its fluctuates as you go on but I'll drop a friend that doesn't want to be on my level or aspire to be greater than me even if hes nice. Not a popular opinion but its how I am right now, I was much different in my 20s mind you. So I don't see anything wrong with TheChosenOne's mindset, hes developing in his own way.