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Looking at this from A Larger Perspective

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by SolidStance, Nov 9, 2015.

  1. We must look at this recovery from a larger perspective. It has to be bigger than just you and me, it has to be about all of us. Holding this new, larger perspective, we can begin to sense what it’s like to be counted on. We need to be held accountable. For too long this secret, silent addiction has gone without notice from outside sources. So what can we do to feel responsible, to feel that we have the ability to choose our response?

    We must look at this as a whole. We are all with each other when we are working, eating, sleeping, and especially behind a computer screen. We are there with you. We all must exist in your mind, you will need it most when the desire strikes.

    So in thinking from a larger, group perspective, we can see that when you succeed—when you conquer your desires and become a master over your mind, body and emotions—we all succeed. The whole group is raised that much higher; everything feels slightly better than it did yesterday. Everyone feels this and might not even know why.

    Likewise, when you slip, we all feel that too. We can sense the overall morale is lower. We don’t even have to ask, we just know. We know because, as we learn more about our nature and our tendencies, we become more refined, more sensitive. I’m not talking about an emotional sensitivity, I’m talking about a clear mind, so clear that we have the ability to see and feel a little better than most people.

    This is what it feels like to be at war or on the field with a team, on the ice or on the court. The group mentality means everyone makes this happen. We don’t stand out as individuals; our actions now have the potential to effect the many. Try to keep this in mind. This is why I like to say “Your win, is my win, is our win.” or “Your strength, is my strength, is our strength.” I truly believe it and I think it’s this mentality that has finally given me the upper hand over this addiction. To succeed at this, or any goal in life, we have to support and uplift the people around us. I care more about how everyone is doing today and I ask myself “Did anyone relapse? Why? Is there something I can do to help?” Ask those questions and become a part of this group. We extend outside these walls. We represent anyone who falls to any addiction. The Heirs stand for anyone who has experienced loss or confusion. Empowering others will be one of your most powerful weapons.

    This can’t just be about you or me anymore. It has to be much, much bigger than that.

    This is how the saints do it. This is how they struggle day in and day out to help others. Once you start living for other people, life takes on a whole new meaning.

    “Detachment means not to be caught by the glamour of the physical, emotional or mental possessions you may have. As a person detaches, he becomes more involved in life in such a way that he is not involved in personal interests but in doing something good for the whole world.” ~Torkom Saraydarian

    “The essence of spirituality and mysticism is readiness to serve the person next to us.” ~Hazrat Inayat Khan

    By thinking of others we improve our own situation. “Trust is the highest form of human motivation”. So try to earn someones trust and be motivated by it. Know that others are depending on you. That’s how the saints do it, except they reach the masses. Just try to reach one person.

    You need to start helping others. Trust is the highest form of human motivation. Helping others makes you responsible. That responsibility gives you purpose. That purpose gives you drive. Drive will bring challenges. Conquer the small challenges little by little and build willpower. You become motivated to continue and change yourself in the process.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 8, 2016
  2. JoePineapples

    JoePineapples Fapstronaut

    Well said fella, great post
     
    SolidStance likes this.
  3. Jodokus

    Jodokus Fapstronaut

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    The best post I've read since long.
    I can totally relate to it. Now I understand better what you meant before when you advised me.

    Thank you for giving us this larger perspective! You didn't just give something to everyone who reads this, you're giving benefit for the whole community with every pair of eyes who reads this.
     
  4. Last edited: Nov 22, 2015
  5. Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad that the post was able to create self-reflection. I have more posts coming...

    Being 40 days clean is really clearing any writers block I once had.
     
    Mighty Wolf and JoePineapples like this.
  6. This cant just be about you or me. It has to be much, much bigger than that.

    This is how the saints do it. This is how they struggle, day in and day out to help others. Once you start living for other people, life takes on a whole new meaning.

    Detachment means not to be caught by the glamor of the physical, emotional or mental possessions you may have. As a person detaches, he becomes more involved in life in such a way that he is not involved in personal interests but in doing something good for the whole world. ~Torkom Saraydarian

    The essence of spirituality and mysticism is readiness to serve the person next to us. ~Hazrat Inayat Khan

    By thinking of others we improve our own situation. "Trust is the highest form of human motivation". So try to earn someones trust and be motivated by it. Know that others are depending on you, thats how the saints do it, except they reach the masses. Just try to reach one person.

    What if your success was felt by the masses, what if your slip was also felt. People around you can feel whats happening. Imagine that when you do not give in to desire, others can be uplifted by your presence. No one will even know why, but the office, the field, the classroom, everything will be better, just a little. Things will click, you will be on time, things will go smoother. Theres only one way to find out.
     
  7. purifyingmind@02

    purifyingmind@02 Fapstronaut

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    Great thank you! you win! I win! we all win!
     
    SolidStance likes this.
  8. Jodokus

    Jodokus Fapstronaut

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    I have disappointed myself and I have disappointed my loved ones. Those experiences often hinder me to achieve something. Especially to achieve something for the sake of others is something I really want but can't do anymore. I don't have a clue how to do it. It doesn't give me the motivation it should.
    Any advice?
     
  9. Lets break this down.

    You say you have disappointed yourself and loved ones. While this may be true, it is only temporary. If we make withdrawals with other people, we have to learn then how to begin making deposits. We have to show people we are aware of them and that we understand their situation.

    You say those experiences hinder you to achieve something. The hindering is not in the experience. The pain you carry with you is the hindrance, the memory. It is an illusion, it is gone and over. Today is a new opportunity for change. Every second we decide what to do. Don't get hung up on what happened, live out of your imagination, live out of the "could be" not the "has been".

    You say achieving something for the sake of others is something you can't do. This is false. You have created a self fulfilling prophecy and you are forcing it to come true. Watch your language. Your language and thoughts create the world around you. It is time to be positive, it is time to start making new affirmations for the goals you wish to achieve.

    You say you don't know how to do it. Find out what it is, then make small steps in doing it. Use your new affirmation and start living with right thought and right action. Don't set the bar too high or else you are setting up for disappointment.

    One of the biggest concerns people have is the worry of mattering to you. Most of the time people just want to know that you see them, that you feel them, that you understand them. Sometimes all you have to do is listen and repeat back what you understand they said. This is called psychological air, people need to breathe around you. Let them breathe without judgment. Just use real listening and often that can be enough. Real listening is listening without the intention to speak. As they are speaking to you you're not thinking about your next word that comes out of your mouth.

    Give people small compliments, it could mean the world to them. Don't judge, just empathize. That means feeling how they do, not agreeing, thats sympathy. Sense their needs before they ask and genuinely apologize when needed.
     
    Jodokus likes this.
  10. Jodokus

    Jodokus Fapstronaut

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    Thank you! Your words were very helpful.
     
  11. Edited to reflect the chapter in the manual
     

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