Isolation and the "chief feature"

Isolation is kind of the air that I have breathed for most of my life. I know it very well. I daresay solitary confinement wouldn't destroy me, although not preferable. It has created an imbalance in me, and though I have suffered much, I have come to see that it has given me a level of understanding that I would not have had otherwise if I had not suffered. I actually appreciate my suffering now.

But as a result I do see now, that there is knowledge of the mind, and knowledge of the body and the heart. As Plato outlined in the Republic, the mind may rule the soul, but heart and body make us alive.

This is, of course, tied up in pornography, masturbation, distraction, and courage, or lack thereof. When the vital force is lost, there is no physical impetus, desire, energy to go out and make contact, connection, or conflict with other beings. I believe Swami Vivakananda was correct when he said masturbation is the slayer of atman or the soul.

I had deliberated on working from home due to the ease of it and the convenience, but another part of me thinks that being forced to be around other people (the real world) for 8 hours a day is a healthier thing psychologically. As much as it may distress me sometimes. There is a concept G.I. Gurdjieff talked about called one's "chief feature" that one can work with. One it may be fear, another narcissism or arrogance, but this feature is a key to reintegrating the neglected part of one's life.

When we are talking about isolation, it is almost always self-imposed. So the question is --- what is your chief feature? If you desire contact, what is keeping you from it?

This is an exercise intended to get you thinking about the root of your isolation.

http://ggurdjieff.com/chief-fault/

 

People who are incapable of taking other people's suffering are little minds, I think. They fear that they're too weak not to be infected by someone else's mood. I think it is a weakness not to be able to understand or tolerate another person's humanity. Ironically vulnerability is quite a deep source of power within a person. You don't even have to spend very much time with them. Just listening to them and putting their hand on their shoulder and letting them know that you share a common humanity is often enough. We just need reminder every so often that things are not as bad as we make them out to be and we're going to be ok.

My chief fault is keeping my shield up constantly or avoiding things in the face of potential pain. It's a very common vice to have. It's not illogical. It's very rational, to protect yourself, but this is when a fortress becomes a prison. The foundation of this prison is pornography, most definitely.

I want to stimulate minds but I can never be sure if I'm talking nonsense or over people's heads or what. I have a tendency to ramble on or wax poetic. I have begun to assume that most people would prefer that I phrase things in such a way that's a little more down to earth. I can't assume that everyone is going to think like me --- that's downright silly. The best artists use an understandable style as well as content.