Coping with Loneliness

Go to places where people go that share your interests (church, fitness club, school, library, etc.). Your job is to make the effort. With time, you will find that right one. Don't rush it. Everything will occur in its perfect due time. You seem like a smart guy. There is no way that the girl of your dreams is not out there. I wish you success. Stay strong.

 

One option is to change your word choice. Coping to me feels more like adapting and accepting things as the way they are. If you change coping to reacting, you can fundamentally change your life situation. React and you gain a measure of control that you don't have right now. In short, I'd make an action plan to get out of your current status rather than just cope. Practice it deliberately just like you might practice to improve a golf game. You may fail initially, but what better way to learn than to put yourself out there and try different possible solutions.

You may want to dig into the patterns you find in your past pursuits and understand why they failed (same as the need to understand why a person might relapse). You could be setting an unrealistic target and find yourself always pursuing. Another tactic is to look for signs of initial interest from females that you meet and don't engage until you notice some fairly obvious signs of interest. I use a similar technique with online dating and have had good success. It is amazing how much better your odds look when the girl you are meeting for coffee was the first to message you! Changes the game of chance.

 

it gets old after a while, how do I cope? I will have to think about that. now that I am done with p subs. and not even any lady friends, not even just friend type situations, I know how your feeling, it is no fun, I don't think there is any coping for me, being on NoFap is how I cope.

 

I don't cope. I relish in it.
I'm desperately searching to be alone with my thoughts after a busy day at the office where co-workers talk crap or ask me inane questions.

 

It depends whether you perceive loneliness as a fulfillment or as a fault.
I don't believe in loneliness, I believe in being alone.
And often, it is by my own choosing.

Sometimes, I even run from myself and start chatting people up.
It comes naturally when you're out there, in the open.
But also, after you reach a certain age only a distinct breed of people get you out of your shell.
The ones that don't judge. For example.

 

You sound Stoic.
Good.

That means you're on the right path.