Gronial Response Gay OCD

Right. As i understand it. You suffered a reaction upon bodily contact with a particular male co-worker whist you were engaged in a 'erp centric OCD suppresion activity' (are you sure that the co-worker bumping into you didn't throw off your train of thought and invoke ERP related thoughts directly into you?)

Doesn't nessecarily mean you are 'gay' (not that, that is explicitly a negative thing in itself) just that your sexuality perhaps may extend to that particular person based off something. Saying you're gay is pretty much streamlining yourself to men as primary preference, as opposed to 'bisexual/bi-curious' which is more open to both if you really need to classify for your own state of mind.

Trying to accept it happened rather than put yourself in a harmful state of self denial and moving on is what i'd prescribe for you personally, though i understand and sympathise if your OCD has created this anxiety for you about it. If you really need to, discuss it with your co-worker, hopefully to spare you further embarrassment they'll try and avoid doing it again and perhaps putting up a 'do not disturb' post it note to alert others not to come near would be helpful.

I've had 'groinal responses' to men with long hair, that could be mistaken for women (and it didn't go away when they turned around) in a spate of confusion, doesn't particularly mean much but if you want a example, there's one for you.

 

Look man, being a gay means you love a man as he is your lover, you want to spend your life with a man, or even have some crushes and romantic feelings towards men or boys "whatever", wanna marry a man and make a family bla bla bla, that is the real meaning of being gay.
Getting aroused by gay porn or by gay fantasies doesn't mean you are actually gay.

 

It's not about what you feel around the groin area. Or something like that. Like Elnayeeeek said, getting aroused by gay porn or gay fantasies is irelevant. And if you say to yourself that you're sure you don't like gay stuff, your OCD can make everything to provey ou the opposite. And since it's something you're obsessing about, you won't have clear answer by watching gay stuff or something like that. It's also totaly useless because in the end, you don't want to watch these things, you watch these to experiment and to get an answer. A groinal response can be due to many reasons, it's not necessary something you want to do. Also, it happens with many sexual thoughts, whatever they may be, so it doesn't mean anything at all. In fact, you have groinal response because you're afraid and anxious. Something irelevant can make you have a groinal response.

What is important, it's about what you want and what you feel comfortable about. It's that simple in fact, but your OCD will make something that simple into something more complex than it really is. If you sudenly fear you might be gay, then think about how much fear you feel to know that it's your OCD. The more you fear, the more you know it's OCD. It's that simple. For exemple, you think you're doing good then you fear that it's wrong and you're actually gay. Do you think that if you were gay, you would be that worry ? I don't think so, because you would feel good about having gay relationship, romantic, sexual etc. And when you feel fear when someone talks about gay stuff, do you think it means you're gay ? In fact it's the opposite. If you were actually gay, you would not feel that much fear, you would not obsess over it, it would be okay for you, it would just be you. But here seems like it's confusing you and you don't recognize yourself.

Next thing will be a little contradictory but see it as rationalizing the problem. Feel that you don't care if you're gay or not, feel that it doesn't change you, it doesn't change what you like to do, what you enjoy in life and all. It's not really feeling gay, it's not carring. This attitude can prove to be the most useful answer. Because in the end, you learn to make that OCD lose it's power, y'know. And also, because you can learn what is the most important thing for you, because you can realise that if you were, it would change something important in you, you can realise who and what you are. And by realising that, you can learn that it's actually all bulshit, just a fear playing with you.

Of course, I know that saying to yourself "being gay ? Oh well, I don't care" is not an easy task, first reason is because you interpret that as a "defeat" and as saying "Okay, I'm gay.". It's not. It's just saying putting thing in their place, I'm aware you feel fear, but be conscious that being gay is not taking a gun and explosing your brain, or falling from an airplane. In fact it's a battle to rationalize.
Personnally, I think people affected by that OCD already have the answer. The problem is that they probably experienced some traumas, and most of all, they lack self-esteem, they don't trust themself enough and they let that thing takes the lead of them.

Again, what's important for you ? Do you want to love women, do you have crush on women, women inspire you, do you imagine having romantic relationship and feeling with women ? If yes, then, you're not, IMO.