No love in a world of STDs

Well that last line is super sad. The problem isn't the world, the problem is what people are doing with their bodies. Actions have consequences, and when you sleep with anything that walks, the consequence is an STD. Theres really no point in complaining about something that's entirely avoidable. It's like complaining about processed sugar giving you diabetes, but saying you still wanna stuff your face with donuts everyday or you won't be happy. It's not the processed sugars fault.

 

I'm sorry if I'm getting totally off topic here, but you've been around for a while and I've seen a lot of your posts and this just confounds me, so I'm gonna ask you a rhetorical question. You don't have to answer, I don't want to start a debate, and it's none of my business, but it makes me sad to see people who are blinded by things so here goes.

Are you really happy by hooking up with as many girls as possible? Has that actually made you happy? You might be a happy person, and if so that's great, but is that really a result of sex with tons of women? Because the evidence that I see, as an outsider following your story, is that sex with woman after woman after woman has left you with no clear purpose in life, sexual frustration, porn addiction, STDs, and loneliness. So I'm confused as to why you still believe that that path is going to lead you to happiness when the evidence and past experience has so blatantly proven otherwise.

 

Nothing wrong at all with being honest. I wouldn't want anything less. And I don't want you to feel like you have to explain or defend yourself to me, because your life is your life. You can make your own choices. I just want to see you thrive and I feel like you're not, and I hope someday you realize the reason behind that.

One thing I want to say is that you're wrong about all guys feeling the way you do about girls, that sex is all they're for and there's no reason to have a relationship and you can't trust them. I'm sorry you feel that way, but that is definitely not the norm. I've always had guy friends my entire life. I've hadefinitely a lot of really great relationships would guys, both of us benefiting from friendship, and only one of those relationships led to sex. I hope it's clear that I'm not trying to pick on you or judge you, I just think it's important to reveal truth, and the truth about your statement that most men feel the same way you do about women is that it's false. Most men don't feel that way, and it's not a normal, natural way to feel. You actually kind of support that truth when you say that you've had bad experiences with women and that's why you rent trust them. Your feelings about women are not natural, they're conditioned.

Anyway, I'll go read your PM now. Lol

 

It's scary how many people have unprotected sex, especially when alcohol is involved. Not only for STD's but Pregnancy.

 

you took me back to the days when I was super paranoid about STDs that at one point of my life I went and got tested every time I had sex. on a consistent basis. No lie. But it was only 3-4 times in a row. The clinic must've thought I was a sex addict or something. This was while I was wearing a condom too. What I learnt from that experience was that its better to masturbate then have causal sex which I've implemented since then. Sex is not to be played with, the very industry thats bought us to the brink of addiction and to this site have a sexually transmitted diseases infestation and somehow they still make it look glamorous, but when actresses/actors contract aids/hiv they have to call it quits. Its staggering the amount of them that died from it... Now imagine how much of the worlds population that die from it. Not saying what you should do with your penis but be careful what where you still it, you wouldn't trust letting filfth into your mind such as porn now? Why would you possibly let random filth on your sex organ. This is why short term relationships are best.

best of luck buddy.

 

I don't mean any disrespect with this comment, but don't confuse how you think with "how most guys" think. Unfortunately there is a lot of messed up shit being pushed onto men these days in the interests of "masculinity", and I can tell you from experience that 90% of it is crap. Sadly, these days, if you post crap in a youtube video and call it "self improvement", people seem to just accept it as truth without question.

I have had sex with women from every continent on Earth. Fact. Yet some of the best experiences with women have been with women that I never had sex with, or in some cases never wanted to have sex with. Maybe that's the key to enjoying interactions with women. Let go of all judgement (i.e. assessing her beauty) and expectations (i.e. will she put out?).

You see, there is nothing wrong or pussified about a man having female friends. I have female friends on three continents, and these are friendships that I value, with people I enjoy seeing. The thing is, these are real friendships. I might treat them to a meal or a night out when they visit my country, and they'll treat me when I visit theirs. One of the worst things that PMO addiction has done to me is fill my mind with bullshit, which has prevented me from having more of these friendships. Unfortunately, a lot of the "self-improvement" videos on youtube that are aimed at men are just as toxic as porn.

As for the second part of your post, well, if you don't care how someone's day was, or how they feel, it sounds like you weren't really in love. Hey, I've made this mistake too. You see a hot woman and try to convince yourself that you're in love with her. In reality, however, you don't really care about her that much. That's lust -- not love. They aren't the same thing. There's nothing wrong with pure lust, but it's best if you're honest about it with yourself and the person you're seeing.

Put it this way, if you're ready to dump a woman who doesn't put out in the first three days, that's lust. If it was love, you wouldn't care so much about sex.

 

I agree with you Taking the Steps.
Golgo13, you can "coolidge" all the women on this rock ,but I feel like you wont be more fulfilled after. Having a steady relationship is not just about sex and you know it.
At least with a wife or steady GF, you don't have to worry about STDs.

 

True that. I can see a 20 yo living the life. I guess that there is a time for it.

 

Hope this helps Golgo 13.

All the best.

 

I'm also very scared of catching STD. I never had sex but my therapist is gonna make me see a sexologist soon, I hope it will help. I heard some STD take 12 years off your life expectancy, truly scary stuff! I never had sex and since I'm 26, I feel like fu**ing all girls I see. I know it's the best way to catc STD but I've been dreaming about girls for 15 years. 1 girl can't satisfy 15 years of hunger! lol Lindsay Lohan from the Mean girls era could ...but that was over 10 years ago! Haha.

 

Love is not over rated. It's the best feeling in the world. Sounds like you're a tad bitter.

 

I agree with you Rav70 but when you're someone like me, who used to be very naive, fell in love with girls, only to get abused, how am I supposed to trust love again? I think that's park of what made me seek comfort in pornography, I felt betrayed, I was so hurt. One stole me all my money and I ended up in the street, okay, my mental toughness allowed me to survive and I reclimbed the mountain, ended up becoming an engineer a few years later but I'm bitter towards girls, with good reasons. I know, not all girls are bad but I might suffer from PTSD, it feels like my heart is broken (as if I lost the ''ability'' to love), I used to be really romantic but turned very pragmatic. It doesn't help that I'm an intellectual lol and looking up feminism, made my blood boil. I feel such anger when thinking about these women that break men lives. The human race is a miracle, thousands of years or evolution and we're fighting each other so much, what a mess. Think of all the wonders we'd accomplish if all humanity was united, we would rule over the galaxy but I'm getting off-topic. lol

I have huge ambition, I plan to become an entrepreneur after I get my degree but I don't want to end up with a girlfriend that will make me lose time, that will betray me and hurt me. I need love, I know it despite the fact I hate to admit it BUT I'm working so hard to help the human race move forward while I'm on this Earth, I don't want the work of my life to go to waste because of women, even if I adore them, otherwise I wouldn't be hooked on pornography.

Oh well, day 7 of NoFap, I'm having huge reflexions and life and women. lol To ensure I wouldn't relapse, I put my entire dream of entrepreneurship on the line. It works. Whenever the urges come back, I think about my dream and get into this state of absolute focus, the urges disintegrate.

 

@ChristoX8 I spent 10 years dating someone from the time I was 18 to 29 who treated me like garbage and tore me down emotionally. Then I dated a few liars and an abusive alcoholic.
I became a stronger person and I never gave up on love. I learned from my mistakes and learned to trust my gut feeling. If something looks like shit, and smells like shit... Guess what? It's shit. Abandon ship!
Things I've learned in life.. Don't assume everyone is honest. Lots of liars out there and insecure people willing to feed you a line of bullshit to further their agenda.
Don't compromise. You know what you want. For me someone having an amazing sense of humor is a must! So why did I waste 3 years with someone who didn't? Cause he was nice looking and had an amazing job... I was foolish.
Have a good cry and move on. Don't dwell in the past.
Always date someone you respect. I do think there's someone out there for everyone. Too many people stay in relationships that are bad because they are afraid of being alone.


No excuse to PMO. Period. Live your life!

 

What a great post. I wouldn't say I stopped believing in love but I have trouble trusting girls, trusting love.
I agree, it's just not worth the trouble.
Oh I believe you, last week someone tried to scam me for 400$, good thing is I grew psychologically in the last 2 years and a half and I didn't bite the hook, this time.
We all make mistakes, it's what make us humans. But we can all learn and become a better person, during all our life.
I don't cry very often but I'm seeing my therapist this afternoon at 4:15PM and we're gonna talk about my chilhood abuse that started this whole mess of PMO. I might cry.
I will.

Thanks for the support!

 

Nothing wrong with a good cry!