"My porn-related problems are destroying me mentally" -The solution

Since I found out about my porn use resulting in sexual problems like porn induced erectile dysfunction, porn induced low libido etc, my life has been a rollercoaster with occasional happy moments, followed by long periods of fear, doubts whether I would ever be able to have a succesful sex-life and periods where I was so depressed I was close to suicide. Eventhough I am still rebooting and overcoming this addiction, I am no longer suffering from porn related dysfunctions. Pay attention to the word suffering: I still have those problems and I am far away from recovering, but I am no longer mentally suffering from the problems porn has caused me.

There is no such thing as problems. Problems are illusions: they are created by the mind. Porn induced ed is a problem, because it means that there is a possibily one will fail having sex in the future. But, it is not really a problem right now is it? As you are reading this post from your chair right? Unless you need an erection to be able to read, which is hopefully not the case.

As my definition of the word problem might differ from other people's deffinition, some people will probably disagree on my statement that problems are illusions. "But what if a lion walks into my room? How can you possibly consider that not a problem, rather an illusion?" Situations where immediate action can be taken, I consider challenges. When the lion entered to room, you felt immediate fear, and you had to do something about it immediatly: whether that's killing the lion with a gun, or escaping through your window, you faced the challenge and you are still alive. The fear dissapears slowly and what was once a challenge, is no longer an issue.

We as human beings tend to think a lot. We are addicted to thinking. We are always labeling, analysing, judging and comparing situations with our mind. So when we start to think about our porn problems, we start to imagine possible situations that might happen regarding any issue you have related to porn. You create problems with your mind, that are not actually there: you don't know what's going to happen in the future. The thing is, after thinking so much about is, we are lost in a negative thinking cycle about a problem we can't even solve right now, apart from waiting untill our brain starts rewiring. The worry about these imagined future scenario's is what is making us feel down, anxious or depressed.

So how did I stop mentally suffering from my conditions? Well, I stopped thinking. If my mind is no longer able to create problems, there is nothing to feel depressed about. This is very hard. In order to start ignoring your mind you have to understand that your conciousness is not your mind. I learned to stop negative thinking patterns by slowly implementing techniques in my life that either teach me to ignore negative thoughts, or watch negative thoughts instead of following them.

I got introduced by this concept by a book called "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle, that teaches you to live in the moment and enjoy every second of your life.

I hope I have enlightened you a little bit on how our mind manipulates us, eventhough I find it very hard to put this concept into words. Have a fap-free week!