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Tori's Journey

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Tori S., Jul 19, 2016.

  1. Tori S.

    Tori S. Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys!
    Well my name is Tori,
    I am currently a college student in the process of becoming a nurse. (Wish my luck its not easy :p)
    Well I started nofap because one of my friend (female) introduced me to camming. At first I was freaked and just watched but gradually I started getting comfortable and started camming with strangers. Currently as of today I have a boyfriend who I adore and love but when I myself am alone I still engage in camming with complete strangers. I have not had the guts to tell him which is killing me inside. I don't wanna end up losing him. So this my nofap journey wish me luck :)
    Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
     
  2. BrazillG

    BrazillG Fapstronaut

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    I think its a great start that you want to stop. Stay focus, and dont fool yourself. We all have bad days and think: "just this time its ok. I really need it today". You dont need it, you're strong and you have the controll. I wish you the very Best :)
     
    Thatguy167 and Tori S. like this.
  3. Tori S.

    Tori S. Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much. You put a big smile on my face
     
    BrazillG likes this.
  4. mlang284

    mlang284 Fapstronaut

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    I'm low on advice - but I admire you for joining and telling your story. I think you will become stronger and search for more and more positive choices to take the place of the camming. You're doing better for him, and for you! Even if you relapse at some points, you will continue stronger afterward, with new strategies. You'll never face the struggle alone again, Tori. Very best wishes for the journey day by day.
     
    Saskia, shazam4103 and Tori S. like this.
  5. Tori S.

    Tori S. Fapstronaut

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    Awww thank you :)
     
  6. TheDancingPotato

    TheDancingPotato Fapstronaut

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    It's a great decision because Nofap it's an amazing path that will stop you from objectifying people and help you create deeper connexions with them and with yourself. I don't want to be misunderstood but you should not go on this journey simply because you do not want your boyfriend to find out (at least I don't recommend this approach). You should start Nofap because you want to do better and you want to improve yourself. I m not that good at long term relationships so I can't give you any advice on that topic. All I hope is that nofap it's just the first step and you will continue to improve yourself in other areas as well. You can do it and if you think I may help don't hesitate to message me. I wish you the best!
     
  7. Tori S.

    Tori S. Fapstronaut

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    Thank you :)
    Means alot
     
  8. Tori, you're gonna look back on your life in 60 years and be glad you quit this nonsense. The pleasure gained from these negative activities is completely fake. Why would you waste your time with a stranger? Now I ain't gonna lie, it will not be easy but if it was, everyone would quit. We are the lucky few. That nonsense was created to hold us back. I'm tired of it and I hope you are too. Good luck and keep us posted on your journey, I'm eager to hear from you.
     
    Tori S. likes this.
  9. Tori S.

    Tori S. Fapstronaut

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    Will do! Thank you so much for the confidence boost
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  10. Anytime.
     
    Tori S. likes this.
  11. shazam4103

    shazam4103 Fapstronaut

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    As some of the other replies have said here, I don't have much advice because I haven't been in your situation. But I do know you're making the right choice in trying to quit this. We're all here struggling in different ways, but we're here for you. You can beat this Tori. I believe in you. We all believe in you.
     
    Tori S. and mlang284 like this.
  12. Tori S.

    Tori S. Fapstronaut

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    Omg!
    Thank you :) people like you is the reason I stay strong
     
    mlang284 likes this.
  13. IGY

    IGY Guest

    And you are the same scumbag that said this to another member:
    You bloody hypocrite!
     
  14. bearbones

    bearbones Fapstronaut

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    Tori,

    You seem like a very sweet girl, very well intentioned, and very courageous for facing your addiction and sharing some of your experience on this forum. The best advice I can offer is to just take your recovery one day at a time, pursue this gift with everything you've got, and trust God through the process. Recovery is a gift, and I have found it helpful to ask God for help in the morning, and to thank Him at night. Any time you're tempted to relapse, log on and share about it, pray, or call a friend or accountability partner who understands what you're going through*. Sometimes helping others will take your mind off your own issues. Relapse is NOT a requirement, but if you find yourself slipping don't get discouraged and just get back up and keep learning and growing. Over time you will start to identify triggers, which are situations, people, places, or things that cause you to stumble. If you want to recover and reset you will learn to avoid these things at all costs.

    *I would highly recommend seeking help from other women. Every one is very vulnerable when dealing with some of the issues surrounding addiction and sexuality. Be careful with how open you are, as some people might be triggered by the things you say or get overly excited by your experiences. Try to share in a general way, and be careful of the kind of attention some members give you. Although we are all here to better our situation and recover, some of us are sicker than others and may be tempted to exploit or use your story to fuel their own fantasies or addictive behaviors. You are in my prayers, little sister, please keep me in yours
     
  15. Hard to improve on bearbones' and others' wise words, but I'll suggest that you write down what you feel is your single most important reason for wanting to do this -- whatever that may be and not what anyone else may think or judge -- so you can go back and draw strength, inspiration, and guidance from your own most heartfelt intention whenever you most need it. Best of luck to you.
     
  16. Arnak

    Arnak Fapstronaut

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    I did a lot of camming like you did. I like that a lot better than porn actually. It was great when with a nice partner with good cam (who happens to be cool) but lots of time the quality was bad or this new friend is a total turn off the moment I see her. There was a lot time spend looking for good fun pretty partners or just partners willing to cam. And then you need to find times when you both are home alone. The angle of view and what you can do on cam has its limits. It's kind of complicated when you think of it. At one point I liked to remind myself of all the down sides more than the up sides and when I think of it, there was more down than ups. That's pretty much what motivates me right now.

    Good luck to you. You'll win this
     
  17. First off welcome, hope you can find the support you are looking for on here.
    Your situation is different, but in many ways similar to others on here. In terms of telling your bf, if the issue is causing a lot of difficulty in the relationship it may be worth revealing some amd show him your making strides to improve your relationship. If you can get your addiction under control on here it may be better to not get into the whole issue and put the past in the past. I recommend you heck out the relstionship threads, some of the SOs dicuss how they pushed too deep into their husbands porn/sex addiction and it pushed them further away. I am not advocating lying and personally am prepared to discuss some of my issues if they come up with my girlfriend, but I want to grow my relationship without bringing excess baggage in too quickly.
    Focus on what you want and your needs and figure out how you want to grow.
     
    Tori S. likes this.
  18. Tori S.

    Tori S. Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the advice :)
    I am going to tell him soon. Just need a little bit of time it's not something easy to bring up
     
    GoneIncognito and mlang284 like this.
  19. Good luck, hope to hear later that it went well.
    Definitely a tough topic, may want to take the stance you want to quit for him and need his support.
    I'm sure you can do this on your own, but may be fine playing a bit of the "damesal in distress" to play to his hero trait and stroke his ego.
    Just some thoughts, take my advice with a grain of salt.
    You got this :)
     
    Tori S. likes this.
  20. Good luck Tori.
    You're not alone anymore.

    Cheers from France :)
     

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