90 plus days....yes I'm fine...

This is my story....this is my song....40 plus days....so far along...soooooo
This journey has taken me into a new realm...one that can be quite interesting....yes...quite
Interesting with some ups and downs...more ups than downs ....you see, I have been fapping since I was 11 years old...it all started when a person showed us some pictures and fapped in front of us....so, we all have a story with a beginning .....then, I started fapping ...with no semen at first, just a clear sticky fluid would come out....but there was an orgasm, of course....then, a friend, who was living close by, would stay overnight....we started borrowing brothers magazines.....and fapping to them....so we fapped until we were out of the 8 th grade...then women became the focus point, but because I fapped, I'm thinking now, that women were not as interested in me.....so I fapped....until now....I stopped on April 14, 2016..... This sight was stumbled upon while I was searching google for porn.....so I finally looked into it....read some real facts about how porn affects your life....and then I researched former porn stars, and how terrible their lives were.....so now I have this goal...simply stop touching mr happy...and no porn, of course....
The wife has been tolerant of my habit, but the sex stopped 15 years ago....many things caused that, but the fapping, and the hysterectomy....were the two main causes...
There was no extramarital sex going on with either one of us....we just got by....went to church...went to work....a dull life, but livable....
But now things are changing.....there is a notable difference ...yes....notable in ways that are hard to describe..
I went into hard mode....no sex...no porn....no orgasms...semen retention....the first two weeks were the hardest...P subs....fantasizing ....ect....mr happy was frustrated indeed...

 

But...yes....things are changing.....in a very interested way...attentive...my eyes are looking better..but my sexual urges are still very strong...in the balls...they move around and ache.....but not unbearably..I I relax, they start to give me a warm feeling that spreads upward....not unlike an orgasm....but different....a warm comfortable feeling....and the erections are starting to come by themselves....but with fantasy involved...nothing else...they are gaining in strength by the day....a full erection is something that I have not experienced for many years....they were just plain old erections....and I did not shoot semen...it only oozed out.....because I never gave it time to accumulate....and all of those years of masterbation took its toll....mr happy needs to heal....yes....and he is....slowly
This doesn't happen over night....

 

Thanks, Knee....it is very worth while to do this....my erections are unexplainably fuller and bigger...with no touch....no touch at all....one rule...no touch ...my mind is focused...this takes time...the wife will understand when it reboots....

 

But I'm in hard mode....yes...hard mode..but I get erections....I want mr happy to know that it is alright to get up.....just no spewing....that semen is special ...it must be saved...

 

I want to post everything that happens on this journey....just got the wife off of 30 years of Zanax....that's another story....it's been two years benzo free for her now....they were affecting her sex drive as well....she is now pretty much healed from them , but not 100% yet....benzos are BAD....

 

It's Monday, July 26 ....I quit masturbating on June 14, 2016 .....it has been a journey of learny......been tough at times...been great at times....some eye opening things ....some discoveries about myself and the world around me....
This is a great forum for people to find out what life is all about....semen is life giving.....it is for creating new life....if you cast your seed on fertile soil, it will produce abundance....blah blah blah....I'm chattering about things that you already know....you have been there....you know where I am headed....you will help guide me to springs of life....no....it's just me..no one else....yes I can hear you...no, I'm not crazy....yes, you are struggling to accept the challenge.....no, there is no gaurantees....but if you don't try, you will never know, now, will you...yes, I am talking to you, you are wondering why I know what you are thinking....it's easy...you are on the same journey as I ....

 

Uh....ya...still NoFap....blah blah blah....still intrigued by the whole thing....thinking that... 90 days wont be long enough....but I am in hard mode...yes...49 years of fapping....long time ....

 

My counter is not working....stuck on 44 days...

 

Oh...duh....it says 44 das on each post.....duh...

 

Thanks Neeraj.....it becomes easier...I think...yet there are still some hurdles to tackle...I fantasize still...

 

Well....it's been 47 days....the progress is measurable....the erections are more often and fuller. They last longer....social anxiety is way down....I can look people in the eyes with confidence....my voice is lower and resonates better ( I am a singer, song writer) ....I can perform better when singing and playing guitar...I haven't slipped yet, but did listen to a hypnotic audio....I do not think that audio is a good thing either...it is electronic and not a living thing....you cannot get life from non living things....

 

The wife knows that I am on this forum...not real interested though...so my abstinence hasn't showed much to her yet...but we were walking the dog last night ....I noticed that I get kind of short with her sometimes...I need to realize that it's not her...it's me....I need to channel those urges better.

 

50 days....still have hard cravings...still no touch mr happy...feel progress ...
Those balls do ache still....but if I focus, the ache turns to warmth...

 

Thanks dude!

 

I happy....I no touch Mr Happy....he ok with that so far...you're doing great also!
Keep pushin on....REO SPEED WAGON.